Both of you need to have the same mind set. My Husband and I have been swinging for yrs and we get lots of enjoyment out of it. The end result at least for us is that we enjoy others when we are not engaged in group activities. I enjoy lots of extra sex outside our group as well as my husband. Don't get jealous, it almost wrecked my marriage but after talking through it, it just sex and nothing more.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Looking to get involved with Swinging.....your thoughts
- Thread starter Jerseyjoeyc
- Start date
I have some personal experience with this and its a pretty major life decision, intense, so I will take the time to tell you what my opinions, feelings on the matter, and share some personal stories.
First of all some people are going to take a negative attitude because they just don't like it. I say fuck them. You've already said you do like it, or are interested in it, you don't need goodie2shoes telling you your going to hell in a hand basket.
That said, my EX wife and I hung out with a crowd of burningman swinger types, mostlly all married, mostly vary cool people. We had some great times at burningman, and at sex parties in extravagant homes (something about rich people and sex parties go hand and hand - go figure). It was a great experiance but I will say that many of those folks - like my ex and I - are now divorced. People who don't swing also get divorced at 50% rate so I don't know this tells you anything but its something to consider.
One thing to watch out for is that its going to be a lot easier for your woman to find a guy willing to fuck her than it is for you to find a woman willing to let you fuck her. That's just economics 101 but it has some barring here. Another thing to watch out for (in my opinion) is that women are more jealous than men. I never minded when my ex got fucked, I liked it, but it was always a problem for her when I got pussy - even when she was in on it. Her negative vibes often made it harder for me to get pussy than it had to be, and that exasperated the fact I mentioned above (its easier for women to get laid in the first place). I often felt she was undermining me with vibes, nothing overt mind you, but other women are sensitive to those vibes. Your wife giving them the cold shoulder might really piss you off right after you watched her get the fuck of her life.
And there is another thing. We men think of strange as being of the pussy variety but strange comes in the form of cock too. Meaning your wife is likely to get off hard, harder than she does with you after years of the same cock. That can hurt. It can also being exciting. Here is the fucked up part, it can hurt and be exciting all at the same time. You have to be pretty mature and deep to handle this. You have to be prepared to deal with conflicting emotions. You have to be mature enough to understand that she is moaning like a cat in heat because its strange, not because she likes this dude more than she likes you. And yes, she is liklly to think about him and want to see him again. She might even arrange to see him without your knowledge, especially if you put a lot of limits on what they do or make her feel bad about enjoin it.
Are you really ready for all that?
In addition to sex parties and meeting people online, one of the things we found out is that people in our lives actually like sex and if you are open to it the might want to have sex with you. For me this is by far the better experience. I fucked most her girlfriends including life long girlfiends. She felt better about it and the treated us with more respect than virtual strangers did. We had sex with a couple of guy friends of mine and this is the last thing I will tell you.
If you want to do MFM man you should because its the hottest thing ever. I;ve been with two girls. hell I've been with three and its just a pain in the ass. Girls need attention and are so competitive. If you turn right when one of think you should have turned left (especially your wife) the'll be hell to pay. And to me, I get nothing extra out of fucking two or three girls. One on one fucking is the best with a chick. However, having a woman between two men getting the fuck of her life does have something extra. Women can orgasim more, longer, and higher each time. My experience was that after fucking her and watching the other guy fuck her I was ready to go again. We fucked for hours sometimes. Like 5 or more hours. And I loved it. One of things I want most in sex is seeing the woman get off. Double penetration drives them fucking nuts. On one occasion we were going for DP and ended up both slipping into her pussy! I did not know that was possible but afterwards considering that women give birth it made sense. After that we could not get enough of it. Putting two cocks in her mouth at the same time was also pretty amazing.
So there is something wonderful to experience there if you can hack it. I would suggest threesomes. Sometimes with a woman and sometimes with a man. Always with friends if they are available and down. Two couple trades are awkward and it sucks if it works better for one pair and not for the other. Yea, by far the best scenario is bringing her friends and your friends in for threesomes. People you know and trust. Good luck buddy. If you get stuck finding a partner for MFM, hit me up. I'm bi, kind and respectful. Some guys will stick to you by mistreating her or crossing a line. You'll be mad at her for letting it happen which is totally unfair. A woman in that situation doesn't know what to do. If you find yourself wanting her to put a stop to it, YOU put a stop to it.
First of all some people are going to take a negative attitude because they just don't like it. I say fuck them. You've already said you do like it, or are interested in it, you don't need goodie2shoes telling you your going to hell in a hand basket.
That said, my EX wife and I hung out with a crowd of burningman swinger types, mostlly all married, mostly vary cool people. We had some great times at burningman, and at sex parties in extravagant homes (something about rich people and sex parties go hand and hand - go figure). It was a great experiance but I will say that many of those folks - like my ex and I - are now divorced. People who don't swing also get divorced at 50% rate so I don't know this tells you anything but its something to consider.
One thing to watch out for is that its going to be a lot easier for your woman to find a guy willing to fuck her than it is for you to find a woman willing to let you fuck her. That's just economics 101 but it has some barring here. Another thing to watch out for (in my opinion) is that women are more jealous than men. I never minded when my ex got fucked, I liked it, but it was always a problem for her when I got pussy - even when she was in on it. Her negative vibes often made it harder for me to get pussy than it had to be, and that exasperated the fact I mentioned above (its easier for women to get laid in the first place). I often felt she was undermining me with vibes, nothing overt mind you, but other women are sensitive to those vibes. Your wife giving them the cold shoulder might really piss you off right after you watched her get the fuck of her life.
And there is another thing. We men think of strange as being of the pussy variety but strange comes in the form of cock too. Meaning your wife is likely to get off hard, harder than she does with you after years of the same cock. That can hurt. It can also being exciting. Here is the fucked up part, it can hurt and be exciting all at the same time. You have to be pretty mature and deep to handle this. You have to be prepared to deal with conflicting emotions. You have to be mature enough to understand that she is moaning like a cat in heat because its strange, not because she likes this dude more than she likes you. And yes, she is liklly to think about him and want to see him again. She might even arrange to see him without your knowledge, especially if you put a lot of limits on what they do or make her feel bad about enjoin it.
Are you really ready for all that?
In addition to sex parties and meeting people online, one of the things we found out is that people in our lives actually like sex and if you are open to it the might want to have sex with you. For me this is by far the better experience. I fucked most her girlfriends including life long girlfiends. She felt better about it and the treated us with more respect than virtual strangers did. We had sex with a couple of guy friends of mine and this is the last thing I will tell you.
If you want to do MFM man you should because its the hottest thing ever. I;ve been with two girls. hell I've been with three and its just a pain in the ass. Girls need attention and are so competitive. If you turn right when one of think you should have turned left (especially your wife) the'll be hell to pay. And to me, I get nothing extra out of fucking two or three girls. One on one fucking is the best with a chick. However, having a woman between two men getting the fuck of her life does have something extra. Women can orgasim more, longer, and higher each time. My experience was that after fucking her and watching the other guy fuck her I was ready to go again. We fucked for hours sometimes. Like 5 or more hours. And I loved it. One of things I want most in sex is seeing the woman get off. Double penetration drives them fucking nuts. On one occasion we were going for DP and ended up both slipping into her pussy! I did not know that was possible but afterwards considering that women give birth it made sense. After that we could not get enough of it. Putting two cocks in her mouth at the same time was also pretty amazing.
So there is something wonderful to experience there if you can hack it. I would suggest threesomes. Sometimes with a woman and sometimes with a man. Always with friends if they are available and down. Two couple trades are awkward and it sucks if it works better for one pair and not for the other. Yea, by far the best scenario is bringing her friends and your friends in for threesomes. People you know and trust. Good luck buddy. If you get stuck finding a partner for MFM, hit me up. I'm bi, kind and respectful. Some guys will stick to you by mistreating her or crossing a line. You'll be mad at her for letting it happen which is totally unfair. A woman in that situation doesn't know what to do. If you find yourself wanting her to put a stop to it, YOU put a stop to it.