Azuzil
Bluelighter
MDMA - Drug Virgin at 23
Everything I know about ecstatic magic I learned from MDMA
Experience: Virgin
Trip start: 11:30 PM CST
Trip end: 5 – 6 AM
In 2001 I was 23 and I tried X for the first time and my world changed a little bit. I dropped at 11:30ish, I was with my 3 friends. Roommate Jason, his g/f Kelly and my dealer and babysitter Jeremy. I was trying to take a nap before they showed up so I wouldn’t freak out. I was in loose clothes and wrapped in my blanket. I had done a bunch of research before I rolled. I babysat w/ Jeremy for the other two before I would do it. But what I saw was enough that I wanted to try.
I took one pill, probably a low grade dolphin. I came up in 40 min. I could tell right away because I felt the stimulants hit me. My heart clenched like epinephrine does, and I told everyone it was speedy before it hit them. Then it was like the air got real liquid and time shifted a half second to the right and slid. I started hearing the music as very tinny and people’s voices were odd like they were on a bad connection coppery. I remember getting really cold and feeling the A/C move around on my skin. I was marveling at the difference when Jeremy asked how my couch felt. I moved my hand to feel it and I closed my eyes to the pleasure. I “rolled” around and writhed on the couch moaning for what everyone said was 1.5 hours. I only remember small parts of those hours because my eyes were closed and I had no way of cataloging those memories or anything that was like them to compare. I remember people walking in and out of the room and commenting on me and saying I was good at least once and laughing at what an e-tard I was. But I didn’t care, I was having a great time in my own world.
They finally made me sit up and Jeremy talked to me worried after my moaning and writhing. I felt his hair and touched him and he laughed at me in a nice/amused way. I talked to Kelly for a bit and asked her if I could bite her and she said yes being the masochist she is. It was fun and she said it sucked we had no attraction cause that was damn hot for her. I spent the rest of the time talking to Jeremy in my room when my icky roommate came home drunk as usual. I had problems making concepts work right with the words I could think of. I at one point was trying to explain a point and got frustrated and just grabbed his hand and pushed that feeling to him. He smiled and his eyes widened and he said “I understand.”
Earlier in the evening I was on the floor and I looked up and just breathing was pleasurable I felt all the energy in the world riding in a huge stream of pleasure just above our perceptions, connecting to us only through pleasure. I only had to open to pleasure and instead of getting swept away in that current, ride with it and shape the energy with will and there would be nothing I couldn’t do. I understood fully ecstatic magic and how it was real and not a joke or an excuse to get fucked up. I didn’t sleep that night and found out my mouth/tongue was all cut to ribbons and I hurt but I was happy and glowing with a feeling of newness. I looked at everything and took it in realizing how amazing life was and how we take for granted all the things we do and see everyday. It was like being reborn. I thing we are continually born and evolving and we shed our skin to look at the world anew if we are to grow. I know I will be doing X until I stop learning from it.
Azuzil
Everything I know about ecstatic magic I learned from MDMA
Experience: Virgin
Trip start: 11:30 PM CST
Trip end: 5 – 6 AM
In 2001 I was 23 and I tried X for the first time and my world changed a little bit. I dropped at 11:30ish, I was with my 3 friends. Roommate Jason, his g/f Kelly and my dealer and babysitter Jeremy. I was trying to take a nap before they showed up so I wouldn’t freak out. I was in loose clothes and wrapped in my blanket. I had done a bunch of research before I rolled. I babysat w/ Jeremy for the other two before I would do it. But what I saw was enough that I wanted to try.
I took one pill, probably a low grade dolphin. I came up in 40 min. I could tell right away because I felt the stimulants hit me. My heart clenched like epinephrine does, and I told everyone it was speedy before it hit them. Then it was like the air got real liquid and time shifted a half second to the right and slid. I started hearing the music as very tinny and people’s voices were odd like they were on a bad connection coppery. I remember getting really cold and feeling the A/C move around on my skin. I was marveling at the difference when Jeremy asked how my couch felt. I moved my hand to feel it and I closed my eyes to the pleasure. I “rolled” around and writhed on the couch moaning for what everyone said was 1.5 hours. I only remember small parts of those hours because my eyes were closed and I had no way of cataloging those memories or anything that was like them to compare. I remember people walking in and out of the room and commenting on me and saying I was good at least once and laughing at what an e-tard I was. But I didn’t care, I was having a great time in my own world.
They finally made me sit up and Jeremy talked to me worried after my moaning and writhing. I felt his hair and touched him and he laughed at me in a nice/amused way. I talked to Kelly for a bit and asked her if I could bite her and she said yes being the masochist she is. It was fun and she said it sucked we had no attraction cause that was damn hot for her. I spent the rest of the time talking to Jeremy in my room when my icky roommate came home drunk as usual. I had problems making concepts work right with the words I could think of. I at one point was trying to explain a point and got frustrated and just grabbed his hand and pushed that feeling to him. He smiled and his eyes widened and he said “I understand.”
Earlier in the evening I was on the floor and I looked up and just breathing was pleasurable I felt all the energy in the world riding in a huge stream of pleasure just above our perceptions, connecting to us only through pleasure. I only had to open to pleasure and instead of getting swept away in that current, ride with it and shape the energy with will and there would be nothing I couldn’t do. I understood fully ecstatic magic and how it was real and not a joke or an excuse to get fucked up. I didn’t sleep that night and found out my mouth/tongue was all cut to ribbons and I hurt but I was happy and glowing with a feeling of newness. I looked at everything and took it in realizing how amazing life was and how we take for granted all the things we do and see everyday. It was like being reborn. I thing we are continually born and evolving and we shed our skin to look at the world anew if we are to grow. I know I will be doing X until I stop learning from it.
Azuzil
