This is my first trip report, so I apologize for any faux-pas I may commit. But I wanted to post this because it was a sort of disappointing experience for me and I wanted to know if other people had had similar experiences, or could perhaps provide some sort of explanation.
*2 purple smileys each
*Ingested
*No test
*I've rolled maybe 10 times in the past two years.
I bought 4 purple smiley pills from a new source who is a friend of a friend--not totally unknown. Paid $20 a pill.
I should begin by saying that until this trip, my roommate was hands-down my favorite rolling partner. We've rolled together a few times in the past and usually had a fantastic time. We usually prefer to roll alone at home, as it usually knocks us on our asses and we can roll around on the bed moaning with wild abandon, which you can't really get away with at a club.
I should also add that I am clinically depressed, so I tend to have weird reactions to drugs and they are not always pleasant.
So, as a Christmas present/birthday present for my roommate, I purchased 4 pills, 2 for each of us. We were really looking forward to rolling, since it had been over six months since my last roll, and several months since her last. Before we took the pills I was feeling really fantastic and optimistic and ready to have a good time.
My roommate had to be to the doctor the next morning, so we took the first pills at 7 pm. We both felt that we "felt something" almsot immediately, although it could have been a sort of placebo effect.
Within 30 minutes she was feeling fairly disoriented and was ready for her come up. I was feeling slightly disoriented as well, but I didn't come up for 30 more minutes.
At about 45 minutes my roommate was having a great time, lying back on the bed with her eyes closed and moaning. Meanwhile, I was still going through a rather strange, prolonged come-up. I always have rough comeups on E, but this one was strange because it lasted quite a long time. During this time, I became really annoyed at any noise and light. First we had to turn off the TV. Then it was too bright, so lights went off and lava lamp went on. Then that was too dark, so we had to turn on a black light as well. I was just feeling very irritable, and I'm sure it was annoying my roomie, who seemed to be havnig a pretty good time.
After "peaking," my roommate went straight into talkative phase, which was unusual, because when we drop we usually have an hour of what we call "orgasmic phase" before the talkative phase sets in. But she went straight to talkative, while I was only beginning to come up.
Since I was still only coming up (it took me a good hour to come up, whereas it only took her 45 minutes max) and she was yammering away, I became extremely annoyed. Partially because I can't take noise when I'm coming up, and partially because she was telling me the same stupid story she always tells me when we do E together. It was great the first time, but now it's just really annoying. It's the same stupid story about some asshole ex-boyfriend of hers that treated her like shit, and she always insists on telling it to me when we roll, even though she's told me a hundred times before.
At this point I became rather annoyed, and I felt like she was killing my high. I think I finally managed to either block her out or shut her up, and that was a good thing. I can't describe her experience too much, but it did seem like she was having a much better time than I was.
A couple hours passed--not sure about how they broke down, but it was a weird high. I was pretty much unable to talk for those two hours. Every once in a while I could smile and blurt somethign out, but mostly I could only grunt, while I laid down with my eyes closed.
There wasn't much jaw clenching or chewing up of my mouth. None of the real signs that I was rolling, it was just sort of boring and I was longing to be sober again so I could never do E again.
Anyway, the hours that passed were a blur, and at 11 pm we decided to drop our second pills. (I figured I might as well do mine and get it over with, since I was planning on swearing off E after that night--sad, right?)
So we dropped the second pills, and again she came up slightly faster than me. The fact that she was coming up so much faster than me was strange to me, because we were taking identical pills, and we had both eaten at the same time earlier that day, even the same meal. In fact, she had eaten more than me, which made me think I should have come up faster since I had less food in my stomach.
I felt much better with this pill and was very glad I took it. Finally I got the real nice rush that I love about E and the come-up wasn't bad at all. But the rush didn't last long at all and I never felt very talkative, and for some reason the only thing I wanted to talk about was death, which was really strange.
So within an hour I was feeling depressingly sober, and my roommate was acting really strange and I was worried about her. She was just lying completely still with her eyes closed, and I had to keep checking to make sure she was breathing, because she never acts like this. This may have also killed my roll, as it's never fun to have to worry that your friend is going to die.
So eventually she got up and made for the bathroom and puked.
The come down was much quicker than normal. All the phases seemed to pass very quickly and drastically. Went from peaking for maybe 10 minutes, to sort of pleasantly rolling for 30 minutes, to just sort of rolling for 30 more minutes, to feeling suddenly like I'd been dropped off back in sober-land. Blech.
I'm guessing these pills were weak. The upside to this was that the crash was not half as harsh as it usually is. Usually, after I've really come down I seriuosly feel like Death. But this time I just felt tired and sleepy and was able to fall asleep by maybe 4 am.
We both agreed that we felt much better than usual the next day, and I'd have to say that was the best part about these pills. No torn up mouth, no hangover feeling, just a nice "after glow."
I also wanted to add that throughout the experience I was almost constantly feeling ridiculously chilly, even though my roommate was comfortable. Throughout the night I couldn't seem to get warm at all, which is pretty strange for E. It was a really horrible feeling, like I was thinly dressed outside and a cold wind was blowing, even though I was warmly dressed and under the blankets.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Also, when I'm having a not-so-good trip (this has happened before), I get this unpleasant feeling in my head, which was what I had for most of the first pill. I feel like the roots of my hair are burning and my whole head had this weird feeling like my brain is frying or something. But strangely, when I roll properly (i.e. higher dose) I don't have this sensation and just feel great. That doesn't seem to make sense, since you'd think my brain would feel more fried on higher doses.
So the point of this post is for me to ask some questions.
Why did I take so much longer to come up than her, and why was my first come up so very harrowing? It took me a good 30 minutes more than her.
Why were these pills so disappointing? Were they just weak? Have I already "lost the magic?" (I've rolled maybe 10 times in the past 2 years, so if I've already lost the magic, that's really sad.) Or perhaps were there other chemicals in the mix with these pills to supplement a weak dose of MDMA? The pills were strange for both of us, not typical at all.
I think I'm not going to do E anymore. It's too hard to find a good pill in these parts and I'm sick of getting ripped off and being disappointed. And unless it was just that these were weak pills, it doesn't even seem worth it to me.
And should I not roll with my roomie anymore? She seriously annoyed me, and it's kind of sad because she used to be my favorite rolling partner. But I cannot take her telling me that dumb story one more time, and I feel that she constantly kills my roll.
Or maybe it was the environment. I seem to have a weird reaction with E, and ideally I like to roll in a room with no music or noise. I can't take a lot of noise, so maybe being subjected to the noise of her room (because naturally she, being a normal E-person, needed music and such) is part of what killed my roll.
Alright, feedback is much appreciated, because I am feeling rather depressed and disillusioned about E, and would love to know that there is some hope.
Thanks,
--C
*2 purple smileys each
*Ingested
*No test
*I've rolled maybe 10 times in the past two years.
I bought 4 purple smiley pills from a new source who is a friend of a friend--not totally unknown. Paid $20 a pill.
I should begin by saying that until this trip, my roommate was hands-down my favorite rolling partner. We've rolled together a few times in the past and usually had a fantastic time. We usually prefer to roll alone at home, as it usually knocks us on our asses and we can roll around on the bed moaning with wild abandon, which you can't really get away with at a club.
I should also add that I am clinically depressed, so I tend to have weird reactions to drugs and they are not always pleasant.
So, as a Christmas present/birthday present for my roommate, I purchased 4 pills, 2 for each of us. We were really looking forward to rolling, since it had been over six months since my last roll, and several months since her last. Before we took the pills I was feeling really fantastic and optimistic and ready to have a good time.
My roommate had to be to the doctor the next morning, so we took the first pills at 7 pm. We both felt that we "felt something" almsot immediately, although it could have been a sort of placebo effect.
Within 30 minutes she was feeling fairly disoriented and was ready for her come up. I was feeling slightly disoriented as well, but I didn't come up for 30 more minutes.
At about 45 minutes my roommate was having a great time, lying back on the bed with her eyes closed and moaning. Meanwhile, I was still going through a rather strange, prolonged come-up. I always have rough comeups on E, but this one was strange because it lasted quite a long time. During this time, I became really annoyed at any noise and light. First we had to turn off the TV. Then it was too bright, so lights went off and lava lamp went on. Then that was too dark, so we had to turn on a black light as well. I was just feeling very irritable, and I'm sure it was annoying my roomie, who seemed to be havnig a pretty good time.
After "peaking," my roommate went straight into talkative phase, which was unusual, because when we drop we usually have an hour of what we call "orgasmic phase" before the talkative phase sets in. But she went straight to talkative, while I was only beginning to come up.
Since I was still only coming up (it took me a good hour to come up, whereas it only took her 45 minutes max) and she was yammering away, I became extremely annoyed. Partially because I can't take noise when I'm coming up, and partially because she was telling me the same stupid story she always tells me when we do E together. It was great the first time, but now it's just really annoying. It's the same stupid story about some asshole ex-boyfriend of hers that treated her like shit, and she always insists on telling it to me when we roll, even though she's told me a hundred times before.
At this point I became rather annoyed, and I felt like she was killing my high. I think I finally managed to either block her out or shut her up, and that was a good thing. I can't describe her experience too much, but it did seem like she was having a much better time than I was.
A couple hours passed--not sure about how they broke down, but it was a weird high. I was pretty much unable to talk for those two hours. Every once in a while I could smile and blurt somethign out, but mostly I could only grunt, while I laid down with my eyes closed.
There wasn't much jaw clenching or chewing up of my mouth. None of the real signs that I was rolling, it was just sort of boring and I was longing to be sober again so I could never do E again.
Anyway, the hours that passed were a blur, and at 11 pm we decided to drop our second pills. (I figured I might as well do mine and get it over with, since I was planning on swearing off E after that night--sad, right?)
So we dropped the second pills, and again she came up slightly faster than me. The fact that she was coming up so much faster than me was strange to me, because we were taking identical pills, and we had both eaten at the same time earlier that day, even the same meal. In fact, she had eaten more than me, which made me think I should have come up faster since I had less food in my stomach.
I felt much better with this pill and was very glad I took it. Finally I got the real nice rush that I love about E and the come-up wasn't bad at all. But the rush didn't last long at all and I never felt very talkative, and for some reason the only thing I wanted to talk about was death, which was really strange.
So within an hour I was feeling depressingly sober, and my roommate was acting really strange and I was worried about her. She was just lying completely still with her eyes closed, and I had to keep checking to make sure she was breathing, because she never acts like this. This may have also killed my roll, as it's never fun to have to worry that your friend is going to die.
So eventually she got up and made for the bathroom and puked.
The come down was much quicker than normal. All the phases seemed to pass very quickly and drastically. Went from peaking for maybe 10 minutes, to sort of pleasantly rolling for 30 minutes, to just sort of rolling for 30 more minutes, to feeling suddenly like I'd been dropped off back in sober-land. Blech.
I'm guessing these pills were weak. The upside to this was that the crash was not half as harsh as it usually is. Usually, after I've really come down I seriuosly feel like Death. But this time I just felt tired and sleepy and was able to fall asleep by maybe 4 am.
We both agreed that we felt much better than usual the next day, and I'd have to say that was the best part about these pills. No torn up mouth, no hangover feeling, just a nice "after glow."
I also wanted to add that throughout the experience I was almost constantly feeling ridiculously chilly, even though my roommate was comfortable. Throughout the night I couldn't seem to get warm at all, which is pretty strange for E. It was a really horrible feeling, like I was thinly dressed outside and a cold wind was blowing, even though I was warmly dressed and under the blankets.
Also, when I'm having a not-so-good trip (this has happened before), I get this unpleasant feeling in my head, which was what I had for most of the first pill. I feel like the roots of my hair are burning and my whole head had this weird feeling like my brain is frying or something. But strangely, when I roll properly (i.e. higher dose) I don't have this sensation and just feel great. That doesn't seem to make sense, since you'd think my brain would feel more fried on higher doses.
So the point of this post is for me to ask some questions.
Why did I take so much longer to come up than her, and why was my first come up so very harrowing? It took me a good 30 minutes more than her.
Why were these pills so disappointing? Were they just weak? Have I already "lost the magic?" (I've rolled maybe 10 times in the past 2 years, so if I've already lost the magic, that's really sad.) Or perhaps were there other chemicals in the mix with these pills to supplement a weak dose of MDMA? The pills were strange for both of us, not typical at all.
I think I'm not going to do E anymore. It's too hard to find a good pill in these parts and I'm sick of getting ripped off and being disappointed. And unless it was just that these were weak pills, it doesn't even seem worth it to me.
And should I not roll with my roomie anymore? She seriously annoyed me, and it's kind of sad because she used to be my favorite rolling partner. But I cannot take her telling me that dumb story one more time, and I feel that she constantly kills my roll.
Or maybe it was the environment. I seem to have a weird reaction with E, and ideally I like to roll in a room with no music or noise. I can't take a lot of noise, so maybe being subjected to the noise of her room (because naturally she, being a normal E-person, needed music and such) is part of what killed my roll.
Alright, feedback is much appreciated, because I am feeling rather depressed and disillusioned about E, and would love to know that there is some hope.
Thanks,
--C
