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Stimulants Love hate relationship with it??

D

Dimebagdonny

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2018
Messages
76
Location
Oregon
Anyone else have a love hate relationship with meth? I'm sure. I used to want to not do it the most (about 5 or 6 years ago ) when I was doing it the most. At least being all junked out and banging it mostly. Where I felt I had more controll over it than it did me. Though it was around alot more living in a trap house. Now that I'm not living in that environment anymore and slowed down a lot and hardly even ever bang it anymore,I feel unsure about how much I do want to quit more than I don't. Any words to relate?
 
Dimebagdonny said:
Anyone else have a love hate relationship with meth? I'm sure. I used to want to not do it the most (about 5 or 6 years ago ) when I was doing it the most. At least being all junked out and banging it mostly. Where I felt I had more controll over it than it did me. Though it was around alot more living in a trap house. Now that I'm not living in that environment anymore and slowed down a lot and hardly even ever bang it anymore,I feel unsure about how much I do want to quit more than I don't. Any words to relate?
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Yeah, make your fuckin mind up
 
The love/ hate relation with stimulants. Dextro-Amphetamin in my case. Yeah for sure, they Tobacco playes a role in this . Contributed to drinking. Which I would otherwise not do.

Smoking weed under influence of stims with Tobacco, might add in booze and/ or benzo's.

Or smoking some weed once in a while pure. As it by itself is quite selflimiting ime. Love and hate def DimeBagDonny.
 
Absolutely understand where you are coming from OP. I shoot meth once a week or so and totally love my high time. My life it totally together and meth not causing me any real problems (apart from a few blown veins) but I absolutely hate it because it totally prevents me doing ANY real work (I am doing a PhD) and each week I get further and further behind schedule but largely not caring that much a lot of the time because (a) high or (b) asleep recovering from being high. I love the high enough to find myself seriously considering to drop my PhD and make a career out of meth (fortunately I don't really have to work for money any longer and can just afford the amount I need each week without making sacrifices in other areas). However, when I catch myself thinking like that I realise how much I hate it and the way it has its claws in me. I'm 50 and don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user and need to finish my studies to open some new doors in life. It's about 50/50 which way it'll go I reckon.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Well enlight us is this a option for anyone or were youjust succesfull or lucky?

I am always short on cash!
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Ha ha. Was not always thus. Was a combination of years of hard corporate work and living in very low to zero tax jurisdictions when I did so. Not rich by any means, just able to make ends meet without having to have a boss or clock on anywhere. I was grossly overpaid for what I was worth but so far away from head office out in Asia that noone really noticed for years.
 
I think almost everyone will develop a love/hate relationship with stims if they consume long and regularly enough - every single person I have ever met who fits that cetegory has done. Ever wonder why you hardly meet an aged speed freak? They're either dead or have quit.

Atelier3 said:
My life it totally together and meth not causing me any real problems (apart from a few blown veins) but I absolutely hate it because it totally prevents me doing ANY real work (I am doing a PhD) and each week I get further and further behind schedule but largely not caring that much a lot of the time because (a) high or (b) asleep recovering from being high. I love the high enough to find myself seriously considering to drop my PhD and make a career out of meth (fortunately I don't really have to work for money any longer and can just afford the amount I need each week without making sacrifices in other areas). However, when I catch myself thinking like that I realise how much I hate it and the way it has its claws in me. I'm 50 and don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user and need to finish my studies to open some new doors in life. It's about 50/50 which way it'll go I reckon.
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This is classic overoptimistic thinking that occurs when we are at the tipping point when use becomes problematic.

Here's the news brother - you already know it but you won't want to hear it, but I'm still gonna tell :) The thought that its "not causing me any real problems" is straight up denial. It's already problematic and will soon hit a steep incline in that.

It prevents you working on your PhD - you are already fully aware that you "hate it" and that it has "its claws" in you and that you "don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user " That kinda realisation doesn't really sit easily next to your musing that its' "50-50" which way it will go and that there's a "career in meth" consideration!

You're a bright person. I'd hate to be reading here met year how you'd sacked your studies off to dive into a bag of meth - total waste
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
I think almost everyone will develop a love/hate relationship with stims if they consume long and regularly enough - every single person I have ever met who fits that cetegory has done. Ever wonder why you hardly meet an aged speed freak? They're either dead or have quit.



This is classic overoptimistic thinking that occurs when we are at the tipping point when use becomes problematic.

Here's the news brother - you already know it but you won't want to hear it, but I'm still gonna tell :) The thought that its "not causing me any real problems" is straight up denial. It's already problematic and will soon hit a steep incline in that.

It prevents you working on your PhD - you are already fully aware that you "hate it" and that it has "its claws" in you and that you "don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user " That kinda realisation doesn't really sit easily next to your musing that its' "50-50" which way it will go and that there's a "career in meth" consideration!

You're a bright person. I'd hate to be reading here met year how you'd sacked your studies off to dive into a bag of meth - total waste
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You are totally right and I really appreciate you pointing the facts out to me so straight up. It's got to stop - there's too much good stuff I want to get into in life.
 
Atelier3 said:
You are totally right and I really appreciate you pointing the facts out to me so straight up. It's got to stop - there's too much good stuff I want to get into in life.
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Yeah man put down the needle and finish your PhD man.youll just end up regretting it if u don't.
 
Atelier3 said:
Ha ha. Was not always thus. Was a combination of years of hard corporate work and living in very low to zero tax jurisdictions when I did so. Not rich by any means, just able to make ends meet without having to have a boss or clock on anywhere. I was grossly overpaid for what I was worth but so far away from head office out in Asia that noone really noticed for years.
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In a way I acomplished something likewise.

Being stuck in disability, for the wrong diagnoses btw. But its not like they care. Once your are stuck in the belly of the beast steady income is guaranteed. To bad my last job was a bit low on the pay. As the ammount they pay you is based upon that.
 
emkee_reinvented said:
In a way I acomplished something likewise.

Being stuck in disability, for the wrong diagnoses btw. But its not like they care. Once your are stuck in the belly of the beast steady income is guaranteed. To bad my last job was a bit low on the pay. As the ammount they pay you is based upon that.
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It’s nice to have that kind of security if you are not well or even if you are well I suppose.
 
lookin' from my side I got stuck in a system that doesn't function. It benefit's are ment for disabled. I am less disabled then most working people. That has become obvious the last years.

When these kinda gouvernement organs are breaking there own rules. It evident we went over the critical point were a good thing becomes bad.

If the law only enforces obligation's but your rights are only on paper. Is a indication of degeneration.

Referring to my dr that violated the law regarding the proffessional obligation to medical secrecy/ integrity when sharing info with other partie's.

Our UWV, unenployement/ disability organisation where medical prohibited dossier's were shared with non medical personal. My employer did the excact same thing btw.

They fired me while sick using a trick with help of the UWV. F*ck the Netherland's. Shitty country.
 
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Atelier3 said:
It’s nice to have that kind of security if you are not well or even if you are well I suppose.
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According to the protocol's I was overstressed, the reasoning for sudden cure, The protocol was however never started. Instead my dr. told them a dif story, behind my back. So my reintegration ended the following path. It was an affair that needed to dissapear, asap.

Made an complain and got my file's. Same day, smartasses.
And what a pigshit was in there.
I was f*cked four way's. And rights excist on paper only.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
I think almost everyone will develop a love/hate relationship with stims if they consume long and regularly enough - every single person I have ever met who fits that cetegory has done. Ever wonder why you hardly meet an aged speed freak? They're either dead or have quit.



This is classic overoptimistic thinking that occurs when we are at the tipping point when use becomes problematic.

Here's the news brother - you already know it but you won't want to hear it, but I'm still gonna tell :) The thought that its "not causing me any real problems" is straight up denial. It's already problematic and will soon hit a steep incline in that.

It prevents you working on your PhD - you are already fully aware that you "hate it" and that it has "its claws" in you and that you "don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user " That kinda realisation doesn't really sit easily next to your musing that its' "50-50" which way it will go and that there's a "career in meth" consideration!

You're a bright person. I'd hate to be reading here met year how you'd sacked your studies off to dive into a bag of meth - total waste
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Hey man I know people In there 70s that been doing meth and other drugs since the 70s and it's crazy
 
Atelier3 said:
I'm 50 and don't really want to spend the next 20 years or however long as a professional meth user and need to finish my studies to open some new doors in life.
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Dont take this the wrong way, but man, i will consider myself extremely fortunate if I have even a fraction of your optimism when I'm 50.

I'm 38 now and wondering how/why I chose to resume an addiction I left behind 14 years ago.
38 and I already feel like I've lived a lifetime. I don't want to still be doing this while time flies by around me. The thought of waking up one day to find everyone you love is suddenly old or gone because you missed out on everything is one of my biggest fears.
😣
 
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It's a love/hate heartbreak. That's meth for you. Yes, I have felt this way for a long time. I gotta stop loving it to be able to quit and move on. Someday hopefully. I HATE being dependent on a drug, a slave to dope.
 
Oh baby as an adderall fiend it balances itself out.

Stimulants are honest. I love that. We reap exactly what we sow.. something like opiates or benzos only at the end do you feel the crash and it makes you want to just give up breathing. At least stimulants do not deceive the user. Gotta pay the trade! If you like stimulants as much as we do.. to think you won't have some wicked dark days is just not realistic. If you don't like the toll it's not up to us :( I think it's the only way to keep someone in check. Especially with the stronger ones like meth it's easy to go straight to crazy town and not realize it at all.

That being said no one deserves to suffer. And stimulant addiction is a tangible thing like opiate addiction. It takes time and will power but it is possible to resist redosing 24/7 and killing your mind and body. It's just with meth there is some residual withdrawal and it's absolutely horrible.. so to cut back you'd literally have some major depression you know? It's hard.
 
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I tried it maybe 10 or 15 at the most times over 3 yesrs or so. Utter garbage and from my small binges gave me some serious long-lasting anxiety and anhedonia and lack of my sharpness and intellectual abilities, after a particular bad binge where i went into a psychosis,and was hospitalized in psych unit,, er it was rapidly resolved by antipsychotics, or just ended with the sife effect of me being forced to take then, during that "treatment" and after i quit i entered a months long depression unsble to take care of myself, talk, or even communicate with family members. Hard to eat or brush my teeth. Sometikes I dont get out of bed to feed myself until the pain is so bad I have to. Avoid meth at all costs, nasty drug.


I dont like it, and it brings out all the worst parts of my personality that I've been trying to shed/discsrd
 
Zephyn said:
I tried it maybe 10 times over 3 yesrs or so. Utter garbage and from my small binges gave me some serious long-lasting anxiety and anhedonia and lack of my sharpness and intellectual abilities, after a particular bad binge where i went into a psychosis,after it was rapidly resolved by antipsychotics, or just ended with the sife effect of me being forced to take then, during that "treatment" and after i quit i entered a months long depression unsble to take care of myself, talk, or even communicate with family members. Hard to eat or brush my teeth. Sometikes I dont get out of bed to feed myself until the pain is so bad I have to. Avoid meth at all costs, nasty drug.
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I used to think that heroin was the strongest addiction out there. I've never seen people struggle with anything so immensely (on the topic of substance abuse or not--literally any accomplishment seems easier).

But now I see that meth is just as hard if not harder than breaking free from heroin addiction.. the long lasting depression that puts one on suicide watch.. the relentless inability to enjoy anything.. it's basically just as bad as heroin abuse. My rule was no meth or heroin and everything else was fair game. But still it was too much to bear lol. Not making a holier than thou post whatsoever! It's just too many to count openly brought heroin and meth into their lives thinking they were immune to the consequences or addiction? I don't enjoy seeing people go through something that makes them want to give up living. Meth and heroin in their own can make any amazing person want to give it up.
 
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