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messianicResearch

messianicResearch

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2023
Messages
24
Location
way out there
I've been around here for close to ten years ... used to have an account but I don't remember the login info or have access to the email I used to create it. I posted a few trip reports & ramblings here & there but wasn't really too close with any of you. I have matured a bit & changed a lot in the past few years after a few really rough years & have some things to contribute so you might be seeing me around for a little while.

I have about 25 years of poly-substance abuse under my belt with varying degrees of intensity. These days it has mellowed out a little bit but I am still self-medicating. Psychedelic & especially dissociative rcs are my doc. I have an interesting trip report to post here in a little bit.
 
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I think I've decided to add a little medical history of sorts here before I publish my long meandering manifesto of a trip report ... more forthcoming.
 
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Okay, here goes ...


  • I have been a poly-drug user since roughly 1995. In the late 90s I did a lot of dxm & lsd, a little ketamine & pcp. All told I’ve tangled with nearly every drug under the sun except for meth & never used a needle (not that I judge those who do, I have just never taken the plunge & probably never will). In the 2000s I settled down but in the 2010s I got real weird with it. From 2012-2017 I experimented heavily with nearly every rc amphetamine, arylcyclohexylamine, benzodiazepine, cathinone, cannabinoid, phenylethylamine, tryptamine, dissociative, entactogen, psychedelic, sedative, & stimulant on the market. And all throughout, alcohol — lots of alcohol & coffee & cigarettes. I ended up with a massive daily mxe habit, waking up to 40-80mg sublingual doses, with staggered 20mg sublingual doses roughly every two hours throughout the day, gradually increasing in the afternoon & evening to 40-60-80mg & 120mg+++ boofed late in the night, sometimes exceeding 1.5g or more in a single day. I imploded catastrophically, nearly died, & went through the wringer with a dui & multiple stints in rehab.

  • I finally pulled it together in 2017 & was doing really well … until I wasn’t. I slipped up, went through a spell of poppy seed tea & kratom before I found my way to dxm & all the various 3- & 4- meo- & ho- pce & pcp analogs back in early-mid 2019. I eventually settled on 3-fl-pcp as my favorite. Doses were something like 60-120mg dxm first thing in the morning, with 30-60mg roughly every two hours throughout the day — gradually increasing in the evening to 120-240mg, up to 800mg-1.5g late at night — with 2mg sprays of 3-xxx-pcx solution in each nostril 2-4x first thing in the morning & again every 2-4 hours throughout the day, leading up to 20-40-60mg oral doses in the evening & 80-120mg+++ boofed late at night … you’re probably starting to see the pattern.

  • I was experiencing tremendous antidepressant effects & extreme mania. At the time, I didn’t realize but I now believe those effects were attributable to the ssri effects of the dxm I was also taking on a daily basis. I eventually went off the rails & had a hell of a time getting back on my feet. I tried to recreate the magic last year in mid-2022 without success until I caught a cold in early December & started taking dxm again in therapeutic doses. For anyone who isn’t aware, dxm — in addition to being an nmda antagonist like ketamine & pcp — is a mild ssri. It has recently undergone clinical trials (see one example here) as an adjunct treatment for depression on the heels of ketamine’s success in that arena & is currently being prescribed as an antidepressant under the brand name auvelity.

  • So, in early December of 2022 I come down with a cold. I start taking dayQuil & nyQuil daily in normal therapeutic doses. Two weeks later, I start waking up with the sunrise when all year long I have been struggling to wake up before noon. I’m staying awake all day when all year long I’ve been taking naps for an hour or two almost every day. Then I start getting a little manic. I can still eat normally, but I start losing some of the lockdown weight I put on. In the third week of December I can’t sleep more than four hours a night, but I don’t feel like I need it. I am energetic & focused, my mood is great & I am prone to fits of uncontrolled smiling & bursts of laughter. My good mood is infectious & I am killing it at work. After almost 20 years in retail, I landed my dream job this year doing web development for a friend’s very successful startup but I have been really struggling to learn new skills. I thought old age & years of substance abuse had finally caught up with me, but all of a sudden I am en fuego in a very good way & I realize it’s the fucking dxm! By the Monday before xmas, I finally stabilize a little & start sleeping more normally. I am more in the xmas spirit than I have ever been before. On xmas day, at night, after all of the festivities have wound down & everyone else is asleep. I decide to take a little trip down memory lane …

see my trip report here.
​
 
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messianicResearch said:
I am looking for a smart & talented up & cumming eGirl to make a free website for so hit me up
Click to expand...
Just kinda sounds a little phishy (to me) is all especially in these parts like solicitation almost. Hope ya can see it from this perspective.
Kinda lol-ed at the link with antidepressant and its warning that it may cause suicidal tendencies and outcomes. "Boiler-plate" intel on these products... so freakin sad.

Welcome. Looks to be something interesting this way comes. ;)
Glad to have ya.
 
6am-64-14m said:
Just kinda sounds a little phishy (to me) is all especially in these parts like solicitation almost. Hope ya can see it from this perspective.
Kinda lol-ed at the link with antidepressant and its warning that it may cause suicidal tendencies and outcomes. "Boiler-plate" intel on these products... so freakin sad.

Welcome. Looks to be something interesting this way comes. ;)
Glad to have ya.
Click to expand...

Yeah that’s understandable, I could definitely see how it could come across that way. I’m just kind of hamming it up a little, I definitely don’t mean any harm but maybe I should check my boundaries — I do have a tendency to overshare.
 
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messianicResearch said:
I should check my boundaries I do have a tendency to overshare.
Click to expand...
Bro break it down everything I was to what I am is here.
Boundries? Ha! Never heard of 'em. Told my doc I wasn't scared to jump off the cliff (metaphorically/hypothetically . We laughed. :p
Be you and hold forth. I gotta sit back now and keep my eye onda clock.
Gotta date have to keep.
1
 
messianicResearch said:
[...]
  • So, in early December of 2022 I come down with a cold. I start taking dayQuil & nyQuil daily in normal therapeutic doses. Two weeks later, I start waking up with the sunrise when all year long I have been struggling to wake up before noon. I’m staying awake all day when all year long I’ve been taking naps for an hour or two almost every day. Then I start getting a little manic. I can still eat normally, but I start losing some of the lockdown weight I put on. In the third week of December I can’t sleep more than four hours a night, but I don’t feel like I need it. I am energetic & focused, my mood is great & I am prone to fits of uncontrolled smiling & bursts of laughter. My good mood is infectious & I am killing it at work. After almost 20 years in retail, I landed my dream job this year doing web development for a friend’s very successful startup but I have been really struggling to learn new skills. I thought old age & years of substance abuse had finally caught up with me, but all of a sudden I am en fuego in a very good way & I realize it’s the fucking dxm! By the Monday before xmas, I finally stabilize a little & start sleeping more normally. I am more in the xmas spirit than I have ever been before. On xmas day, at night, after all of the festivities have wound down & everyone else is asleep. I decide to take a little trip down memory lane …
[see my trip report here for more details]
Click to expand...

For a little additional context to this, my initial dose of dxm was 30mg hbr every 6 hours for cold, which led to a manic state that was bordering on excessive in conjunction with the 3-fl-pcp. The mania has settled down & I have stabilized since switching to 30mg freebase every 12 hours, & my 3-fl-pcp & kratom doses — as well as my alcohol intake — have all tapered off as my energy, mood, & sleep are all becoming much more regular.
 
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messianicResearch said:
Okay, here goes ...

  • I have been a poly-drug user since roughly 1995. In the late 90s I did a lot of dxm & lsd, a little ketamine & pcp. All told I’ve tangled with nearly every drug under the sun except for meth & never used a needle (not that I judge those who do, I have just never taken the plunge & probably never will). In the 2000s I settled down but in the 2010s I got real weird with it. From 2012-2017 I experimented heavily with nearly every rc amphetamine, arylcyclohexylamine, benzodiazepine, cathinone, cannabinoid, phenylethylamine, tryptamine, dissociative, entactogen, psychedelic, sedative, & stimulant on the market. And all throughout, alcohol — lots of alcohol & coffee & cigarettes. I ended up with a massive daily mxe habit, waking up to 40-80mg sublingual doses, with staggered 20mg sublingual doses roughly every two hours throughout the day, gradually increasing in the afternoon & evening to 40-60-80mg & 120mg+++ boofed late in the night, sometimes exceeding 1.5g or more in a single day. I imploded catastrophically, nearly died, & went through the wringer with a dui & multiple stints in rehab.

  • I finally pulled it together in 2017 & was doing really well … until I wasn’t. I slipped up, went through a spell of poppy seed tea & kratom before I found my way to dxm & all the various 3- & 4- meo- & ho- pce & pcp analogs back in early-mid 2019. I eventually settled on 3-fl-pcp as my favorite. Doses were something like 60-120mg dxm first thing in the morning, with 30-60mg roughly every two hours throughout the day — gradually increasing in the evening to 120-240mg, up to 800mg-1.5g late at night — with 2mg sprays of 3-xxx-pcx solution in each nostril 2-4x first thing in the morning & again every 2-4 hours throughout the day, leading up to 20-40-60mg oral doses in the evening & 80-120mg+++ boofed late at night … you’re probably starting to see the pattern.

  • I was experiencing tremendous antidepressant effects & extreme mania. At the time, I didn’t realize but I now believe those effects were attributable to the ssri effects of the dxm I was also taking on a daily basis. I eventually went off the rails & had a hell of a time getting back on my feet. I tried to recreate the magic last year in mid-2022 without success until I caught a cold in early December & started taking dxm again in therapeutic doses. For anyone who isn’t aware, dxm — in addition to being an nmda antagonist like ketamine & pcp — is a mild ssri. It has recently undergone clinical trials (see one example here) as an adjunct treatment for depression on the heels of ketamine’s success in that arena & is currently being prescribed as an antidepressant under the brand name auvelity.

  • So, in early December of 2022 I come down with a cold. I start taking dayQuil & nyQuil daily in normal therapeutic doses. Two weeks later, I start waking up with the sunrise when all year long I have been struggling to wake up before noon. I’m staying awake all day when all year long I’ve been taking naps for an hour or two almost every day. Then I start getting a little manic. I can still eat normally, but I start losing some of the lockdown weight I put on. In the third week of December I can’t sleep more than four hours a night, but I don’t feel like I need it. I am energetic & focused, my mood is great & I am prone to fits of uncontrolled smiling & bursts of laughter. My good mood is infectious & I am killing it at work. After almost 20 years in retail, I landed my dream job this year doing web development for a friend’s very successful startup but I have been really struggling to learn new skills. I thought old age & years of substance abuse had finally caught up with me, but all of a sudden I am en fuego in a very good way & I realize it’s the fucking dxm! By the Monday before xmas, I finally stabilize a little & start sleeping more normally. I am more in the xmas spirit than I have ever been before. On xmas day, at night, after all of the festivities have wound down & everyone else is asleep. I decide to take a little trip down memory lane …
[see my trip report here for more details]
Click to expand...
Hey there, pretty insightful read there.
I never fooled around to much with the RC stims/amps, I did bath salts once and it was with a military guy that lost his fucking shit . So I decided to stick with the stim I knew instead, Meth. and blow if that counts.
Dxm is starting to be known to help people in therapeutic doses, so it's no surprise that the government might pull it from the shelves now because of it. (Sorry for countries where it already is a prescription.)
Anyways glad to hear you had turned things around and you now have something worthwhile worth doing in the work field.
If you have any other information about your previous account shoot me a DM and I can try and help you get it back.
Welcome back around, 🙂
 
D's said:
Dxm is starting to be known to help people in therapeutic doses, so it's no surprise that the government might pull it from the shelves now because of it. (Sorry for countries where it already is a prescription.)
Click to expand...

That is absolutely vile news — do you have a source for that? If so I will have to make sure to stock up on a lifetime supply before it goes the way of my other holy grail, mxe.
 
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messianicResearch said:
I've been around here for close to ten years ... used to have an account but I don't remember the login info or have access to the email I used to create it. I posted a few trip reports & ramblings here & there but wasn't really too close with any of you. I have matured a bit & changed a lot in the past few years after a few really rough years & have some things to contribute so you might be seeing me around for a little while.































































































































I have about 25 years of poly-substance abuse under my belt with varying degrees of intensity. These days it has mellowed out a little bit but I am still self-medicating. Psychedelic & especially dissociative rcs are my doc. I have an interesting trip report to post here in a little bit.































































































































































































































































































I've been around here for close to ten years ... used to have an account but I don't remember the login info or have access to the email I used to create it. I posted a few trip reports & ramblings here & there but wasn't really too close with any of you. I have matured a bit & changed a lot in the past few years after a few really rough years & have some things to contribute so you might be seeing me around for a little while.







I have about 25 years of poly-substance abuse under my belt with varying degrees of intensity. These days it has mellowed out a little bit but I am still self-medicating. Psychedelic & especially dissociative rcs are my doc. I have an interesting trip report to post here in a little bit.











I've been around here for close to ten years ... used to have an account but I don't remember the login info or have access to the email I used to create it. I posted a few trip reports & ramblings here & there but wasn't really too close with any of you. I have matured a bit & changed a lot in the past few years after a few really rough years & have some things to contribute so you might be seeing me around for a little while.



I have about 25 years of poly-substance abuse under my belt with varying degrees of intensity. These days it has mellowed out a little bit but I am still self-medicating. Psychedelic & especially dissociative rcs are my doc. I have an interesting trip report to post here in a little bit.
Click to expand...
 
Same here. Was lurking a while back idk how long ago. Years. Trying to find a visual how to light an roll a pipe lol and it led me to this site.
 
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