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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Like today, I just went out with friends and when we we're outside, I did like two backflips and my heart was going 160-180. It even hurts my ribs becuse my heart is racing too much. Honnestly I know my heart isnt broken, it's just the fear of not knowing what's really going on that is troubling me.
 
The heart thing is what bothers me the most as it is easily excitable. I believe it is something hormonal rather than anything wrong with the heart itself
 
My father is a cardiology scientist for 30 years and he says to damage your heart you have to have many repeat assaults to the heart and we're talking about years of stimulant abuse which would raise blood pressure than cause problems overtime but once you remove the culprit the heart will heal as it is a very zealous organ. As long as you have not had a heart attack which cause fibrosis or valve damage which can be 5ht2b agonist which mdma is mild but not like phen phen . If you have an echo and it seems fine you should be good.
 
Well honnestly it calms me down alot about the heart thing. I've heard many times that the heart is some crazy strong organ. It's kinda of stupid to think about having a heart attack at 19 like myself but sometimes my body tell me otherwise. I'm starting school in 2 days and i'm scared about returning to my vyvanse 40mg use. It's a mild amphetamine stimulant but I kinda need it at school. Such a dilema. I'm gonna be honest, recovering I don't even care anymore. I just don't want to die man. :'(
 
I know man but you should have hope. You should watch videos on YouTube with people recovering from traumatic brain injury. And it is amazing what the brain can do. Don't look at mice or monkey studies so much as humans are different. Human body can survive so much stressors that is how we stay alive.
 
Yeah that's what I say to people losing hope and newcomers. I tell them neuroplasticity knows no limits. The brain constantly re-routes itself and even thoughts wich aren't totally understood, can physically change the brain. It's giving me hope. I'm 19, I think my brain can figure a way out of this thing.
 
I just think it's a little disapointing. I was a school addict and kept pushing my knowledge and challenging myself in various mental games. Now I can't remember when I dropped my keys. I want to go to school so badly but my body is saying no no no. It's not like I want to sit around doing nothing, I fucking hate it!
 
I never considered suicide as an option. Even if deep down someone told me I have 0.01% chance of recovery, it's a gamble i'm ready to take.
 
Deltronpedro said:
@pmz:wow! Big ups dude! Glad you found youre way! Any reading matter you could recommend? Seems like you learned a much about Anxiety and mindcontrol, where did you get this from?
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Thanks man. A lot of what I picked up was from an 8 month treatment program I went through. It was really intense and expensive to be honest, but what they stressed the most was learning how to be present in life and focus on the environment around you, learn to be observant of your external environment rather than worrying about the internal stuff.

If there was really something I would recommend I would be meditate every single day. No excuses. If you think meditation is hard or you can't do it, good, Do it anyway and let it be difficult.

Also do yoga, 5 days a week as well. Get into it.

Do those 2 things everyday and months later you will look back and realize how Much those 2 simple things have change your life.

Reading does nothing for you unless you actually apply a practice to it. Yoga and mediation are the 2 strongest practices you can apply to your life.
 
me2point0 said:
Like today, I just went out with friends and when we we're outside, I did like two backflips and my heart was going 160-180. It even hurts my ribs becuse my heart is racing too much. Honnestly I know my heart isnt broken, it's just the fear of not knowing what's really going on that is troubling me.
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I promise you. Your focus on your heart rate IS What is elevating it so much.

You can't ignore your heart rate, but instead change What you tell your self about it.

Currently you are associating a high heart rate with a negative emotion or fear. From now on. Just observe your heart rate. Allow yourself to feel your heart beat without any type of judgement it.

Its just there and it exist and you feel it. It means nothing and it cannot hurt you. That's all you need to tell your self. It will settle. Trust me.
 
Thanks for the tip, I will try to get this work.

pmz said:
I promise you. Your focus on your heart rate IS What is elevating it so much.

You can't ignore your heart rate, but instead change What you tell your self about it.

Currently you are associating a high heart rate with a negative emotion or fear. From now on. Just observe your heart rate. Allow yourself to feel your heart beat without any type of judgement it.
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Damn, a friend of mine who got a "LTC" and got out of this in 2 months told me exactly the same. Observe everything, judge nothing. Driven by the fear of brain damage I did not knew what he was talking about. More and more all makes sense to me!
 
PMZ Did you suffer from DP/DR, Visual snow?
Anyone else who suffers/sufferd from DP/DR, did it go away, get better?
Many of my symptoms got better that i had initially.
But the 2 things that wreck my everyday life is Visual snow and Derealization.
I still get wierd sensations in my head.
I can manage to not think so much about the VS, i dont do that all day.
But the Derealization is the hardest part.
During every day, regardless of who im with or what i do. It feels as if im behind a glass wall.
I had DP feelings for a few weeks but that seemed to take a step back.

Also a question for TrulyBlessed87, did the fatigue develop over time or was it there from the begining?
Did any of you guys develop new symptoms over time?
 
The fatigue for me is worst now but the positives are less psychotic symptoms buy I feel very tired and achy. But many things did get better as I used to have nerve picking feelings and that went away completely. Right now I just have a very heavy head and eye pressure all the time and fatigue.
 
Hey guys.after Seven months i slowly get the feeling hat this whole ltc stuff was looming a while before i got the breakdown. When i think back i associate very Bad feelings with the time before the ltc. How about you guys? Sorry for cellphone typing
 
Strangestuff said:
I've said it before and I will say it again.

Make sure to get a full hormone work up guys to rule out endocrine HPA dysfunction. That includes a 4x saliva cortisol test but also a blood cortisol AM test.
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But do you have heard about people who habe recovered after hormone therapy?
Are there things that help?
 
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