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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Everyone on here is talking about hormones this that. I go to therapy and she just says its all in the mind. i need to retrain my brain. So now i feel worried all this therapy is for nothing if its actually something wrong with my body. Anxiety is still present and jus under a 1 year since it happened.
 
jusjenn21 said:
Everyone on here is talking about hormones this that. I go to therapy and she just says its all in the mind. i need to retrain my brain. So now i feel worried all this therapy is for nothing if its actually something wrong with my body. Anxiety is still present and jus under a 1 year since it happened.
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Im not sure how the tests work for girls but I imagine its different due to the menstrual cycle.

Either way its not a waste cause the mind-body connection means that you can recover your hormonal status using mental techniques. There people who have never tested this stuff and recovered from LTC.
 
Has anyone notice if the symptoms improve (IE, you feel better) when you consume carbohydrates? (pasta, bread, pizza, etc).
I seem to be noticing that. When I add some bread in my diet (I don't usually consume carbohydrates in my diet, I don't want to get fat) the twitching seems to be more manageable, they are weaker, and I'm able to sleep better.

Also, I *support* the theory of the hormones: when I'm on my period, I feel 100 times better (no twitching at all for 2-3 days). It comes back after.
 
@strangestuff Thank you for your feedback. Going through a hard week of anxiety as usual and got a lil paranoid reading this post. im kind of upset becuz i had it in my head when i hit thr 1 yr mark ill feel remarkably better as other post. and i dont =( i guess certain ppl are different and this anxiety is gonna drag me slowly every inch to the finish line. Ofcourse compared to first month and now its waayy different but i wanna close this chapter in my life and never look back! Peaceful vibes to all.
 
jusjenn21 said:
@strangestuff Thank you for your feedback. Going through a hard week of anxiety as usual and got a lil paranoid reading this post. im kind of upset becuz i had it in my head when i hit thr 1 yr mark ill feel remarkably better as other post. and i dont =( i guess certain ppl are different and this anxiety is gonna drag me slowly every inch to the finish line. Ofcourse compared to first month and now its waayy different but i wanna close this chapter in my life and never look back! Peaceful vibes to all.
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DOnt worry, It took me 2 years to really be like "wow Im almost back" But dont worry, everyones time schedule for recovery is different. At this point, ive been taking this pregnenolone for a week now and holy shit, I think its actually working. Maybe give it a try. I think this is more than a brain damage thing. It just has to be. Pregnenolone, is supposedly amazing for anxiety. I can attest to that. I feel pretty much normal, unless im looking for symptoms.

Also seriously learn about mediation and yoga. Its been a life saver for me as well.
 
nightElf said:
Also, I *support* the theory of the hormones: when I'm on my period, I feel 100 times better (no twitching at all for 2-3 days). It comes back after.
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wow thats cool, so maybe try the pregnenolone as well? Might work. 7.5mg in the morning, 2.5mg in the evening. Thats a verrrrrrry low dose. My mother is taking 100mg for totally unrelated reasons, so it just goes to show how effective this stuff is.

and btw, its over the counter, you can buy it off amazon for really cheap.
 
Aftermath of MDMAEar pressure, head pressure when going to sleep, ringing in left ear

Hi, call me Jamie. I am 19 years old, female, Asian, 4'11'' and on April 24th, 2015 I took "2P"(I don't know either.) of molly/ecstacy/mdma.
It was my first time -- and last time.
Before using it I was pretty sleep deprived but I don't think that matters?
When I took it and reached my peak it was overwhelming and felt like my brain was being pulled in all kinds of directions. However that only lasted for 5-10 minutes then the drug made me happy.
The come down gave me anxiety, I met with 9 doctors in total including a psychiatrist.
A lot of my symptoms have improved such as: feeling like my body is putting itself to sleep every time I sit, loss of appetite, anxiety.

The symptoms I'm concerned with now:
- continuous ear pressure on both sides of my ear.
- it intensifies when I try to sleep
- my brain feels like its fighting sleep when I try to sleep every night
- the only thing that can knock me out are if I take xanax and ambien together. (though i have discontined)
- i have a ringing in my left ear that plays two different frequencies
- i keep closing my throat (kind of like when youre finished crying and its kind of hard to breath?)

I have an MRI scan in a week and I'm getting my ear checked in a couple of days.
Help please.
Tell me someone has experienced the same thing and it has gotten better :(

ALSO IM NOT SURE IF I POSTED THIS IN THE RIGHT THREAD.. sorry!
 
Hi Guys,

I had a bad MDMA experience at the very start of this year, and since then have not felt completely normal.

I'm now four months in, and in the past 8 weeks or so I have come to realise that I am just suffering from the many symptoms anxiety and stress can cause, mainly Depersonalisation.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a link to a blog about depersonalisation as it's really helped me grasp why i haven't already recovered and what you need to do to recover.

In my personal situation, this depersonalisation feeling is like 'something just isn't right' and I want to 'get out of it'. The main thing I've taken from this persons blog post is that the drug experience triggered my brain to go into 'safe mode' (depersonalisation which is your brain protecting itself). Like all anxiety, the way to reduce it's power is to not fight it or run from it. Try to just accept that we have it and trust that it will all come good in the end. Cutting out caffeine and sugar is another main tip, as it increases cortisol levels directly related to anxiety.

I'm still far from recovered but just knowing that there are so many people that have been through the really confusing condition gives me hope.

I've seen similar posts to this on bluelight that have helped me understand this but this specific link was another blog entry that made it even clearer to me, and hopefully it can help other people understand their conditions too.

Whilst I know mine was drug induced, many people experience this 'safe mode' in non drug related issues, such as traumas like a car crash etc.

Anyway I hope this link helps, it certainly did for me : http://www.medhelp.org/user_journal...umn-about-depersonalization-and-derealization
 
Hey all. 15 months now. Forgot to buy more tianeptine so a few days of bad anxiety but back level now.
With regards to muscle twitching, how severe is everyone elses?
I take magnesium every day, if I dont take it for a bit I get an obvious muscle twitch at least every 5 seconds 24/7.

I was worried before that I may be suffering from jaw problems too, I'm pretty certain that is the case now. My right jaw joint is totally messed up, I guess a result of teeth grinding / clenching. When I try and click it back into place I get awful eye twitching and shooting pains. Got very tight neck muscles on the same side too.

Anyone who has recovered or come close to recovery here, did you ever take any drugs again during your LTC? I desperately want to take shrooms and have a night in with my friends before some of them leave the country but I am of course worried about having a horrible trip and triggering bad anxiety again.

One final question, how does your anxiety actually manifest? Do you find yourself really consciously worrying about things or do you feel purely physical symptoms? Because for a long time my symptoms are all physical. I am mostly normal 90% of the time but I get odd spells where I feel spaced out or my body just feels weird like im high and then that triggers conscious worrying.
 
pleasehelpme242424 said:
Hi, call me Jamie. I am 19 years old, female, Asian, 4'11'' and on April 24th, 2015 I took "2P"(I don't know either.) of molly/ecstacy/mdma.
It was my first time -- and last time.
Before using it I was pretty sleep deprived but I don't think that matters?
When I took it and reached my peak it was overwhelming and felt like my brain was being pulled in all kinds of directions. However that only lasted for 5-10 minutes then the drug made me happy.
The come down gave me anxiety, I met with 9 doctors in total including a psychiatrist.
A lot of my symptoms have improved such as: feeling like my body is putting itself to sleep every time I sit, loss of appetite, anxiety.

The symptoms I'm concerned with now:
- continuous ear pressure on both sides of my ear.
- it intensifies when I try to sleep
- my brain feels like its fighting sleep when I try to sleep every night
- the only thing that can knock me out are if I take xanax and ambien together. (though i have discontined)
- i have a ringing in my left ear that plays two different frequencies
- i keep closing my throat (kind of like when youre finished crying and its kind of hard to breath?)

I have an MRI scan in a week and I'm getting my ear checked in a couple of days.
Help please.
Tell me someone has experienced the same thing and it has gotten better :(

ALSO IM NOT SURE IF I POSTED THIS IN THE RIGHT THREAD.. sorry!
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Hi Jamie, welcome to bluelight

It's going to be a bit hard to offer advice, since you don't know that you really took MDMA and you have no idea just how much you took. There are a few things that are familiar, like the ringing in the ears and the anxiety. But it's only been two weeks and you have already met with 8 doctors and a psychiatrist? Again I don't know what you took and how much you took, but in case it was something else other than MDMA or it was a high dose of MDMA, after-effects are to be expected for a while, that's normal. So there's no need to go visit 8 doctors to get an answer. Look at it like this: MDMA is a very powerful drug, with very powerful effects, so it's only normal that the side- and after-effects can be quite powerful as well, no? But they are not permanent

Try to not worry about it too much and go on with your life. Try to live as healthy as possible and try to exercise daily (his is important, it helps a lot). And should you ever decide to try again, buy a testkit so you know that it was really MDMA that you took. I'm going to move this into the recovery thread. There are members there with more experience in this than me that will be able to offer more help. Good luck :)
 
I don't know if I have been hit by LTC or not but soon I will pass by 6 months of "misery" after having taking MDMA.

I took MDMA in the beginning of september. (Before that I had taken MDMA once and LSD once during the summer.) I had a 12 days long comedown. I waited another month and took it again and had a one day comedown. 1 month later a period of three weeks with furious stress started and one night it just said BAM. That was almost six months ago.

Is this LTC? Is it because of the LSD? What the fuck is wrong with me?
 
As soon as you guys accept the fact that this was drug induced and will only affect a short period of your life, you will begin to recover. Trust me, I spent months researching things and went to a doctor, about 13 different times for different physical and mental symptoms. I know when you are freaking out, its hard to think about ANYTHING other than what you are feeling. But ride it out. I have had several instances in my LTC where I have had quick little flashes of symptoms I thought I got over, and before I can notice them, they are gone. Give it time people. Eat like a saint, exercise daily, go impulse buy something, and do things that dont remind you of your terrible experience. I am on month 7 and feeling great.
 
With regards to muscle twitching, how severe is everyone elses?
I take magnesium every day, if I dont take it for a bit I get an obvious muscle twitch at least every 5 seconds 24/7.
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This is my biggest issue.
I get them everyday, some are strong, and some are more like annoying. Sometimes I jump when I get them. Playing a FPS in the PC with the mouse is imposible, the mouse jumps all the time.

I'm not sure about how often I get them. I'd say it was more often before (when I started, one per minute or so?). Now (7 months after), they seem to be lowering in intensity and amount, I get one every 10 mins? or so? Also, they get MUCH WORSE with Caffeine!
 
I've built a small survey to gather all the symthomps in the same place. It's anonymous, and you can see the results. Can you take 3 mins. and answer it? I'm sure it will be useful to try to map the most common affections.

Thanks!
Edit: I've added some new options that were suggested :) Thanks for taking the time to fill the survey! I really appreciate it :)

FILL SURVEY
 
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Okay so im paranoid once again. Theres this girl going around she has alot of seizures. (epilepsy) i asked her about her condition and she said she got it by doing XTC. ofcourse she did not know about my LTC. so i got freaked. i probably ate like 10 pills in a 6 month span which last time 1 yr ago i ate 4 at a time which landed me here with you lovely people (im a dumbass) Anyway this girl freaked me the f out. can that happen???? Can xtc give u epilepsy for life? i talked to someone close and he said shes prolly in denial and blaming the drug. What do u guys think? (no history with seizures)
 
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jusjenn21 said:
Okay so im paranoid once again. Theres this girl going around she has alot of seizures. (epilepsy) i asked her about her condition and she said she got it by doing XTC. ofcourse she did not know about my LTC. so i got freaked. i probably ate like 10 pills in a 6 month span which last time 1 yr ago i ate 4 at a time which landed me here with you lovely people (im a dumbass) Anyway this girl freaked me the f out. can that happen???? Can xtc give u epilepsy for life? i talked to someone close and he said shes prolly in denial and blaming the drug. What do u guys think? (no history with seizures)
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If it gave you seizures then you would have had em by now. Anxiety cannot cause seizures in 99.9% of cases
 
Don't worry Jenn this is wrong info . my father had epilepsy from high fever when he was young and it disappeared when he was 30. If you don't have them now your not going to get it end of story.
 
Thanks guys for the reassurance. Ugh idk why sometimes i let my anxiety run wild and freak out. i guess becuz this girl is doing really bad right now and idk its been on my mind for awhile. and i stupidly googled it. :0 which i should know better not too. Thank u once again for responding to my silly rant. ? Anxiety makes yu think the strangest things but the stranger part about it, is you sometimes believe it! Blah.
 
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