Losing Myself.

[rewiiired]

Welcome to the big, brick wall
that I passionately bang my head against.
You might see this technique as extreme. Stop judging.
I've just got to use it before I lose it again.

I've got to break through this time.
Got to make it all the way to the other side.
Something's calling, I can hear the whispers still.
I could know the language. Let me hear
the message loud and clear.

He beats them and they're bleeding.
She deserts me, then I'm screaming.
They're coming, no one can save me.
Nothing can stop anything
from happening.

Why do I have to slip back here again?
This darkness can't convince me,
there's brighter places that I've been.
Fate is just a fiction that imprisons, and we all
need structure to gain our form, I see, but I'll be damned
if I'm going to let you write my story.

What are they saying?
My head is hurting again.
Silence, I can hear them calling.
Did you say that, or was that Them?

Go away.
I'm far too busy.
Don't you see?
Can't you hear me?

Beating my brains,
making myself bleed.
Losing myself,
making myself scream.

 

[up all night]

It's strange how often the things we write are fuelled by desperation.

Or maybe that's not so strange.

 

[The Fish]

It's been a long while, T, but you write as well as ever.

I like the anger, the refusal in this one.

smiley