MDMA Euphoria

[Matt1000]

I never get euphoria with MDMA, it doesn't do much that's obvious psychologically - or so I thought - but taken at home I did get the introspective I was looking for. It was like being my own counsellor. Stepping outside of and seeing myself without judgment or preconceived ideas.

I can see why it's used in counselling. It won't turn sad memories into happy ones, but it does enable memories to be floated back into the head without any accompanying negative feelings, as it is, without preference.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Nothing beats the euphoria I experience from good MDMA.

Even shit MDMA is better than anything else.

Can't beat it...

 

[SotPoker1012]

MDMA is the only time I feel like a full human being. Its like it turns on a piece of me that was missing.

 

[Matt1000]

MDMA is the only time I feel like a full human being. Its like it turns on a piece of me that was missing.

That's the bit I've had. The introspection is quite amazing.

At home, quietly, not so much on the night, but in the days after. I feel that it has reconnected some parts of my psychology that I had shut down while at the same time showing me when and why, and it's a remarkable drug in that context.

This is where I can relate to experiences others describe. Indeed it's what I wanted and yes, it's a miracle drug at showing you who you are without attachment, without prejudice, without preference, and without the blocks that we install in ourselves often as a self defence mechanism. I do not believe I would ever have gained that perspective by paying 5000 dollars to chant refrains at a shamen in the desert somewhere.

On the bright side, I don't get any comedown. It doesn't make me feel down afterwards. It just wears off. What's not to like. Well, having the experience described by the drug's street name for only about 30 seconds on come-up if I'm very lucky. It's very pleasant until my brain decides "that's quite enough", then it disappears as quickly as it came. The magic part happens much later on.

1 out of 2 isn't bad, and I do get a brief glimpse of the euphoria.

The ironic twist is that I wanted to know why my emotional reactions overwhelm me into making some poor choices at times in my life and how some aspects of my "programming" (mostly but not exclusively the nurture part) have resulted in negative outcomes - caused by overreactions to something from which my subsconscious is trying to protect me by shutting off emotional responses causing behaviours which seem normal to me, maybe puzzling to others, and actually inappropriate. The drug has shown me why in such a clear way that I'm still processing all of it. It's like being one's own counsellor.

This "shut down of emotions" sounds familiar, doesn't it. If I were to hazard a guess, that also involves shutting down the extremity of the seratonin release as soon as it's recognised. A bit like having SSRIs built in, perhaps. We shall probably never know. I'm going to give it one more go to see if I can get the recreational aspect to work, but I have gained the more valuable part.

 

[Biscuit]

I never get euphoria with MDMA, it doesn't do much that's obvious psychologically - or so I thought - but taken at home I did get the introspective I was looking for.

Matt1000 - if you don’t mind me asking, when did you first start taking MDMA and what city/country are you from? Cheers .

 

[Matt1000]

Matt1000 - if you don’t mind me asking, when did you first start taking MDMA and what city/country are you from? Cheers .

Tried it first aged about 24. I was always the clubber, not the pub person. Made me sick. The two subsequent times it mostly gave me wind. Nothing psychological. I've tried it about a dozen times in the last year, let us just say that I'm more than twice that age now. It doesn't surprise me that it doesn't really work on me. The body and brain have aged but the reaction is the same.

My best description is this: imagine the bottles of spirits behind the bar. They're fitted upside down into a holder with a tap at the bottom. You put the glass under it and hold the button down. Eventually all the liquid is released. The glass would overflow.

However my release mechanism doesn't have that option. No matter how long the button is held down it will release only one shot. This is why - if I have more, 30 minutes after that - it will dispense one more shot. And so on.

I haven't tried snorting it yet, I may do that next weekend.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I never get euphoria with MDMA, it doesn't do much that's obvious psychologically - or so I thought - but taken at home I did get the introspective I was looking for. It was like being my own counsellor. Stepping outside of and seeing myself without judgment or preconceived ideas.

I can see why it's used in counselling. It won't turn sad memories into happy ones, but it does enable memories to be floated back into the head without any accompanying negative feelings, as it is, without preference.

you're over 25 years late for euphoria I'm afraid

Have a look at clubbing/rave vids from the late 80's / 90's and observe the clear euphoria displayed by people on ecstacy

now try and find a video shot in the last 20 years where people display the same levels of euphoria - you won't be able to

 

[Matt1000]

you're over 25 years late for euphoria I'm afraid

Have a look at clubbing/rave vids from the late 80's / 90's and observe the clear euphoria displayed by people on ecstacy

now try and find a video shot in the last 20 years where people display the same levels of euphoria - you won't be able to

I made exactly that comment before - those were my clubbing years. Something like this:



I remember it well. I'd watch my mates with faces like that and felt.. discriminated against. But I was always outgoing and I could happily dance for hours stone cold sober drinking water. People would ask me where I got the pills and I could tell from their faces that they didn't believe me when I said I don't bother with them because they don't work on me

My first theory would have been "it doesn't work on me because I am now too old", but then it didn't work then, either. It worked on this guy:

Confessions of a middle-aged Ecstasy eater

He's a 50-year-old writer, buys drugs from his son and says they give him the best experiences of his life. By Anonymous

www.theguardian.com

.. but then he'd never taken anything else. If I hadn't had strong weed, I'd think MDMA was a strong drug, as it is, I'd say MDMA is the mildest drug of all except perhaps for mild hashish.

What happened next was that everything and all at once, while clearly remaining itself, was transfigured, transmogrified, a new self, a simultaneously deeper and higher, older and newer self - smoother and softer and rounder. The world was suddenly guilt- and worry- and wrinkle-free, palpably, beautifully buoyant - visually, texturally, aurally - transcendently right and glorious and divine. Whatever beautiful thing one can imagine, it is that much more beautiful on E

I had that in a club last year. We'd gone to the bar. I came up and turned back to face the crowd. I saw what was described here. The dry ice looked different. Colours were bolder. The sense of movement was smoother. The music became more.. intrinsic. I grinned.

Two minutes later, we returned from the bar and rejoined the group, and those sensations were merely a memory.

It's the glimpse of that that makes me want to try again. I don't know what it is meant to do. I just assume that while it probably doesn't remain that potent for two hours, it comes back around again and again. I think we know it isn't going to work but I'll give it one more shot. The experiment may then be concluded

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

^^^^ just sound like mdma isn't for you - it most definitely was a strong drug....way back when anyway. 5 hours of total euphoria minimum

But if you were taking what your friends were taking back then and it wasn't affecting you the same, well...it points to your constitution somehow not responding to mdma as much as other people somehow. I've heard other people say very similar stuff regarding other drugs.

I'd be extremely surprised if you got what you're looking for out of it if you take it again but as it sound like you want to give it another go I'll wish you the best of luck

 

[Matt1000]

^^^^ just sound like mdma isn't for you - it most definitely was a strong drug....way back when anyway. 5 hours of total euphoria minimum

But if you were taking what your friends were taking back then and it wasn't affecting you the same, well...it points to your constitution somehow not responding to mdma as much as other people somehow. I've heard other people say very similar stuff regarding other drugs.

I'd be extremely surprised if you got what you're looking for out of it if you take it again but as it sound like you want to give it another go I'll wish you the best of luck

Thanks. I still feel.. discriminated against but it's nobody's fault. That's just.. how it is.. at least I don't get the comedowns, I suppose!

Actually, the best option is probably not to snort it. Based on re-reading what I wrote, it would be better to put maybe 400mg in a tall glass of coke and set a timer to go off every ten minutes. At which point I drink a little more. And so on, for a few hours. If that sounds terribly orchestrated and overcomplicated, it's because at a certain point my sense of time will pass, and I will forget.

That should keep it "dripping through" with a small "roll" every ten minutes or so.

There is an underlying irony in all of this. The introspection I was looking for is related to how I relate to other people. I've always been a bit odd. I could elaborate but people would gnaw their arms off. Suffice it to say: I'm not sociopathic, I wasn't abused, and I'm not some weird person who goes out into the street wearing their pyjamas.

That said, the asbtract theory I have is that I have some sort of psychological "hypervisor" which acts to curtail emotion and perhaps the release of chemicals related to emotion. From this perspective all makes perfect sense. So in a way the MDMA showed me why MDMA doesn't work. At least, the euphoria part. But what I got was more valuable.

I shall report back if I get it to work. I can't be the only one!

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Thanks. I still feel.. discriminated against but it's nobody's fault. That's just.. how it is.. at least I don't get the comedowns, I suppose!

Actually, the best option is probably not to snort it. Based on re-reading what I wrote, it would be better to put maybe 400mg in a tall glass of coke and set a timer to go off every ten minutes. At which point I drink a little more. And so on, for a few hours. If that sounds terribly orchestrated and overcomplicated, it's because at a certain point my sense of time will pass, and I will forget.

That should keep it "dripping through" with a small "roll" every ten minutes or so.

There is an underlying irony in all of this. The introspection I was looking for is related to how I relate to other people. I've always been a bit odd. I could elaborate but people would gnaw their arms off. Suffice it to say: I'm not sociopathic, I wasn't abused, and I'm not some weird person who goes out into the street wearing their pyjamas.

That said, the asbtract theory I have is that I have some sort of psychological "hypervisor" which acts to curtail emotion and perhaps the release of chemicals related to emotion. From this perspective all makes perfect sense. So in a way the MDMA showed me why MDMA doesn't work. At least, the euphoria part. But what I got was more valuable.

I shall report back if I get it to work. I can't be the only one!

400mg is just far, far too much imo, and mdma is well known to work substantially better with a decent initial dose as opposed to drip feeding. Redoses just tend to prolong both the good feels and the unwanted side effects) and barely get you higher. It''s really all about the initial dose. Snorting is nowhere near as good an road as oral.

Truth be told, if 150mg (lets say 200 at an upper limit (but that's pushing it, 130 is often a truly sweet spot)
doesn't get you high af, rushing, empathic with intensely heightened sesnsory perception then either mdma does not work for you or it's terrible product)

Be grateful you haven't had a comedown - they called it 'suicide' Tuesday for a reason. Brutal.

 

[Matt1000]

400mg is just far, far too much imo, and mdma is well known to work substantially better with a decent initial dose as opposed to drip feeding. Redoses just tend to prolong both the good feels and the unwanted side effects) and barely get you higher. It''s really all about the initial dose. Snorting is nowhere near as good an road as oral.

Truth be told, if 150mg (lets say 200 at an upper limit (but that's pushing it, 130 is often a truly sweet spot)
doesn't get you high af, rushing, empathic with intensely heightened sesnsory perception then either mdma does not work for you or it's terrible product)

Be grateful you haven't had a comedown - they called it 'suicide' Tuesday for a reason. Brutal.

Tried this at the weekend. My reaction to the drug remains the opposite of the conventional wisdom. There's a "take-off" dose which is around 100mg and gives the 30 second loved-up feeling. So I drank about a third to start. The rest through the night. Redosing gives another (approx) 30 seconds. Repeatedly redosing like the above brings the wave on each time - not instantly but a little while later, maybe 10 - 15 minutes, and it's the same each time. There's a distinct start and end. Both are abrupt. Once it's gone, it's gone. Unless I put more in.

The introspective came about 36 hours after usage the last time. So it's not true to say the drug doesn't work, it just doesn't create euphoria. There's no (or very little) ecstasy. No comedown.

I listened to an audiobook about MDMA for the purposes of counselling and something stood out to me - "the only problem is that some people may become euphoric". I guess that, for this purpose, it works better on people like me.

Oh well. It just wan't meant to be. Still bitter about it Still. You don't know until you try