LostWife is back again... Ugghhh

[eon_blue]

Suboxone has euphoric effects at give or take <2mg, so it's likely that he started abusing it for the high and then soon became dependent on it. Suboxone, like methadone, has such a long half life that using it frequently enough will have you physically hooked sooner than say a drug like heroin that leaves your system much more quickly. The difference is that heroin, being MUCH more euphoric, is generally harder to put down and walk away from.

Anyway, he might say that he's not dependent on anything but I'd bet money that if he stops taking his suboxone that he'll start getting sick (usually starts within 24 hours of your last dose, depending on how much you were taking). Suboxone is an opioid, it does get you high (if you don't have a sizable tolerance) and it most definitely makes you physically dependent. And its not the easiest drug to come off of. The withdrawals aren't as severe as say heroin's are, but they last a hell of a lot longer (I've been dependent on both in the past).

Anyway, it sounds like you guys are making huge progress and I wish you the best of luck in finding the right place for him to go. Don't wait for too long Get him there asap!

 

[User Name Here]

Wow I'm so happy for you LostWife, I'm glad you stuck with it to get to the truth and yes this is a very big and postive step in the rigth direction for him not to be in denial about his drug use anymore.

It is kind of weird though that that he'd be addicted to suboxone over all that other stuff...I suspect he's not telling the whole truth just yet. What about the adderral texts?

I am so excited for you as well! This is a huge step in the right direction. You are an amazing wife and like I said before, anyone would be lucky to have you around!

With all of that being said, I too am suspicious that he's "addicted to Suboxone" if he has been using much stronger drugs such as Oxycontin, heroin, etc. It just doesn't make much sense. People usually only take Suboxone if they have nothing else OR they're trying to taper off of opiates without experiencing horrible withdrawals. I would definitely let him know this because I can almost guarantee the whole truth hasn't come out here. It doesn't make him a horrible person though. He's sick and he has taken a huge step in admitting anything to begin with, so perhaps he'll come 100% clean and when that happens, the healing can begin.

Once again, I am so excited for the both of you right now and you're both headed in the right direction. Also, if he's going to go to treatment, he needs to do it NOW. Don't let him continually tell you that he's going only to put it off in favor of who knows what.

Good luck to the both of you!

 

[User Name Here]

We only ASSUMED those texts were adderal texts no? I definitely think hes telling the truth. Why would you admit to a bunch of other drugs than casually leave one out? It doesn't make logical sense.

I dunno, addicts lie about anything and everything much of the time. In my case I lied about which drugs I was using. I would make omissions in hopes that my loved ones would be so focused on my sudden "honesty" that they would miss the overall picture and not notice what was really going on. It was as if I was giving them a little bit here and a little bit there, and they held onto every piece. It only put off my recovery for so much longer.

Besides, admitting to Suboxone use sounds so much... better... than admitting to a heroin addiction, you know? I would much rather people think I'm addicted to a prescribed drug used for coming off of opiates versus a street drug with a huge reputation.

Of course he's making a huge step in the right direction either way!

 

[LostWife]

Thanks everyone! I'm absolutely overjoyed..

The day after he said he would go to rehab (so yesterday) he is still on bored!! We looked ALL day for a a rehab for him, and man is it hard! They are either like 15 months or 30-90 days nothing really in between.. We're still not 100% sure where he's going to go.

Yesterday was CRAZY!! As i told you he had broken into his grandmas house and was stealing money and her rolex (on saturday) Well she decided yesterday to press charges, so he got arrested and we had to go bail him out. My mom was like, "maybe he just needs to go to jail maybe then he'll realize." I was like, "MOM Derrr he's already said he'll go to rehab, he's already started being honest, if we dont go bail him out he'll go sit in jail and then be PISSED at us that we didnt help him, then he probably WONT go to rehab." So she agreed and we went and bailed him out. We brought him home and he did a phone interview with a rehab.

Anyways we have to detox him for the place that we are like 90% sure he will go, we found a hosipital that does medical detox.. so yesterday after this whole bailing him out fiasco he was talking to some of the officers and i walked up to him, said go take a shower, we're leaving. He asked where we were going, and i told him detox. And he was like oh, okay, went home took a shower and then we went and picked him up and were on our way.

So we went to the ER and waited and waited and then finally he got admitted, and after SO long of waiting they discovered they can't do a medical detox for suboxone, They said what he has to do it go get a prescription for suboxone and taper... and maybe this could work for him, but we were all just like no, no no no!! We can't trust him, he'll snort them, we would LITTERALLY have to be attached to him 24/7 to make sure he didnt abuse his perscription and did the taper properly.

What a disaster... I just felt hopeless, I was sitting on his hospital bed just bawling talking to the social worker. The social worker suggested i leave him until he finishes his taper so that he knows he could lose me if he doesnt do it right... What a stupid suggestion. lol... I told him i DID leave him for 2 weeks and i FINALLY went back home last night because he agreed to rehab, and agreed to take these steps... I was literally just feeling broken.

My husband jumps up and says, "WOW Danielle, you give up WAY too easy." He got on the phone with my brother in law (the one that i've been talking to) and told him the situation and he started googling in-patient suboxone detox. He found ONE so we were like ok lets jump into the car and head there! Soo we called that place and they said yes they do it blah blah, and they took down our insurance info and said they'd call us back today.

They called this morning and unfortunately our insurance wont cover it because it's our of our demographic, and it's $7,000 for a 14-day detox.

Again i started feeling hopeless (maybe i do give up to easily) So i just started praying, God please please let us find somewhere!!

My mom got on the computer and started googling again, and we found a place 45 minutes from here that does a inpatient suboxone detox 3-7 days, AND they accept our insurance!!!!!

Ahh i'm like freaking out, praying they have a bed open NOW and that everything pans out..

So hopefully we'll start his detox today.

He's sooo willing it's actually freaky. He's really scared though too, as i suppose anyone would be. He's being SO honest and open about how he's feeling, thinking everything. It's amazing.. I just think that God has gotten through to him

But yes, thats the progress we have made in the past 24 hours. What a rollercoaster ride it has been.

 

[LostWife]

Lol yes craziness!

Does he still have a job BTW? And are you back home again? What's he up to the following day after you had this rehab talk the night before?

I posted the follow up..

But no he doesnt have a job right now.. He has been self employed since i've known him, doing construction.

It was like when the economy crashed, he'd still get a couple jobs, but now he's absolutely NOT motivated one little bit.. It's crazy. He has changed SOOO much.

 

[bagochina]

Are you sure he is just taking Suboxone? Stealing from his grandma is not indicitive of Suboxone. IMO there is something else going on. Grow houses, skinny, stealing a rolex/cash, etc. I hate to be a bummer [or put any ideas in your head] but I would hazard a guess that there is a stronger opiate being used. In addition to whatever else. Not to sure about the heroin scene these days in NH but when I lived in Lancaster NH heroin was available and that was in the middle of nowhere.

Regardless I guess it doesnt matter now that he is seeking help. Is he seeking help or are you pushing him into it. I have been to rehab a handful of times where I was pushed into going and in truth I had NO plans to stop using. I just went to get people off my back.

As far as detox/rehab [inpatient] for Suboxone, while it might seem like the 'right' thing to do, most rehabs these days are pushing people out of rehab and putting them ON Suboxone. I checked into rehab a year and a half ago for benzos, speed, and suboxone. The nurses there were kinda taken back.

'You came in here to get off suboxone?'
'uh yeah'

Like it was some kinda shocker. I would suggest talking to a well informed doctor [addiction] and do a home taper [3 days] and use what ever medications the doctor gives you. Subs are not to bad to come off of if done properly. Than when he is detoxed check into a normal 30 rehab and pray it works.

Good luck and hopefully he is ready to quit.

peace.
seedless

 

[LostWife]

ok people, HOW DO YOU FIND A DETOX!?!?!?

i have called almost every hospital/detox facility in new england and i CANNOT find one! No one will take him because he "isnt doing enough"

My husband has called people yelling, "I just want to get off of this stuff!!!!" and they still just give us the run around..

I'm starting to feel hopeless, as is he.. We don't know what to do!

 

[Georgie25]

Does he get sick when trying to stop? Detox is for people who are heavily addicted to stuff physically. How much is he using? Idk why they are denying him treatment, especially since they will be getting paid..

If they are denying him because he (ab)uses suboxone, that's wrong of them. Since suboxone can have a pretty shitty withdrawal and long lasting as well. But I would suspect some detox programs wouldn't think of suboxone as a drug people abuse and need to detox from, so I guess that's where you're having your trouble...Most detoxes I've seen treated opiate addicts WITH suboxone, so they probally don't know how to treat your husband.. If you can give some more details that would help.

If he doesn't get sick enough to require a detox program maybe he should just go straight to rehab..

 

[bagochina]

http://www.treatmentusa.com/treatment/New.Hampshire.html

Well working with some detox/rehabs can be a headache that is for sure. I had no problems finding a rehab for when I decided to get off suboxone [benzos/speed]. They did question me about coming to rehab FOR suboxone because 70% of their patients leaving detox/rehab [for opiate addiction] were being prescribed Suboxone/Xanax [that was the most common combo]. It was a nice comfortable place which IMO is essential.

Well the simple solution would be to fib and state he is using more than he really is, IME most people lie about there use anyways. What is he actually taking? Tell him he has to be honest about everything he is using [to you or just have him talk to the intake].

I was going to go to this place in Connecticut [Silver Hill] it is a very good facility. I had a friend stay there. Also Mountainside in Connecticut is equally as good and a little bit more affordable. I had a friend stay 1.5 years there and than gave him a job and moved him into extended care cottages. Of course he is still using today.

Silver Hill, New Canaan, CT.
Mountainside, New Canaan, CT.

Those are the only two I am familiar with on the east coast.

Have you thought about talking to a doctor in your area and having him prescribe your husband meds [or having your husband pick up meds] that will help him with a detox. That might be a good way to go [financially, emotionally, and effectiveness]. Good luck and keep us updated.

peace.
seedless

 

[LostWife]

Thanks so much for your reply bagochina!!

We actually just got home from dropping him off at detox!! We found a nice comfortable place for him, he was evaluated and admitted today without lying! Wow!! And to top it off insurance is paying for it!!

Ahh it feels like such a weight lifted, but its also a HUGE reality that in the next few days ill be saying goodbye to my husband/best friend/love of my life for a loong time.. :'(..

All I want is for him to be healthy, and I'm sooo proud of him for taking these steps.. Its so hard for both of us.. I'm just thanking God for how everything has been working out the past 5 days.. Its incredable the change that's happened..

You all are wonderful people, and I thank you so much for taking time out of your lives to give me advice, lift me up and support me.. I wish I could meet you all in person and give you all HUGE HUGS!!

Thank you for welcoming me into this community and for being loving. You have been a blessing and God will bless you all for it!

This will be the hardest year of my life, but I know well make it through!!

God bless you all!!

 

[Help me please]

Did I read somewhere that hubby will be gone for a year in treatment? That's a long time!

 

[Georgie25]

Good luck...Found Wife...he's going to rehab for a year?

 

[Provoke]

When he came down to Florida for my grandmas funeral he was being SO mean to me.. he was very irritable the whole time we were there.. Quiet, irritated, annoyed at everything, snappy etc... Idk if he was withdrawaling?? Not sure...

Adderal causes that exact mood shift. It's not withdrawal but actually quite the opposite, it's Adderal. Some people perform better at life when using adderal and decent people like yourself with prejudices about drugs can actually mislead the guy into believing that taking Adderal is wrong while in fact it could be the right thing to do in his particular case.

Adderal is made to stimulate people who are slow by nature...lazy people, sleepy people, people with ADD, ADHD, narcoleptics, daydreamers etc...if he is among these people...then taking Adderal is perfectly fine and improves him as a person.

I mean he could have ADD and have a legitimate reason to take Adderal. Did you get him to a psychiatrist to run tests? If he was a junkie he would just do heroin...You need to be sure that he is not trying to fill a gap because if he is than the rehab won't make him a better person.

I can be wrong... maybe he's on uppers in a counter-productive way. What dosage is he using daily?

 

[Georgie25]

You should read the whole thread before posting next time.^

Not like it would matter either way because everything you said was bullshit and it's obvious to everyone you don't know shit about what you're talking about anyway.

 

[Provoke]

You should read the whole thread before posting next time.^

Not like it would matter either way because everything you said was bullshit and it's obvious to everyone you don't know shit about what you're talking about anyway.

U mad because I offer my personal opinion? Because if you are mad you can go stay small without trolling people's topics. ^.^

 

[n3ophy7e]

Because if you are mad you can go stay small without trolling people's topics. ^.^

What are you talking about dude?? You are the one trolling someone else's thread! It is clear that you haven't read one single post in this thread, you may have just read a few keywords and assumed what it was about then posted your thoughts.
You're only making yourself look like a tool by doing so, please do yourself a favour and take more time and effort when contributing to people's threads in The Dark Side.

Thanks.

 

[LostWife]

Good luck...Found Wife...he's going to rehab for a year?

Yeah, amazingly he's agreed to it....

We wanted to get him somewhere with a high success rate, and also a Christian program. We are Christians and thats where he wants to go, so it's not like we're forcing him to go to that one.

But yeah, we found 2 places, both with good success rates, one was 7 months and one was a year and he chose the year one.

obviously the rehabilitation and learning to live without using will be hard to learn, but he also has a lot of deep issues, alot of hurt etc...

He even told one of the Dr.'s on a phone interview that the reason he has been using for so long is so that he doesnt feel. He just wants to be numb, so he does have a lot of pain and hurt in his heart.

As i mentioned before his dad died from ALS (lou garhigs disease). His dad got diagnosed with that when my husband was only 7. His dad lived for 15 years with ALS, almost unheard of.

He had to do A LOT of things a normal kid shouldnt have to do. He started working construction to help his dad at 14, he had to help take care of his dad, as well as kind of be the "man of the family" doing things for his mom that his dad couldnt do because he was in a wheelchair. His dad was his best friend, like the only one on this whole planet he could go to and just spill his guts to. He needs to grieve the loss of his dad, heal from his growing-up years and heal from all the hurt that his dad's family (the psycho aunts/uncles etc..) have caused him.

I just think he needs alot of time to heal and be counselled and focus on himself. I know he can do it and i know he WANTS to do it. It's gonna be hard, but we will be able to do it i know we will!!

me, my husband and my father in-law a year before he died. He actually looks semi healthy in this picture, but he was really sick, the next year he went soo downhill and eventually died on January 2, 2007.

(Horrible pic, scanned then copied of facebook)

 

[edgewise1]

Some people utter useless shit and state unfounded ideas in order to Provoke people. I would not pay those post's that Provoke one bit of attention.

I think it's great that you were able to find a Christian rehab since you have such a strong faith. I was in a program called Reformers Unamious that was central for me getting off of hydrocodone. I know some folks do not believe in the Christian faith, but for one who does a Christ centered program can be a lifesaver!

 

[Help me please]

Lost wife that is so great really and I will pray for you both. I promise you

 

[LostWife]

Georgie- just seen you called me "found wife" tee hee starting to feel that way!

Well yesterday we flew to Pheonix and my husband checked into rehab! Got to be there to say goodbye, it was hard but I'm soooo proud of him! It's only a 30 day program, but it's a start, I really feel like he needs a lot more than that, but as I said it's a start.

I flew back home today, and i don't really know if it's hit me yet... He did call about an hour ago and he said that all the people there are really nice and he sounded really good! He said he's doing well so far, so I'm happy that he's had a positive first day.

He called my brother in law and my bro-in-law asked him if maybe after this he would go to a longer term rehab and he actually said yeah. He was originally supposed to go to a year long rehab, but since he's on zoloft they wouldn't take him, but this rehab is weaning him off of that so after these 30 days he may be able to go if he feels he needs it, but we'll see when that point comes...

Will keep you updated as the time goes on!