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March staying clean thread

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rx_prn said:
That is amazing <3 I love reading stories of success, it motivates me and reinforces that I am able to do it too. It's also great to hear you're feeling the way you did before you started to use- that in itself is a great feeling!




Congratulations on your 40 days clean! Abstinence is the route I am going also. Like I have mentioned previously, I am an all or nothing type of person, so if I want to do something I have to do it 100%. Living a healthy lifestyle is such a reward <3

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Thank you! Im the exact same way, I've lied to myself for so long saying that I can just smoke pot and be fine, but eventually I always end up right back where I was before, shooting dope and selling drugs. It definitely is, I feel so much better physically,mentally,emotionally and spiritually. I cant wait to see what the future holds, things are amazing now but I know theres still so much room for growth.
 
Reading since my latest post up above, I lost track of who I was all congratulating (which is a good thing!), but congrats to you all! I love everyone here.

relative to me is the quitting tobacco @ neversickanymore

seeing as you have already done it before, you're accustomed to more than likely sleeping 14 hours a day and eating your weight in whatever you can find. I say do it up! The one good thing about quitting tobacco is that it is all mental. Good luck to you and good luck to everyone!
 
St Patrick's Day was a success! My corned beef and cabbage turned out great and I made a few cool green parfaits for dessert.

Cooking was a former love of mine that was kidnapped by my addiction. Good to know I haven't lost the knack!

And my heartfelt support going out to those trying to kick the nicotene habit. It took me a couple of years but I have been smoke free for 4 years now and I am SO grateful I gave them up. When I was deep in my habit I just have soon cut off my right arm than to be stuck without cigs. I loved smoking! Whenever I made it known I was quitting, everyone prepared for the endless bumming that was sure to come. Either way, I got to the point where enough is enough, and if I could quit I damned sure know that anyone can. The urges fade a LOT, not that there is the occasional temptation, but nothing like the cravings I had when I first quit. BEAT THAT SHIT, you will feel better and save a shitload of money.

In short, HANG IN THERE PEOPLE!

Peace,

C.
 
So so happy to hear that, C!!

I'm still going strong off opiates, but I've been eating like double my body weight now to keep the cravings at bay lol. :/
 
rx_prn said:
So so happy to hear that, C!!

I'm still going strong off opiates, but I've been eating like double my body weight now to keep the cravings at bay lol. :/
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^ It's OK to eat more because opiates repress eating; I can barely eat enough food on buprenorphine, and I lost a lot of weight when I was addicted to heroin.

If you feel like you're gaining some weight, don't worry about how much you're eating as long as it's a healthy, well balanced diet; instead, just increase activity/exercise. That's the most healthy way to deal with your metabolism, because not eating enough leads to a slower metabolism, which isn't good.
 
Way to go CrazyC!

Still going here, I thought I would start to get over the acute w/d's in a couple of weeks, but as it turns out I am still paying the piper.
RLS, insomnia, irritability and a general sense of nervous system malaise are the main symptoms, pain is there too.
It's a bit unnerving not seeing the end of the tunnel yet, I know it's there somewhere.

Day 20.
 
CrazyC said:
St Patrick's Day was a success! My corned beef and cabbage turned out great and I made a few cool green parfaits for dessert.

Cooking was a former love of mine that was kidnapped by my addiction. Good to know I haven't lost the knack!

And my heartfelt support going out to those trying to kick the nicotene habit. It took me a couple of years but I have been smoke free for 4 years now and I am SO grateful I gave them up. When I was deep in my habit I just have soon cut off my right arm than to be stuck without cigs. I loved smoking! Whenever I made it known I was quitting, everyone prepared for the endless bumming that was sure to come. Either way, I got to the point where enough is enough, and if I could quit I damned sure know that anyone can. The urges fade a LOT, not that there is the occasional temptation, but nothing like the cravings I had when I first quit. BEAT THAT SHIT, you will feel better and save a shitload of money.

In short, HANG IN THERE PEOPLE!

Peace,

C.
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The old joke goes: What is the difference between cigarettes and crack? People quit crack! What is the difference between cigarettes and heroin? People quit heroin first, its easier. <-- Bit of truth in that. I'm day 7 of withdrawal from morphine -- quit smoking at the same time -- its not opiates that I am craving, its a bloody @($U&@$ cigarette. Even though it was my least favorite of anything I did, the cravings for it are stronger than the cravings for anything else. Yet, they are less now than they were days 1-3; so I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. The real test for that comes when I have to bury myself back into biochemistry, and start cranking out 20 page papers every week (which will be in 2 days or so max).


Happy to see others are trying to climb their way out. Its easy to get into hell, the gates of hell are always open. The trick is climbing your way back out. The physical things are not so difficult for me, its the mental side of it. Right now its manifested as a lack of interest in nearly everything, a general sense of boredom even with things that I formerly loved, and a wish to turn the lights out and go back to bed for awhile. I know this will pass, and it will just become another hazy reminder of why not to crack open the gates of hell, but it is for the time being rather unpleasant.
 
Hey guys,

I posted over in Ecstasy Discussion because that's what I've been dealing with quitting (and where I got a lot of good info on how to quit and properly recover your brain and body) and was recommended to post in The Dark Side as well. This thread caught my eye first. If you don't want to go read my thread, I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version here. I didn't take drugs or drink alcohol until college. Once I did, it didn't take long to broaden my psychoactive horizons and I was drinking, smoking weed, snorting cocaine, you name it. Got real bad into coke, was injecting and nearly overdosed (and not one of those "my heart's beating too fast I think I did too much!" times that you think is an OD but really isn't) which drove me to quit using needles altogether. Anyhow, I soon replaced coke with Molly as my drug of choice. A quarter of the price but over nine thousand times the high? Sold! Well, after a couple of years of doing Molly on a nearly-weekly basis I was starting to feel like something was "off" in my head. I just couldn't sit there and think like I normally could. I described it in my thread as living my life, but not participating in it. Got real complacent, lost a lot of my virtues. It was bad. Then I found Bluelight and started reading threads in ED. Started applying the tips I learned there and am proud to say I am only days away from being six months clean from Molly or anything like it. Even managed to quit cigarettes along the way.

So that's my story. Just wanted to introduce myself. I will try to post here more often, I only recently signed up after lurking for a while. If anyone would like tips on what I've been doing to stay away from Molly or just general quitting encouragement I'd be happy to help out.
 
Timber said:
The old joke goes: What is the difference between cigarettes and crack? People quit crack! What is the difference between cigarettes and heroin? People quit heroin first, its easier. <-- Bit of truth in that. I'm day 7 of withdrawal from morphine -- quit smoking at the same time -- its not opiates that I am craving, its a bloody @($U&@$ cigarette. Even though it was my least favorite of anything I did, the cravings for it are stronger than the cravings for anything else. Yet, they are less now than they were days 1-3; so I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. The real test for that comes when I have to bury myself back into biochemistry, and start cranking out 20 page papers every week (which will be in 2 days or so max).


Happy to see others are trying to climb their way out. Its easy to get into hell, the gates of hell are always open. The trick is climbing your way back out. The physical things are not so difficult for me, its the mental side of it. Right now its manifested as a lack of interest in nearly everything, a general sense of boredom even with things that I formerly loved, and a wish to turn the lights out and go back to bed for awhile. I know this will pass, and it will just become another hazy reminder of why not to crack open the gates of hell, but it is for the time being rather unpleasant.
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LoL about the nicotine jokes, kinda cringing on the inside since friday my quit day is almost here.. made it five weeks shortly after quitting a huge opiate habit, JonesD for cigs something fierce, then it gave up on that after five weeks and I started to jnz for the opiates like I was jnzing for the cigs or maybe harder.. anyway abandoned my nicotine detox in the name of gettn off all the other shit.. glad to see you are doing good. Hang in there on the cigs.. should be out of the wood with the morphine as its half life is sooo short. please keep us posted, and me I need to know its possible with the cigs, WELCOME TO BL:D

ns is doing pretty damn good today
 
Brobi-Wan Kenobi, Timber, welcome aboard. :)

Timber, compared to the drugs I've quit, and the booze I'm trying to quit, I know it'll be nicotine I'll struggle hardest with. My doc wouldn't even entertain me trying to quit smoking at the same time as quitting the booze, would give me no help whatsoever. I was quite pissed off at the time but can kinda see the logic now, think I would have been an even bigger bundle of stress than I was, good chance I'd have bailed on both. Quitting one drug is hard enough, so respect on getting to day seven with two. Good going, I wish you well. You over the worst of the withdrawal by now BTW?

Neversickanymore, what you planning on using to help you quit? Think I'll go down the champix route when I eventually get round to it, though it's on hold a little while longer just yet. Truth is I don't really wanna stop, in defiance of all logic, and that's what's gonna make it so hard but needs must I guess.

Anyways, day 19, no booze. Not craving at all really. Have to keep reminding myself to take the antabuse, I forget so easily when it's so plain sailing and that's what leaves the door open for a relapse. Get to day three or four without taking it and suddenly this little voice pipes up out of nowhere that I might get away with a cheeky one, and that's what reminds me. Must be on my guard against that, it's addict mind doing it's tricksy thing I think, this 'forgetting' thing. Almost unconsciously deliberate perhaps.
 
I don't know Sepher.. not the damn patch, until maybe the end.. when i made it five months w o nicotine at all i used the lozenges for a mounth before i gave those up too, yeah they worked good just swallowed them at first.. Ha, that sounds so ridiculous right now but Saturday morning, that will sound ok if not extreme enough... I don't know have heard some chantix nuttiness.. whats the action of that drug??

Hey congrats on the booze, st.p day is done.. there are so many thongs that are hard about staying off that one, rite not the least is that it is everywhere and advertised, cheap, ect.. yeah.. way to go.. i Hope the struggle dies down for us.. seems to be sticking around for awhile for me..
 
Just dropping in to say you're all doing great and we can do this together!! <3 <3 <3 <3
 
^^Try and come up with a list of all the things you have ever loved, maybe even go way back to the crazy stuff you loved as a young kid.. if you can do this then look down the list and pick one and do it, even if its crazy, I mean think of the crazy shit we would do every day.. try and get roling a little more each day.. make a plan the night before to do something, doesn't have to be huge, just something, like tomorrow i will go to the theater and see the ----- movie, stick to the plan the next day. it gets way easier. Your doing great.



sir neversickanymore i can see ur every words in my situation

actually yesterday am download a rpg game that i used to love it back in 2000 maybe 2001 and its made me happier than u cant imagine I LOVE TO LIVE DRUG FREE .
 
Quitting cigarettes was real hard for me. I didn't get into cigarettes until I was 19, but smoked them every day until right before Christmas last year. I was almost two months into Molly recovery then and like most other people that have tried to quit everything at once, just couldn't do it. If something was to be kept, it was cigs. Found out my granddad was coming over for Christmas and this guy thinks it's 1953 rather than 2013 so I knew I'd be in for a lecture if I reeked of smoke and had a pack in my possession. Anti-odor'd the fuck out of my car beforehand too in case he got in for any reason. He stuck around until the day before New Year's Eve so I pretty much went without smoking for eight straight days.

Plus I kind of relaxed on being responsible when I was using drugs so I had a number of debts to pay off and finally had the desire to actually make the damn payments. So money's kind of tight right now and it's basically cigarettes or a fully stocked fridge. I chose the fridge after years of making that decision in the opposite direction. There are less instant gratification benefits when you quit smoking but after a while you start to get your health back. I'm not even at three months and already my sense of smell is back to normal and I can tell I have a much better lung capacity because I'm not in fucking Flavor Country when I go for a jog.

I'll offer this one although it's not much. What helped me out a lot in the first couple of weeks was applying my love of video games to quitting cigs. I told myself for each day that I don't smoke, I earn a point. The object of the game is to have the highest score and all my smoker friends are stuck at zero until they quit too. It's simple enough but it worked for me.
 
Space Firebird said:
Way to go CrazyC!

Still going here, I thought I would start to get over the acute w/d's in a couple of weeks, but as it turns out I am still paying the piper.
RLS, insomnia, irritability and a general sense of nervous system malaise are the main symptoms, pain is there too.
It's a bit unnerving not seeing the end of the tunnel yet, I know it's there somewhere.

Day 20.
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I am SO sorry you are struggling, Firebird..insomnia is THE WORST part of WDs for me, made worse by the fact that there is not a damned OTC med that touches mine. When I am lying there trying to sleep, that is when the anxiety and nervousness go round and round. Please hang in there, there will be a day when you wake up and think "wow, I slept through a whole night" and that is THE BEST feeling in the world.

Peace and strength to you,

C.
 
Well I fucked up. This past friday I found a open suboxone wrapper that I hadn't seen before while rummaging around trying to find some subs, and there was about 6mg in it. I immediately said to my self that I should take it, that I'm gonna hate myself if I do, and what do you know once I ran out I was soooo fucking pissed with myself. I'm starting to WD once again, and am on day 2 instead of day 17. I got myself a bottle of 96 loperamide and a bottle of DXM, so I took ~20mg of loperamide and ~140mg of DXM (I have a heavy NMDA antagonist tolerance so it should not give me really any psychotropic effects). I gotta quit for real this time. Not surprised that I relapsed for a few days, cuz if there are opioids about, its beyond easy to say fuck it, I just want to feel good. I was hoping the WD wouldn't be as bad since i only had 6 mg over 3.5 days, but it feels like I'm completely starting over. Still.. At this moment I'm craving a nice shot of heroin, or a few oxys (fucking even some codeine).
 
Sepher said:
Brobi-Wan Kenobi, Timber, welcome aboard. :)

Timber, compared to the drugs I've quit, and the booze I'm trying to quit, I know it'll be nicotine I'll struggle hardest with. My doc wouldn't even entertain me trying to quit smoking at the same time as quitting the booze, would give me no help whatsoever. I was quite pissed off at the time but can kinda see the logic now, think I would have been an even bigger bundle of stress than I was, good chance I'd have bailed on both. Quitting one drug is hard enough, so respect on getting to day seven with two. Good going, I wish you well. You over the worst of the withdrawal by now BTW?

Neversickanymore, what you planning on using to help you quit? Think I'll go down the champix route when I eventually get round to it, though it's on hold a little while longer just yet. Truth is I don't really wanna stop, in defiance of all logic, and that's what's gonna make it so hard but needs must I guess.

Anyways, day 19, no booze. Not craving at all really. Have to keep reminding myself to take the antabuse, I forget so easily when it's so plain sailing and that's what leaves the door open for a relapse. Get to day three or four without taking it and suddenly this little voice pipes up out of nowhere that I might get away with a cheeky one, and that's what reminds me. Must be on my guard against that, it's addict mind doing it's tricksy thing I think, this 'forgetting' thing. Almost unconsciously deliberate perhaps.
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The nicotine thing is a PITA, and your doctor did you a favor. Some stuff like Chantix or Wellbutrin plus having quit alcohol would have pushed your body into possible seizure risk. The only way you would have done that was maybe lozenges (which just gets you into a new habit with it -- those things will absolutely wreck your teeth if you keep using them any length of time. I learned this from about 10 unsuccessful nicotine quit attempts.) or to just go cold turkey with it. Tweaked out, and climbing the walls is most likely how you would have felt. Day 19 is a pretty big deal without booze. I've seen enough people go down that road when I played music for a living, and it is not an easy place to come out of.

Yes, I'm doing "okay" at the moment. Its day ... 8, well, technically day 9 since its after 2pm with no opiates, and one smoke in the middle of all of it. I didn't even ask the person for a smoke; I just took one. ha It didn't help though. I just wanted another one immediately after, and didn't get any relief from it. On the opiate side of things: my GI is still a bit upset (its minor now rather than the major ordeal it was in the beginning), I have no interest or motivation in much of anything, but the leg kicks, nausea, and everything else is pretty much back to normal. Surprisingly I am not in that much pain at the moment; my resolve will get tested when the next wave of spinal pain hits, but I'll cross that when I get there. I've come down dramatically in dose on the gabapentin as I didn't want to stop it all at once due to seizure risks and only took it this morning rather than the around the clock I have been doing. I'm still taking loperamide, but its 2 tablets today so far and I'll try to do without it.

I'm not drug free in the sense that I'm still taking carisoprodol to keep my back from tensing up enough to send me into spine pain, but that and NSAIDS are pretty much all there is that is left. I'll give it some time to see where my pain levels are at when my body starts making its own endorphins again before I make any serious changes to whatever will be left for pain management. I went for a good walk this morning, and while it didn't help with any of the mood side of things -- I did at least not hate it. I certainly had a bit more energy after. Small victories, one day at a time. I still haven't been able to interest myself in biochemistry homework, but I know not to wait too much longer on it or I'll dig myself a hole, and that makes stress.
 
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I take one thing back... The restless legs and kicking is not entirely gone. After I dropped the gabapentin dose down I discovered I still have them, and will end up having to take it for a few more days (maybe). Its a minor issue, but keeping me awake for a few hours longer than I would like.

I guess 12 years of using opiates around the clock is not going to have my body restored in a mere 9 days. (It was 10-11 the last time before I felt right).
 
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