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May getting and/or staying sober thread v. May flowers

omen_owen mk2 said:
Well...60 hours since I last consumed any, I know there's probably loads still in my system =D
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I would go into withdrawal within that time frame - but yes it's still in your system.

I am proud of you though man because you have a positive mindset about this.

I had to withdrawal in private with very few medicinal aids and it was hellish for me.
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
24mg of methadone is still enough for a fucking hellish detox, if that much can keep you from using gear then thats great though. You can do some tapering from there if you want once you're stabilised and come off a sensibly small amount.
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Trust me I know... I was on it before, but I came off too fast, way too fast, and used three days after my last dose.

This run has been about six months, using a half gram to a gram a day depending on quality. I started on 30 mgs and dropped to 24 after a week. It keeps me from using, although I have cravings. Basically if I dose on an empty stomach at 9, it hits me at 10:30, I nod for a half hour, feel good for four or five hours, and then slowly start to feel less and less good. I can sleep though (although I wake up once or twice), so you know it can't be that bad. But I dont want to do another year and a half on methadone, you know? This saturday I'm dropping to 20 - the clinic I'm on lets you taper however you want, whenever you want. The best thing would be to go up to 45 and then drop down a mg a week. But I'm just not up for all that time on methadone. I can't do it again. So i'm trying to bite the bullet, and do just enough methadone so I dont use. I'm hoping to be off it within maybe a month and a half. Last time 13 mgs was when the real problems started for me - this awful feeling of bugs crawling on my feet that made it impossible to sleep without getting up every couple hours to stamp my feet on the ground to get it to go away.

Whatever, tho. Shouldn't have gotten back on the horse, should I :) I will get through this.
 
Holy shit guys and gals... its already May 30th. Time flies when you are having fun (this is fun right? Hard work but still fun : ) )

Anyways, I love today's Just For Today reflection:


May 30

Loneliness vs. being alone

“Sharing with others keeps us from feeling isolated and alone.”

Basic Text, p. 85

––––=––––

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely is a state of the heart, an emptiness that makes us feel sad and sometimes hopeless. Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships or surround ourselves with others. Some of us are lonely even in a room full of people.

Many of us came to Narcotics Anonymous out of the desperate loneliness of our addiction. After coming to meetings, we begin to make new friends, and often our feelings of loneliness ease. But many of us must contend with loneliness throughout our recovery.

What is the cure for loneliness? The best cure is to begin a relationship with a Higher Power that can help fill the emptiness of our heart. We find that when we have a belief in a Higher Power, we never have to feel lonely. We can be alone more comfortably when we have a conscious contact with a God of our understanding.

We often find deep fulfillment in our interactions with others as we progress in our recovery. Yet we also find that, the closer we draw to our Higher Power, the less we need to surround ourselves with others. We begin to find a spirit within us that is our constant companion as we continue to explore and deepen our connection with a Power greater than ourselves. We realize we are spiritually connected with something bigger than we are.

––––=––––

Just for today: I will take comfort in my conscious contact with a Higher Power. I am never alone.

Copyright © 1991-2014 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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I should mention, I have been told by three people in the last two days that I am "very outgoing". First time for everything I guess. I will take it.
 
Just A Guy said:
You know, I was out there with the kids; drove an hour east to get past cloud-cover and light pollution; waited and waited. It was a dud. But hanging with the kids during the ride...or rather one kid since the others fell asleep, was pretty fucking enjoyable.
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I know I went out and saw like six.. Oh Well it could have been amazing and then we would have been there. :\

Nice work by everyone!!
I rolling along nicely for awhile:)
 
Watching two guys get busted for drugs on my front lawn right now... I have to admit I totally ran down to buy an ice cream from the truck in order to get a better view. Glad I do not put myself at that risk anymore.
 
^^ I've been "busted" and let go without charges FAR too many times and have no idea why I've been so lucky. I've been caught in the middle of selling weed, I've been caught buying drugs, caught shooting up in public, and caught for random possession cause I got searched randomly. I've been pulled over with pounds of weed and ounces of hash and oil, and fairly large amounts of heorin in the car and somehow gotten out of searches. All of this, multiple times each scenario, and no official charges on my record whatsoever. I don't know how the fuck I've been so lucky, all I know is I don't ever want to test that luck anymore.
 
Up for work early today, slept okay. Wellbutrin makes sleep difficult the first few days. Just as I am writing this I realize I do not have to be at work till noon (its tomorrow I have to wake up early). I work at an Outdoor store on weekends occasionally just to make a little cash.

Where I am at:

I have had problems with getting paid at both jobs. This caused me anxiety. What would I have done in the past?: Used it as an excuse to use. What I did yesterday: Called up both jobs, told them my expectations and what the consequences would be if they were not followed. Then told each that they had to provide at least some money in advance because I have bills to pay. Felt much better after that. Still not happy because I cannot go food shopping but oh well.

One job also told me that I would be doing something today that they did not train me for, nor was I qualified for yet. Plus I know the equipment is slightly faulty (tail light out) and I do not know route they wanted to send me on (by myself I might add). What would I have done in the past: Said "okay" and flipped and freaked out to the point that I had to use. Would have woken up today in a massive drug/alcohol induced hangover anxiety attack. Oh yeah, I still would have had to do the untrained task but in a worse shape. Insane to think I did that all the time for YEARS.

What I did yesterday: Said, "To be honest, I am uncomfortable with the task and am currently not trained for it. I was told this would be provided but it hasn't been yet. In the interests of safety for myself and the customers I just cannot accept the task. I am more then willing to learn, but at this point I simply cannot risk myself and others like that."

"Okay, you are right. Also, I will bring you an advanced check Saturday".

Honesty really is often the best policy.

Setting boundaries and standing up for yourself is key. Doing so respectfully often results in an agreeable solution for both parties.
 
CaseFace said:
^^ I've been "busted" and let go without charges FAR too many times and have no idea why I've been so lucky. I've been caught in the middle of selling weed, I've been caught buying drugs, caught shooting up in public, and caught for random possession cause I got searched randomly. I've been pulled over with pounds of weed and ounces of hash and oil, and fairly large amounts of heorin in the car and somehow gotten out of searches. All of this, multiple times each scenario, and no official charges on my record whatsoever. I don't know how the fuck I've been so lucky, all I know is I don't ever want to test that luck anymore.
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I know what you mean looking back when clear headed you realize the sticky situations you put yourself in all the time in order to do drugs the driving past the drug house to check for cops before going in, driving arpund with a kilo or 2 of heroin and cocaine in behind my seat praying a cop doesn't pull you over and there's the drug deals in public places that can get pretty sketchy especially with some paranoid people who make things worse by acting all weird and looking all bug eyed and crazy cause there nervous.
I've been given tickets for driving with no seatbealt etc. (Yes I know its dumb but I was high all the time) while I have a whole SHIT load of dope and hash in the car and the cops just ended up saying have a good day and here's your 200 dollar ticket if only he knew he could make a big drug bust I still hated the cop cause of his additude but was thankful he only got me with a ticket when I could've been in jail.
 
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