Man Steals Pharmacy Drugs After Hiding In Ceiling

Somebody get that damned cat! He's been lingering in a barn in the Ozarks chasing pussy and binging on catnip. We gota bring him out of retirement for this job. I hear he's put on a lot of weight but he should still have his Game intact.

We have an insider as well - frocked-lady#2 who will lick the medicine cabinet in order to wipe away our finger prints. She will also poison her colleagues with muskol.
 
bOrPaIdAlTeEyS said:
great idea!! if everyone was innovative like this guy drugs would be a lot less expensive!!
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Heheh... I was thinking the same thing ('holy shit, that's a good idea'). But I'd neither be brave nor foolhardy enough to try something like that, at least these days... catch me back in 1987, after I'd quit a pharmacy job and was hurtin' and things might have been different...
 
xxanxxtwo said:
And dammit, why isn't ceiling cat involved in this??!!
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phamcatcd1.jpg
 
What is it that seperates the regular from the truely bold. To have a pair of nuts big enough to do more than dream. He auctually did it. A few times. At my CVS, the 500 count bottles of hydrocodone are literally 7 feet from the register. Like 40 bottles.

This man dared to dream.

edit: Well, we all know schedule II medications are federally mandated to be under lock and key. I am just talking about the bottles I could get, if i had the pair, even if the pharmacist looked the other way.
 
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Hydrocodone?? I guess I'd take it if there were no benzos, fentynal, or oxycontins available...
 
Ceiling Cat won't bother working with small-timers like us. We need the next best thing: Pharmaceutical Bulldog. He eats pharmacists and shits out various forms of morphine. (please someone make a photoshop image of this)
 
ceiling cat already told me he's down. It's more of a pity help, but whatever, ceiling cat is down.
 
(I can't help but find it hilarious that out of the last 2 pages, this has evolved into a half-assed pseudo heist plan! Classic!)
 
And who do you have to thank for that...? Yes, moi. Exactly. The King of non-existent joke-heists. "ControlDenied", otherwise known as Colonel Drugtown. The worst fiend ever and the scourge of many a BL mod's wetdream! In fact they don't even know this thread exists; it's like some kind of hallucinatory drama that plays out pointlessly underneath a secretary's desk.
 
bingalpaws said:
(I can't help but find it hilarious that out of the last 2 pages, this has evolved into a half-assed pseudo heist plan! Classic!)
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Yeah, I figured we could use a little bit of lighthearted conversation. And how could you go wrong with ceiling cat and a failed pharmacy burglary?
 
Hm...we can take those pipettes... and JAB the clerk in the chest with them! While he fumbles we STRIP naked and climb over the counter. No one will notice! It's fucking brilliant. We'll make at least 10 dollars. (but that'll be after the heist at an unknown time/place).
 
ControlDenied said:
Hm...we can take those pipettes... and JAB the clerk in the chest with them! While he fumbles we STRIP naked and climb over the counter. No one will notice! It's fucking brilliant. We'll make at least 10 dollars. (but that'll be after the heist at an unknown time/place).
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whoa whoa!!!! You would honestly hurt another person to get prescription meds? I hope that was a joke! Getting yourself high isn't a valid reason for causing someone else pain!
 
We'll jab himself softly - in an affectionate manner! Don't worry. I have this planned perfectly.

You know what's really sad about this heist? I don't even have access to narcotics from illegal sources. I'm a junky who doesn't even get high on narcotics!
 
I haven't used a real opiate (used codeine once..) in over 6 months lol. And my total lifetime consumption would last a true junkie for like a day or two. Fantasies are still fun tho!
 
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