So I have Chrons Disease am 32 yrs old and introduced to opiates via lots of iv didadin and morphine , as I was also a huge alcoholic from age 18-28 I found that percocets and xanax were the only hangover cure since I have an Infamitory Bowl disease the drinking defienetly made things worse.So after the perks and norcos stoped working swim started scoring oxys anyway and where possible That led to getting the fake m30s that were carfently and got up to a five a day habit when ,The day came when the plug plug was out no amount of oxys, benzos muscle relaxers and even ghb could help withdrwals which is when swim wound up smoking Black , and i didnt realize it was the clean B at first and for a good 3 weeks was smoking 1-2gs a day then got more of the m30s and would go back and forth till swim would die in sleep( almost nightly-wake up with half body ice cold no circulation in entire right arm and hands would be ice cold swollen and unable to move for a good thirty minutes or so, thats when swim switched to black as figured U cant die from smoking it but tolerance was so high it took smoking 3gs a day just to feel well(not high) months later would come down with severe lung infections and would spend the next two years using Suboxone for one month then B for 3 months and so on so lungs would have time to heal .Wishing I stayed on subs but ofcourse relapsed everytime thenplus was Sub tolerance breaks did make swim lose tolerance to B on subs so would start of with a g a day for the first week or two then 2gs then got up to 6 gs a day and decided needed help.
Got in Rehab at the ranch in desert hotsprings ca and left 36 hours in and right back to B then 3 moths later after blew through inheratance went to Methadone clinic and at first I was on 30 mgs it actually liked the feeling and decreased B by 70 percent the first few months, now I am 14 months in was at 120mgs but gained a hell of an upper habit to combat the done zombie feeling seriously could sleep for 24hrs a day on 120 mgs and some benzos, I am now at 90mgs still using B and have gained a methadone addiction that is also like "liquid handcuffs" as I have to go eveyday since my monthy drug screens are always dirty I dont qualify for take homes. Life is living hell except for the first 60 mins after I take 2 mg xanax, which I am at about 6-8mgs a day.ugh is there anyhope of recovery at this point?
Got in Rehab at the ranch in desert hotsprings ca and left 36 hours in and right back to B then 3 moths later after blew through inheratance went to Methadone clinic and at first I was on 30 mgs it actually liked the feeling and decreased B by 70 percent the first few months, now I am 14 months in was at 120mgs but gained a hell of an upper habit to combat the done zombie feeling seriously could sleep for 24hrs a day on 120 mgs and some benzos, I am now at 90mgs still using B and have gained a methadone addiction that is also like "liquid handcuffs" as I have to go eveyday since my monthy drug screens are always dirty I dont qualify for take homes. Life is living hell except for the first 60 mins after I take 2 mg xanax, which I am at about 6-8mgs a day.ugh is there anyhope of recovery at this point?
