MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

[Budal202]

Hey Budal, the post ssri sexual dysfunction is pretty uncommon, I wouldn't let that stop you from trying it. I personally think that SSRIs will help people recover their serotonin better in the long run and I personally wish I would've started SSRIs soon after my drug abuse. But what I would definitely recommend you try if you haven't already is St. John's Wort and 5-HTP, it's similar to SSRIs in its capacity to increase serotonin and work as an anti depressant. These are not to be combined with SSRIs however for fear of serotonin syndrome.

If you're having sleep issues I think that could be addressed with various medications, and fixing your sleep and giving it time will fix most things in my opinion.

How long has it been since you did MDMA? There are some acute changes associated with the first months of having done MDMA that will go away, these include troubles with the brain's serotonin factories and that's why I recommend taking serotonin externally in the form of 5-HTP.

Hey Cotcha! Thanks for your attention.

It all started after I taking 7 pills of MDMA on July 30, 2015.

After that I had two weeks of total depersonalization, which at the time I did not know what it was and decided not to search anything about it.

I improved, the fact of not having researched about it allowed me to feel almost normal, and felt good enough to take again 2 MDMA pills on 30 October. I remember that night I just could not feel the effects, and went home. A friend of mine took only 1 of the same as i, and enjoyed the whole night.

When I got home it hit me, but it was very weak, and I did not feel the pleasure that I used to feel before, I felt very little pleasure and much more euphoria and anxiety, something looked like what i'm feeling today under Lexapro effect. I was already having some insomnia i think but three weeks after this night it began to worsen. After that I realized I had some of the sympthons, and connected eveything. Others sympthons began to emerge later.

I felt like crap all day after taking Lexapro, I can not concentrate on anything dind't mentally heared no music all day (one of the symptoms that i feel), which was good, but I think I will not continue.

I have not tried 5-HTP, I'm pretty tired of trying new things
I'm pretty tired of everything and frustrated. What do you think, should I keep taking lexapro, worth the risk? You are male or female?

I'm doing yoga, lifting, cardio...

Anyway thanks for having patience and helping.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

There is an enzyme called Tryptophan Hydroxylase that is responsible for converting dietary tryptophan (an amino acid) into 5-HTP, and then 5-HTP is converted into serotonin, after MDMA tryptophan Hydroxylase can be harmed essentially and can take a couple months to recover. This means that your body has trouble making serotonin out of dietary tryptophan and that it can help to take 5-HTP so your brain can make serotonin directly out of it. It is not a miracle cure but it does work for some people. There is a study showing that 5HTP reduces neurotoxicity when given with MDMA as well, though we are beyond that timeline but it just shows that it is effective at restoring serotonin levels. I must say again here that 5HTP is not to be combined with SSRIs for fear of serotonin syndrome. I just thought since you were about to embark on Lexapro you should be aware you might want to try 5-HTP first since typically it is best to try committing to SSRIs as long as you can (sometimes they can take 6 months for some of their effects to be realized).

It really helps to take 5HTP with something called ECGC, a green tea extract that functions as something called a decarboxylase inhibitor, normally 5HTP is broken down in the bloodstream fairly quickly so if you take ECGC it will last longer in your blood giving it a greater chance of being absorbed into your brain. I recommend trying 200-300mg 5HTP for a Week or two minimum u less it's somehow causing problems, and I would take it in the morning because rarely it can cause sleep problems, which leads me to sleep problems with SSRIs.

For some people sleeping on SSRIs is not a problem but statistically they decrease REM sleep and by many accounts they cause insomnia. An MDMA user might be a unique case though and they could benefit either both short and long term or just long term from them, but I'm of the opinion that sleep is more important for recovering from MDMA adverse reactions so if Lexapro is worsening your insomnia and that doesn't start getting better within a month I would try something else. But who knows maybe lexapro will help your sleep. There are however lots of options for sleep and you honestly might try some medications for sleeping to see if that helps you. Message me if you ever need help picking out a medication for sleep, I'm very familiar with sleep medicine. I recommend Trazadone, Mirtazapine, Clonidine (great med, I take myself, it essentially shuts down your adrenaline so you can sleep), Belsomra which might be hard to get but I also take myself, then there is stuff like Ambien/Lunesta but I would avoid those.

I'm a male, I'm 20 now but I abused ecstasy pretty bad (many 10+ pill binges and 5 day binges) when I was 14 years old and I have been recovering ever since. Cardio was really important for me, definitely keep up the cardio! I don't think you've caused yourself permanent damage because you've done barely any MDMA and there are plenty of acute short term effects like brain bloodflow changes and tryptophan Hydroxylase changes that can account for your symptoms, plus you felt good enough to take MDMA and after the first time, so I think you're perfectly capable of recovering with good time. This makes me think that maybe SSRIs aren't for you and you just need to give it more time. It takes about 2 months for the bloodflow changes to recover and about 3 months for the serotonin production changes to recover. Cardio can help the bloodflow changes for now and 5HTP can help the serotonin production changes for now.

At some point it's important to take into account the chronic sleep deprivation concerning recovery times - it might take 3 months for you to recover your tryptophan hydroxylase but if your poor brain has been enduring chronic sleep deprivation for that entire time then your recovery timeline depends on catching up on your sleep debt, which can take months.

So you have music stuck in your head as well? I have this and other audio hallucinations pretty bad sometimes - anti psychotics help with this, two good ones are Risperdal (I take myself, I become fairly psychotic and stop sleeping if I don't take it) and Seroquel (great med, it is much more of a sleeping med at lower doses like 25-50mg)

Best of luck, any questions are welcome. Think about asking your doctor about some of these various medicines I recommended, I personally take a couple at night to ensure I sleep a little bit- most of my mood issues are from not sleeping and I wish I would've realized this sooner.

 

[giovanni557]

Coctha u abuse ex at 14 years of age so I want to ask you since those 6 years of recovery did you did ex again or any other drugs??or another thing too we on here should help others by tall them the true about this awful drug on so they don't end it up on here. I wish the best guys on the recovery honestly take care.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

I did a lot of weed to try to sleep which I don't think was particularly helpful or harmful either way, but since then a lot of prescriptions that have helped. Take care of yourself too..

 

[herenow14]

Dropping by to send love to everyone and anyone suffering from an "LTC"

It gets better! You will recover! The only cure is patience and optimism.

Don't talk yourself in circles. I've been there. Picking and choosing your overlapping symptoms w/ other posters. You'll drive yourself insane. The mind is a trip.

Wasn't that long ago I thought I'd never return to "normal". I was pretty convinced I had to take my own life. Now I go weeks without even remembering that it ever happened.

Life goes on. Stay positive.

 

[skeeto222]

How long did yours go on for?

It's been 5 months here. Not cool. Tbh I'd feel completely normal if I had even a modicum of sexual desire.

 

[Lazyoaf]

Hey everyone,

it's been a while since i last posted here. I thought i'd post as i recently passed the two year anniversary of having a ltc. Although i still haven't fully recovered, i am so much better! I had a long period of feeling that my progress was so slow that i couldn't tell if i was actually getting better, but i am 100% sure i am recovering and am confident i will recover fully, or as close to fully as possible with time.

For the first year of my ltc I was basically a basket case of debilitating symptoms, with well over 20 affecting my quality of life 24/7. I had no respites from the symptoms for at least for the first 6 months. Most of those symptoms have now disappeared, which is an unequivocal sign of my improvement. I am left with six persistent symptoms, which themselves are much calmer than they were. I am now left with:

1) detached feeling (which fluctuates, but most of the time doesn't affect me unless i'm tired or super stressed. In the early days I just couldn't snap out of this symptom)
2) head pressure (used to manifest itself in quite a few ways, but is now a low level tension headache that fluctuates)
3) lightheadedness (hardly ever happens except for two or three times a week)
4) double vision (this happens with lights and in window reflections, i guess because double glazing has two panes, so two reflections. Doesn't really bother me and is improving)
5) floaters (This is nowhere near as distracting as it was. It used to be like being in a snowglobe, but the floaters seem lighter and fainter. )
6) fatigue (I seem to wake up not feeling refreshed and i get tired quite easily, but not in an overwhelming way like i used to)

i could add tinnitus, but it isn't as bad as it was, where it was so loud i could almost feel it, like wind whistling in my ears.

There are many symptoms that I simply forget about and it's when i remember that particular symptom that i realise it has gone. The latest to symptoms to disappear are TMJ, which has completely gone, many sub symptoms of head pressure- including a burning sensation on the crown of my head and above my ears and pressure points above and between my eyebrows, and on the bridge of my nose. Also tingling sensations and numbness on my face have disappeared. I now have no problem staying asleep, which was a big problem.

I feel like i'm on the road to recovery, and while i'm not setting any deadlines and such, I believe i'll need another 2 years or so to recover 100%. 2 years might sound a hell of a long time to have gone through this, let alone two more years on top of it, and i'm not gonna sugar coat it, it's been really tough, but I believe in a years time even more of the remaining symptoms will be gone or improved, so it's like every year gets easier. when i first became sick i literally thought my existence was going to be me stuck in a dark room as a recluse, but i've managed to get out there and work, date and enjoy life against the odds. I believe with the right help, attitude and lifestyle, most people will show improvement. I have achieved all of this without taking any medicine.

One thing i would say in retrospect is that although exercise, meditation, cbt and etc is helpful, it is best not to overdo things, as i started to feel worn down by the constant meditating in the morning and evening, going to yoga, cbt (which really did help) and more. Do what you feel helps you, but remember to have a normal life also and don't become obsessed.

 

[ryan23]

Hey everyone,

it's been a while since i last posted here. I thought i'd post as i recently passed the two year anniversary of having a ltc. Although i still haven't fully recovered, i am so much better! I had a long period of feeling that my progress was so slow that i couldn't tell if i was actually getting better, but i am 100% sure i am recovering and am confident i will recover fully, or as close to fully as possible with time.

For the first year of my ltc I was basically a basket case of debilitating symptoms, with well over 20 affecting my quality of life 24/7. I had no respites from the symptoms for at least for the first 6 months. Most of those symptoms have now disappeared, which is an unequivocal sign of my improvement. I am left with six persistent symptoms, which themselves are much calmer than they were. I am now left with:

1) detached feeling (which fluctuates, but most of the time doesn't affect me unless i'm tired or super stressed. In the early days I just couldn't snap out of this symptom)
2) head pressure (used to manifest itself in quite a few ways, but is now a low level tension headache that fluctuates)
3) lightheadedness (hardly ever happens except for two or three times a week)
4) double vision (this happens with lights and in window reflections, i guess because double glazing has two panes, so two reflections. Doesn't really bother me and is improving)
5) floaters (This is nowhere near as distracting as it was. It used to be like being in a snowglobe, but the floaters seem lighter and fainter. )
6) fatigue (I seem to wake up not feeling refreshed and i get tired quite easily, but not in an overwhelming way like i used to)

i could add tinnitus, but it isn't as bad as it was, where it was so loud i could almost feel it, like wind whistling in my ears.

There are many symptoms that I simply forget about and it's when i remember that particular symptom that i realise it has gone. The latest to symptoms to disappear are TMJ, which has completely gone, many sub symptoms of head pressure- including a burning sensation on the crown of my head and above my ears and pressure points above and between my eyebrows, and on the bridge of my nose. Also tingling sensations and numbness on my face have disappeared. I now have no problem staying asleep, which was a big problem.

I feel like i'm on the road to recovery, and while i'm not setting any deadlines and such, I believe i'll need another 2 years or so to recover 100%. 2 years might sound a hell of a long time to have gone through this, let alone two more years on top of it, and i'm not gonna sugar coat it, it's been really tough, but I believe in a years time even more of the remaining symptoms will be gone or improved, so it's like every year gets easier. when i first became sick i literally thought my existence was going to be me stuck in a dark room as a recluse, but i've managed to get out there and work, date and enjoy life against the odds. I believe with the right help, attitude and lifestyle, most people will show improvement. I have achieved all of this without taking any medicine.

One thing i would say in retrospect is that although exercise, meditation, cbt and etc is helpful, it is best not to overdo things, as i started to feel worn down by the constant meditating in the morning and evening, going to yoga, cbt (which really did help) and more. Do what you feel helps you, but remember to have a normal life also and don't become obsessed.

Hey did you try ssris ? I'm at the year mark now really struggling still every symptom you can think of i have it !
Got Zoloft from doc thinking about trying tonight what you's think ?

 

[Lazyoaf]

No i haven't, i would've taken one in the first year, but my doctor doesn't believe in giving out SSRIs, and so i've just been battling through without. It's been hard, but I am proof that you can recover without medicine. CBT helped a lot. I have the odd bad day where I feel like i just need to give in to it and demand my doctor gives me some, but I'm fine without it for now. Take it if you feel it is the right thing. What did your doctor say?

 

[ryan23]

No i haven't, i would've taken one in the first year, but my doctor doesn't believe in giving out SSRIs, and so i've just been battling through without. It's been hard, but I am proof that you can recover without medicine. CBT helped a lot. I have the odd bad day where I feel like i just need to give in to it and demand my doctor gives me some, but I'm fine without it for now. Take it if you feel it is the right thing. What did your doctor say?

It's been a year I've tryed everything even ssris for 6 weeks never really stuck them though My doc has done everything had loads of tests done all clear it's been a nightmare living in this state just constant brain fog/ vision problems, ringing in head and general weakness etc. But I've got ssri and going to give them a go again I have a family who have went through hell aswell due to this so hope the ssris will help me cope a bit better I just don't know what to do.
I honestly think I've damaged my brain I just can't function atall.
Why won't your doc give out ssris did he give you the reason ?

 

[Lazyoaf]

It's been a year I've tryed everything even ssris for 6 weeks never really stuck them though My doc has done everything had loads of tests done all clear it's been a nightmare living in this state just constant brain fog/ vision problems, ringing in head and general weakness etc. But I've got ssri and going to give them a go again I have a family who have went through hell aswell due to this so hope the ssris will help me cope a bit better I just don't know what to do.
I honestly think I've damaged my brain I just can't function atall.
Why won't your doc give out ssris did he give you the reason ?

He just doesn't believe in them and he's always been like that, guess he just thinks there's a less risky way of getting over things like this, like CBT, which is what he pushed me to do. The first year was a nightmare for me, and things only improved superficially during that time. It took a year and a half to feel real improvements and that continues to today.

 

[ryan23]

He just doesn't believe in them and he's always been like that, guess he just thinks there's a less risky way of getting over things like this, like CBT, which is what he pushed me to do. The first year was a nightmare for me, and things only improved superficially during that time. It took a year and a half to feel real improvements and that continues to today.

Yeah I definetly think ssris can be risky exspecially the way I feel just now but I don't have any improvement atall over the past year it's got worse if anything. What's your brain fog like I just can't understand anything or process information my memory aswell is terrible

 

[Lazyoaf]

It's ok, it was never that bad a symptom tbh, maybe when i'm tired or stressed but otherwise not a problem.

 

[skeeto222]

Lazyoaf did you ever have sexual problems? If so what was the extent of them and when did they go away? For me that is by far the most noticeable problem, and I feel my general anhedonia and inability to experience pleasure really is related somewhat to the extreme decline in sexual ability and desire.

 

[Lazyoaf]

Never had that problem thankfully

 

[Samyelljackson]

I've been suffering from what I think is either serotonin and or dopamine problems after using mdma religiously last year. It all came to a head in July and a couple days later I had terrible chest pains... The pain decreased ten fold but since then I still get little episodes of discomfort/pain here and there. I stopped doing mdma since but then in November I shroomed and had THE WORST EXPERIENCE ever and my brain didn't feel right during it and I've shroomed a bunch of times before so I knew I wasn't just being paranoid from the mushies. But anyway a couple days later I would feel like ice pick throbbing headaches mostly at the top or back of the head, sometimes only on one side others at both sides along with freezing cold sweaty feet and it still hasn't gone away to this day..except the freezing sweaty feet, that only happens a day or so after I do cardio which is also strange. I know shrooms play with serotonin and dopamine so I'm thinking that was the straw that broke the camels back as far as the headaches/cold feet? Any other people come across this? Any help is greatly appreciated

 

[Bottomless Pit]

Mushroom LTC Cure?

I've been suffering from a terrible life altering long term comedown for the past 3+ months. I have all the neuro side effects - DP/DR, inability to think, visual snow, nightmares, terrible memory, the list goes on. It's been a real shitty 3 months and I've been feeling more suicidal day by day.

I've been living a very healthy lifestyle all this time and I've only seen minimal improvements. Days feel like years and even the smallest tasks tend to become a difficult process. I can't even watch a movie without my mind going blank.

That said, I decided to do shrooms last night. No specific reason, just felt nihilistic enough to take the chance. The shroom trip was generally relaxing but definitely had its ups and downs. I've only done shrooms 2 other times prior, each time I've had good comedowns.

This morning when I woke up, I felt amazed at how replenished I felt. I'd say I diminished my LTC by maybe 15-20%? I'm definitely glad I took the chance. I've read that psilocybin supports neurogenesis, so it has me thinking, has anyone here tried shrooms during one of their LTC's? What were your results like?

 

[skeeto222]

Bottomless Pit!

Thank you for posting your experience. I have been wanting to trip shrooms for that exact reason, but have refrained because the time hasn't been right so to speak (living at home with parents etc.) Very glad to hear the shroom trip helped you. I'm hoping that if I trip shrooms it will have the same effect. Psilocybin does work on Serotonin and has been shown to support neurogenesis. Perhaps with repeated trips you could be 100% ?

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

Serotonin has been used medicinally to desensitize a bad kind of serotonin called 5HT2A, over density of serotonin is implicated in depression as well as MDMA abuse (animals given MDMA show over density of serotonin in some areas) so I imagine on this basis mushrooms would be a good treatment for MDMA abuse when dosed often enough.

 

[Samyelljackson]

Serotonin has been used medicinally to desensitize a bad kind of serotonin called 5HT2A, over density of serotonin is implicated in depression as well as MDMA abuse (animals given MDMA show over density of serotonin in some areas) so I imagine on this basis mushrooms would be a good treatment for MDMA abuse when dosed often enough.

I believe I'm a good example of why shrooms are BAD for someone who has mdma abuse. Mdma abuse showed negative effects on my heart with chronic chest pains and discomfort since July. It was after having a bad shrooming experience in November, I now have chronic ice pick/migraine headaches that occurred a couple days after I shroomed and hasn't gone away since. I'm very certain the ice pick migraine headaches are a result of the shrooms since I never had any headaches before I shroomed...just chest pain