Losing my black dress as the watcher cries

[LadyWidow]

Follow the line of my neck with your lips
Lay me in sheets of sin
Behind the walls the eyes of my immortal watcher bears a heart
He scratches at the walls
I can't see him
Your eyes are too deep, I am lost in them
Like being on a drug you are my freedom
The late watcher gathers my sins in a box
I will see them all one day
But right now you are my only sin
Taking me into late night bliss
Your body is hot
I am burning inside and out
It is your fire
I lose my dress of solid black
And my scarf of red, well
It is around your wrists
I am in control
I can do what ever I want
I want to know your exsistence
Explore you and what is your weak spots...
My heart of cold turn red and pounds
I have to untie you
I can't take it no longer with out your touches
My blood rushing
I am shivering all over in hot rythms
You are making me crazy
Let me taste you
Let me taste your blood
Let me have you
But it is to late any way....
You are already mine
And the watcher watches in tears
As I take down another one

 

[Chalice]

hmmm

I thought this was well written, but lacking something. Perhaps a bit of focus. You have a great thought process, make it more punctuating and it would be great! Good overall though!