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lying partners

sonicteamaajm

sonicteamaajm

Bluelighter
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
238
Location
UK, South East
Lying is most definitely the worst thing one can do in a relationship. I'm curious as to what some of you have lied about to your partner(s) and why.

I asked my gf a while ago how often she masturbated before we became an item as i was curious and her answer was - "I've never done it before".

I believe her, but that just seems pretty odd to me. Surely she wouldnt lie about something so trivial? My gf is 24 btw.

What are your thoughts?
 
Just because she's 24 doesn't mean that she should masturbate, or that she should have at some point in her life. I'd say it's a little far fetched if she told you that she's never touched herself intimately, but not every woman masturbates. Why does it matter, anyway?
 
@Mysterie- She said she has no reason, just hasnt.

samnslumberland said:
Just because she's 24 doesn't mean that she should masturbate, or that she should have at some point in her life. I'd say it's a little far fetched if she told you that she's never touched herself intimately, but not every woman masturbates. Why does it matter, anyway?
Click to expand...

This was just a surprise to me thats all. I thought there must be quite the minority of people that don't. Im not bothered by it.
 
Honestly, not everyone masturbates. From what I know, it tends to be more females who don't masturbate. I mean, it's much easier for a guy to get himself off. For females? For a lot of us.... it's really difficult. So maybe she's tried a couple times, it doesn't work.... so what's the point? (I'm almost 24 so same age as your girlfriend) Honestly I think I was like 19 or 20 before masturbating actually worked for me. Plus I can't even do it without toys.

Also, how long were you two dating when you asked her that? Maybe, at that point, she was embarrassed. If it was only for a few months then a small lie like that could probably be excused. Little white lies in the beginning of a relationship, not a big deal. Some things may scare the other person away. But once you've been dating for a while, it's gotta be complete honestly. But if she's a bit embarrassed about sex and stuff then maybe it wasn't a good idea to ask her that.
 
it just seems strange to me that she would never experiment with masturbation at all?

seems like more than 99% of people with a sex drive and is heterosexual or homosexual, would experiment with masturbation after puberty is reached

maybe if they are raised by very religious parents it could explain it
 
it s not so uncommon for women not to experience masturbation, even if it seems strange to westernized people. its not the norm, but it may happen. With ment it is more straight forward, as things just happen, but with girls not so much. Her sexual needs mght be lower than normal or she had someone take care of them when she needed them. nothing too extravagant, for sure

however, back to Topic.
I have a mixed relationship with lying. I feel it may have a purpose in relationships, and people should just accept that everyone is lying a some point. And its probably for the best.
Im not talking here about the big things (like one being already married, or having some incurable disease), but the little things?
the little things people do lie about are not really important, nor should telling the truth about nonimportant things be held in such high esteem.
its how and why you decide to lie that is more important. avoiding an uncomfortable question might be ok, but accepting the answer and feeling free to discuss it is something liberating. So if you do tell the truth, tell it for yourself and not the good of the other person, or in the hope they may be lyng less as a consequence
 
I've dated people that lied and to me it was very obvious when they did, and while everyone does lie to some extent they would tell me one thing like a college or university they attended for graduate school, and then on another date they'd claim they went to a completely different school.

I never called them out on it but I just figured this person was not someone to trust and stopped dating them.

One of my ex's was big into lying but he's just like that, and I am no longer with him because of this and other reasons.
 
Drugs.
I've lied about drugs so much, and feel terrible about it.

I'm a heroin/other things addict. (Clean now)

Even though it was only about drugs there are trust issues with everything else.

Terrible mistake, but it's not like I have a time machine.
I'm really amazed that she stays with me after years of that BS.
 
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