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Lucid dreaming/sleep paralysis/astral projection

Are you using any psychoactive substances at all, including legal ones like tobacco? Cut it all out if you are. That should lessen the load, and then you can begin to use the energy salvaged to untangle the roots of the issues that various energies can latch on and provoke you with.

The last time I had experienced voices was one night over 10 years ago, after drinking whiskey. I awoke inside the astral space and could perceive a few balls of light, which seemed to be projecting (or least originating) extremely personal self-deprecating thoughts that were cloaked with my own 'voice'/thought. It was weird, because I was aware.. and I could feel this shit wasn't coming from me (me was witnessing it).

It's one of the reasons why I don't drink at all, and apart from green tea am completely clean. I can't say for sure how it all works, but all I know is that this shit doesn't bother me when I'm clean. That stuff is still there of course.. but when you're pure you have a certain inner vitality that seems to naturally repel it like a magnet if it gets close. The only other time I've struggled with sleep paralysis or sleep states was when I was very young and hadn't developed the mental maturity and self-security to naturally repel it.. as with a lot of young children who have nightmares.

Sleep paralysis shouldn't be difficult. It's a doorway experience. The fact you're becoming aware of it (again) suggests you are presenting yourself the opportunity to work through it, and whatever issues lay beneath. There's something in your waking life inevitably that is feeding the situation that needs some resolution.
Interesting, glad to hear from someone else who has successfully managed dealing with that kind of thing.

I don't drink anymore, but I occasionally smoke weed, and yeah nicotine products. I'm not completely abstinent from other drugs, do the occasional psychedelic, cocaine, MDMA, but really the only drug I take regularly is kratom.

I'm usually in pretty poor spirits due to the amount of pain I'm in pretty constantly, and trying to just go to work and deal with it, so idk, I'd be willing to bet that has something to do with a lot of my psychic woes. I've been trying to just keep things in perspective, value the things that I do have and try to just enjoy life on its own terms etc. but quite often I feel pretty helpless to make things better, and pretty powerless to improve things.

Thankfully, I haven't really been bothered by this since making this post, I've been sleeping a lot on the weekends, and it's been not very noteworthy, haven't been dreaming much or anything. So, I'm feeling a bit better regarding these things, but probably just because I have too many other struggles to get stuck on it.
 
I'm usually in pretty poor spirits due to the amount of pain I'm in pretty constantly, and trying to just go to work and deal with it, so idk, I'd be willing to bet that has something to do with a lot of my psychic woes. I've been trying to just keep things in perspective, value the things that I do have and try to just enjoy life on its own terms etc. but quite often I feel pretty helpless to make things better, and pretty powerless to improve things.
It's only my intuitive belief but I think we can hack that sort of suffering, though it may present itself in actual dreams. But the in between states, which is where sleep paralysis falls, has a different quality to it.. it's more open to outside influences, unlike dreams which are a sort of mental cocoon.

Trying to iron out the negative emotional reactions to perceptions, even due to physical pain, is a good idea though. I'm reading a book on Tibetan dream yoga at the moment, and it makes it quite clear that preparing yourself during the day is important if you wish to pursue the esoteric development stuff, but it's seems applicable as just good mental hygiene.

You could also try self-hypnosis and intention, particularly in the downtime preparing for sleep and right before you actually fall asleep (you're in a natural hypnotic state at that point and very receptive to your own commands).
 
Trying to iron out the negative emotional reactions to perceptions, even due to physical pain, is a good idea though. I'm reading a book on Tibetan dream yoga at the moment, and it makes it quite clear that preparing yourself during the day is important if you wish to pursue the esoteric development stuff, but it's seems applicable as just good mental hygiene.
What is the book called? I'd be interested in checking that out, dreams have always interested me since I was a kid watching like Freddy krueger and shit. I've always had a lot of weird shit with dreams, lots of recurring stuff, being able to fly, shit like that, but I'm not very well read with it, haven't taken an active interest in learning more about it.
 
"The Tibetan Yogas Of Dream And Sleep" by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche.

I'm trying to get back into lucid dreaming again at the moment so I pulled it off my shelf. If you're interested in lucid dreaming in particular the book "Lucid dreaming" by Robert Waggoner is good, I just finished reading that again. If you're interested in astral projection or the in between states then "Astral dynamics" by Robert Bruce has a lot of good information in it.
 
I had a fairly conscious brief lucid dream last night - first in a long time. It was a bit surprising though, because of the lack of surprise. It was just "Oh, I'm dreaming. OK, focus on the hands. Check! OK, let's levitate that pile of clothes 3ft off the floor. Check!".

Then proceeded to get side-swiped by instinct and try to manifest some smokin' hot woman, instead of working on other tasks I had planned. As in past experiences though it's like my unconscious resists these attempts and refuses to manifest anything. I was able to manifest a porn magazine though haha.

I used this technique of covering/revealing to manifest things e.g. open/close a cabinet draw to find the porn magazine, or cover/take off the duvet to reveal some hot woman. What was funny though was I literally got a message when I pulled off the duvet, it was this little Christmas card with two cherubs on the cover like the painting by Raphael. I couldn't discern the text inside except that it was from Xan or Xian.

EDIT: So I just googled Xian. I thought it might mean Christian, but I got the following which is pretty interesting:
In Taoism, "xian" (仙) refers to immortal beings who have attained immortality through spiritual self-cultivation, alchemy, or through worship.
The concept of xian has been interpreted differently by various Taoist schools, including the Quanzhen School, which sometimes used it to refer to good, principled people
Think the unconscious might be trying to tell me something lol.
 
The problem with the succubus-like creatures is that they inspire powerful libido, just for being there, so it's pretty difficult to avoid them altogether. Once you try to do something with them they morph into something/one you don't like or they create situations on which you feel bad, or most times, they create into you some kind of emotional disturbance that is enough to get you out of the lucid dream (and that's the specific point of their appearance).
I don't summon them, they just appear as "sent".
I've had numerous experiences where I will be dreaming about sexual situations or whatever, and I'll catch myself having the dream because simultaneously I would become aware of the effect on my physical body in bed.. like I know in the back of my mind if I go with it I'm going to physically nut and I can't be arsed dealing with the clean up lol. So I intentionally and abruptly abort the dream, but the dream scene vanishes before I wake up..

So I'm now aware in this space behind the dream so to speak. It only lasts a few seconds if that. And in that space I've caught the sensation of some succubus type entity. I can't see it, it's more a feeling than vision. But it feels like there are hundreds of protrusions, like a sea anemone, that are writhing into my mind space or something. It's really strange. And a few times I've 'grabbed' it somehow.. not with any appendage of my own, I don't know how to explain it, but the times I've grabbed it it feels like you've just grabbed a small animal.. it writhes and tries to retreat away.. but it doesn't feel like it has any great consciousness, kind of like a sea anemone.. but somehow has the ability to project (or perhaps cause us to initiate) sexual imagery in our minds and then feed off the results.

I used to have nightmares as a child (7-10) where these orbs of energy would torment me in the dream space, and it has similarities to that because eventually I got the courage to try confronting it.. I literally tried to grab them or confine them with objects in the dream.. and they would try to squirm away, with the same feeling as the succubus type entities described above.

My interpretation of it is that there are entities in the astral space (not the dream space), and that they can impinge or protrude into the mind of an individual, which when it occurs during REM sleep the mind projects qualities on the dream itself to represent it.. so it's like a hand (entity) pushing into a glove (mind/dream space). The thing in the dream, and perhaps even the astral space, is a human projection over the top of a real entity that is perhaps without form. My impression is that they're not particularly intelligent but somehow are able to 'see' our internal machinery as it were and push/pull certain levers to extract emotional or sexual energy or something, in the same way an ant milks aphids.. like it's a natural mechanism, not a demonic thing.
 
I think this is the key. I do agree with the ontology you show here (astral entities protuding the dream space). Not sure about the "natural mechanism" in opposition to "demonic", because what do you mean by "demonic"? there's not a single way of understanding demonic activity, in fact it could be totally "natural" but just operating in other planes of existence like gnostic people think about archons. Are archons "natural"? are their activity some kind of natural milking activity?what if hell is some of karmic way of "natural" parasitic entities that operate within that "dimension"? it's difficult to grasp the reality of all those things, just taking account our own little knowledge, let alone all humankind cultures and who knows what knowledge beyond ours....
My interpretation of it is that there are entities in the astral space (not the dream space), and that they can impinge or protrude into the mind of an individual, which when it occurs during REM sleep the mind projects qualities on the dream itself to represent it.. so it's like a hand (entity) pushing into a glove (mind/dream space). The thing in the dream, and perhaps even the astral space, is a human projection over the top of a real entity that is perhaps without form. My impression is that they're not particularly intelligent but somehow are able to 'see' our internal machinery as it were and push/pull certain levers to extract emotional or sexual energy or something, in the same way an ant milks aphids.. like it's a natural mechanism, not a demonic thing.
 
I've had numerous experiences where I will be dreaming about sexual situations or whatever, and I'll catch myself having the dream because simultaneously I would become aware of the effect on my physical body in bed.. like I know in the back of my mind if I go with it I'm going to physically nut and I can't be arsed dealing with the clean up lol. So I intentionally and abruptly abort the dream, but the dream scene vanishes before I wake up..

So I'm now aware in this space behind the dream so to speak. It only lasts a few seconds if that. And in that space I've caught the sensation of some succubus type entity. I can't see it, it's more a feeling than vision. But it feels like there are hundreds of protrusions, like a sea anemone, that are writhing into my mind space or something. It's really strange. And a few times I've 'grabbed' it somehow.. not with any appendage of my own, I don't know how to explain it, but the times I've grabbed it it feels like you've just grabbed a small animal.. it writhes and tries to retreat away.. but it doesn't feel like it has any great consciousness, kind of like a sea anemone.. but somehow has the ability to project (or perhaps cause us to initiate) sexual imagery in our minds and then feed off the results.

I used to have nightmares as a child (7-10) where these orbs of energy would torment me in the dream space, and it has similarities to that because eventually I got the courage to try confronting it.. I literally tried to grab them or confine them with objects in the dream.. and they would try to squirm away, with the same feeling as the succubus type entities described above.

My interpretation of it is that there are entities in the astral space (not the dream space), and that they can impinge or protrude into the mind of an individual, which when it occurs during REM sleep the mind projects qualities on the dream itself to represent it.. so it's like a hand (entity) pushing into a glove (mind/dream space). The thing in the dream, and perhaps even the astral space, is a human projection over the top of a real entity that is perhaps without form. My impression is that they're not particularly intelligent but somehow are able to 'see' our internal machinery as it were and push/pull certain levers to extract emotional or sexual energy or something, in the same way an ant milks aphids.. like it's a natural mechanism, not a demonic thing.
I do think the "entities" have some very very complex hierarchy, and we barely know shit about it, there's people in the Church studying them, there's also studies within organized Luciferianism and New Age movements that study that hierarchy. It's kind of odd that we think this is just BS nowadays (most people think that) when the fact it's that all cultures and almost during all times of humanity, this research has been done, with more or less "success" (as much as possible, which is not a lot). So the thing is, as we cannot access them easily, there's not a "scientific" record of them, the methods are not there yet, but in anycase if you see the drawings of incedigris, you'll see that guy has a wonderful mind, because he could retain, withhold in his mind that fucking entities so clearly, which for me would be impossible... but man, I'm sure if you have seen some of those in the DMT realm, you'll feel shocked just watching his drawings, how it's possible it's just THAT? Seems pretty suspiciuous that something so incredibly specific is seen by different people, I cannot buy the jungian archetype theory in this case...
 
I read about sleep paralysis and have tried to remember if I ever had that type of issue. I never have. The only lucid dreaming I ever had was that one dream where I turn on a light switch and no lights go on and I realize I am dreaming. In the movie A Waking Life" they go into detail as to why you can not turn on lights in a dream. There was some explanation. But I have had many of those dreams.

A few times I was dreaming and knew I was dreaming. but that is the extent of it. Never astral projected either. I mean I have been all over in my mind but never projected to a different room or anything like that.

It has been said cannabis stops dreaming. Well that deserves more study as I do smoke and dream. The other day I took 2 hits at like 3:00AM and went back to sleep with a very clear dream. I do dream a little clearer if I don't smoke. But yeah, needs more study.

I wish I thought dreams were more than just splintered consciousness of what happens during the day. I don't hold them in any great regard other than the fact that I wake up. I welcome the great beyond of nothingness before I drift off and already know I will always wake up. Either here or there. ;)
 
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