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  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

making a bet with an eight year old

atlas said:
I would have handed his 20 dollars back to him as soon as he forked it over. You're taking his mother's money, not his.
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bingo, if it's about helping the kid, and not the money, this is the route to go.
 
Um, when someone only has $150, $20 is quite a big chunk of that. $20 to you would be nothing but to him it's money he's tried really hard to save.

If I was you I would have offered $20 if he won but made him do some chore or something if he lost.

I think this idea is a good one in theory and I do agree that the kid knew what he was getting into - but at the same time it doesn't sit right. If I was the mother I wouldn't have called you in a rage but I doubt I would have been happy about it because it still does look like you're swindling the kid!
 
How is money earned through chores and recieved as a gift his parents money and not his? Parents don't own their children ya know.

I think you all are missing that fact that if he would have not eaten sugar, I would have been the one paying him (I did this successfully twice when I was his age..). To this end, he actually had three seperate opportunities to do so and caved every time.

This is about addiction and responsibility. I may not have effected his thinking about sugar, but its guaranteed that he'll think twice next time he enters into an agreement with someone. Also, $20 is far from a lot of money in upper middle class american culture. I'm even allowing him to earn the money back at $7 per hour (what I make watching him) if he cleans my truck etc.

I personally think ya'll are cutting this kid way too much slack (a common problem in society if you ask me). My grandma had to burry her dead baby brother (by herself) when she was 8. In other countries, 8 year olds work 12 hour days 7 days a week. I know these are extreme examples, but I'm just trying to illustrate the complex intellect of an 8 year old.

Maybe a hard lesson learned, but an extremely valuable one none the less.
 
I can't believe you took $20 away from a 8 year old, $20 is a lot of money for a 8 year, he probably cryed to his mom, thats why the mom called. Anyway give the money back to the kid.
 
It absolutely astounds me that this kid has the gaul to teach this kid 'life lessons' by not letting him eat CANDY. Kid eat candy, always. Thats like asking me to not smoke weed, drink booze, and snort coke - yeah, it just AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. It's like air.
 
As someoone who sympathizes with both sides here, I think it boils down to:

Kid trying to stop kid from gorging himself on candy. Common problem...one easily fixed through a little willpower. Once you go for a month without gummi bears you don't want them constantly anymore. they become a treat, not a requirement.

Althoguh the wager was a bit steep, now the kid learned, and the kid's still getting his money back. Good deal if you ask me....and the kid knows how hard it is, and can try stopping himself. Give an 8 year old incentive to do something and they will.

Although try a positive reward instead...and work up bigger. Start with an offer to do something fun like rent his favorite movie if he lasts a week. Two weeks, take him someplace else slightly more expensive (the zoo?) and at a month, try something really big. And get the parent's support here and get mumsy dearest to help you pay. I offered to take the kids I used to watch to six flags if they behaved well for a whole month. Sure 'nuff they did.
 
next time up the bet to 150

he'll stop eating sugar.

you're doing the right thing, if you gave him the money back he'd never learn consequences. if you fuck up, you pay for it. you successfully taught him that

now you're also doing the right thing, make him earn the money back (don't tell him you're giving him his money back) by working a job. you're teaching him responsibility

your next lesson (this is a tough one) is to beat his ass and rob him for the 150, this will teach him don't trust anybody, and as a reward, go get high on his money.
 
Give the money back to his mum rather than him. As someone said, you're taking the mum's money rather than his.
 
Go buy the healthfood if you care about the kid's welfare.

Alternatively, especially if you don't NEED the babysitting work with this family for your future income, keep the money just to make a point (it IS yours now) and tell the mother to go get a new babysitter.

Her way of dealing with you is unacceptable. On top of that I think she's inconsistent and will fuck her kid up in thelong run like this. Continuing babysitting there doesn't soudn like a conflict-free zone to me. Fuck parents like that, I think they're to blame for the spoilt brats they get. Well, from what you're saying it sounds like that anyway.
 
You people are fucking unreal. It amazes me just how stupid [edited] people can actually get. As if a kid can control an addiction to anything at that age. He probably still can't control his bladder whilst he sleeps. Sort your life out, man and make some bets with adults that actually have a chance. On the other hand, you could just mug the poor bastard next time, to save some time.



*THR: Edited - no need for that reference.
 
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Treacle said:
It amazes me just how stupid American people can actually get.
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Yeah, stupid americans. I mean there's no stupid people anywhere else, its just because he happens to live in the US. 8(
 
i'm very strict about my child's food intake and for good reason. i have a niece and nephew that eat nothing but junk food all damn day long and it absolutly disgusts me. my newphew is going to be 4 and he has so many cavities he can barely eat yet his parents continue to let him much on cookies, candy, ice cream, etc. why? because he whines about it. everytime i see them, they have a piece of candy in their mouth and soda in their cups and they wonder why those children bounce off the walls, they're destructive and they're outright brats! 8( 8)

yes, i eat unhealthy food but i'm an adult that can make decisions for myself. i don't understand why parents would ruin their kids' health before they even get a chance to decide for themselves. of course a kid is going to accept a piece of candy or bowl of ice cream, they're fuckin delicious. the parent is the one who should take responsibility and give their kid(s) what they NEED, not what they want and if they start early, it will be MUCH easier to maintain than if they have to break them of a habit.

good on you for teaching the kid to not only be healthy but to also learn responsibility.

and for those who are saying give the money back, he is. he's letting the kid earn the money by offering to pay him $7/hr for cleaning his truck. how many 8 year olds do you know can clean a truck in 2 hrs or less? hell, i can't even clean (washing, drying, interior cleaning, windows) my small toyota corolla in that amount of time but i could just be really slow ;)
 
I'd have a problem with taking money from an 8-year-old and I'd have a problem with any adult taking money from my 8-year-old.

If you're set on teaching him about the consequences of losing a bet and don't want to cave and give him his money back, give it to his mother instead. I'm not saying that what you're attempting to do is a bad idea, I just think it's a bad idea if it's someone else's kid.
 
I probably should have told ya'll that I told the mother about the bet while it was going on. I guess she wasn't listening or something because she said it sounded like a good idea.

Also, the reason she was mad was because the kid walked up and said, "mehm made me give him 20 dollars because I ate sugar." To her, it sounded like I arbitrarily made him give me money because he ate sugar (at this point I guess she forgot about the bet). When I reminded her of the bet and that she said it was ok..she appologized and had no problem with it..accept to not make another bet for money.

For all of the people saying I should go buy health food, isn't that the mom's job? What is the point of winning a bet if you turn around and spend the money on the person you won it from? That certainly wouldn't mirror the "real world" at all.

I doubt I'll do anything like this again though. The kid kid is eating just as much sugar as usual, he bounces off the walls, smacks his sister for no reason, his stutter is getting worse, his teeth are rotting, yet his mom decided to make the family THREE birthday cakes to graze on for her own birthday.

I guess the moral of the story is that one can't change a situation unless it wants to be changed.
 
Mehm said:
For all of the people saying I should go buy health food, isn't that the mom's job? What is the point of winning a bet if you turn around and spend the money on the person you won it from? That certainly wouldn't mirror the "real world" at all.
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It's also the mother's job to raise the child, not you. You're a babysitter and I can't really understand why you've taken it upon yourself to teach the kid a lesson.... are you jealous? Were you denied candy as a child?
 
^^You must have missed the part where I said that the mom absent mindedly approved of the bet. To this end, I would be a shitty sitter if all I did was make sure the kids don't hurt themselves. Part of my job description is to teach, not just supervise.

Plus, I'm not going to sit back and let some poor kid get himself into real trouble later in life by making a bad deal with someone and regretting it.

>>are you jealous? Were you denied candy as a child?>>

No, I ate my fair share.

btw, if I was your babysitter, I'd happily take your $20 too..damn sugar addicts ;)
 
More than anything, I want him to learn the importance of taking responsibility for one's own actions.
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The kid is only eight. He'll have plenty of time to learn about responsiblity. Right now, the most important thing is him learning right and wrong, good and bad.
But you also seem to have suggested that the kid takes money for granted. Thats a wrong attitude to have since his parents work hard for that money. So if you can help hime in seeing that money desn't grow on trees, that would be better.
I think that its great that you were looking out for the kid. But it didn't turn out right, cuz the kid is still eating a lot of sugar.
 
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