I jumped ship from the dope game and got on methadone about a week ago. I should have done this years ago. I don't plan to stay on 'done forever but coupled with one-on-one counseling, and two small men's groups that focus on substance abuse, I'm feeling more positive and empowered than I ever have. The methadone is getting me so nice, so the addict in me had to try one particular combination, while staying away from the classic cocktails, etc. I did dose once and ate phenergran, causing a black out and hallucinations. I was having conversations with people in my head, but I was speaking out loud and regurgitating all the nonsense that was going on inwardly.
I usually dose while taking another prescribed medication, which I take anywhere between 2 to 4 days during the span of a full week. I'm currently on the combination and it just destroyed me. I'm nodding off unbelievably hard, sitting here at the computer, slumping over, with my forehead hitting keyboard. Holding down a series of keys that trail off like "fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888eeeeeee" or something.
I haven't been this good in literally 2 years. I'm listening to music and now I'm starting to get extremely turned up right now. People say this effect will eventually wear off but that I'll still noticeably feel my dose.
Whatever, I'm not taking this for the high, but an opioid glow is both anticipated and appreciated because I like the energy and anti-depressant qualities opioids give me.
I'm doing this to save my life, but I will say, technically I am high, and that's just a wonderful added bonus, and something I feel the opioid addict has most definitely earned, making the decision to part with his opioid D.O.C. and going on a medication that keeps you dependent and is infamous for it's difficult withdrawal symptoms. You can medically taper down, unlike when you're shooting dope out there on the street. I put my faith in the clinic that it will make me as comfortable and safe when that time comes to get off the clinic.
For now, I'm enjoying the ride while also digging deep to remain vigilant in my fight to stop shooting heroin.
I love heroin but we just make a really chaotic team...