lost items

[yoUr bLiSS]

i bought a pack of cigarettes
camel lights in your memory
it used to be marlboros
but that was a different girl
in a different time
i'm not addicted
haven't smoked in years
(sober that is)
yet i also haven't hurt in years
i finished off the vodka
enough for one drink
i'd walk to albertsons
purchase more medication
but i seem to have lost my wallet
i lost a lot this weekend
will you check the van for it?
can you do me a favor?
can you look for my heart also?
maybe it's hidden under the floormat
or slipped beneath the seats
sure hope it didn't get
carlessly thrown out the window
don't bother looking for my mind
i lost that sunday morning
you witnessed that
but i could really use a drink
so if you can't find my heart
no big deal
i have ways of coping
but please find my wallet
i need my pain medication

 

[SilverMoon]

You're scaring me...seriously. I just responded to your last post saying that I was going through something very similair. I'm sitting here alone chain smoking and getting drunk. Too bad you're so far away...we could be 'medicating' together.

 

[*Cosmic Mist*]

i love this for its cynicism... i like the way you speak in such a manner that i find all too familiar. you make it feel as though truely you know the feeling of desolation and empty dispair.
The feelings will evolve and change, the writting will also. Keep posting, it's worth the theraputic value.
- Misty

 

[yoUr bLiSS]

silvermoon i would love to self-medicate with you...misery loves company...and misery loves me at the moment. cosmic mist...i lived this feeling for years. then one day i became happy, i was happy for a few years actually. strange as it seems..i almost miss this feeling...i feel like myself again...i feel alive....
this is me
the real me
i'm comfortable here
i thrive in misery
and welcome rainclouds
the sun is overrated
and even with sunblock
i was never right for it
i'm re-discovering
long lost passions
melancholy moods and cigarettes
joy division and black clothes
self-medication
or should i say
destruction?
i thank the boy
and the catastrophic event
that brought me back here
back to my roots
back to my element
back to life
true creation
is sprung from darkness
thank you for inspiring me