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Long time lurker, I am happy to finally have joined.

GoShredAK

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 19, 2016
Messages
26
Hello blue lighters!

I value this place quite a bit. Through my drug addled addiction ridden past I have come here countless times for various advice.

I have been an addict since age 14 when I started drinking and smoking weed.

I am now 30, I don't drink anymore because I cannot handle alcohol due to damage from benzo dependency and a near cold turkey withdrawal.

I and my wife are currently addicted to heroin, we love weed, and also smoke meth pretty often.

I have done these drugs;

.meth
.heroin
.pain pills
.several benzos (ativan, Librium, valium, klonopin, xanax)
.shrooms
.spice
.salvia
.kratom
.cocaine
.weed (though I don't consider it a drug)
.alcohol
.that's all I can think of at the moment.

I used to be a bad alcoholic and I am very lucky that didn't kill me. I made so many horrible mistakes while drunk. I even got in a terrible car crash where I was ejected from the vehicle and thrown over 100 feet.

I got past that and no longer drink.

Then I got addicted to benzos, primarily xanax and klonopin. I was cut off and barely able to taper, so I went through a hellish scary withdrawal. It sucked, I thought I would never be ok again, and it's a miracle I never had a seizure. The worst of the withdrawals only lasted about 2 weeks, but the PAWS is still with me. I took my last benzo a little less then a year ago.

After that I got addicted to kratom. At first I thought the stuff was amazing, until eventually I started to get sick without it. It was kind of a pain in the butt, but minor compared to benzos.

Now I am currently addicted to heroin, we smoke usually a point up to 1/2 gram a day. Every day now for at least 3 months. If we go a day without we get sick. We haven't gone 2 days yet so I don't know how bad it can get yet.

We have been on H before a handful of times and quit for small periods of time. It has always taken us 3 days to get through the acute withdrawals then it becomes a primarily a mental struggle.

This time I believe we are deeper then ever I believe. The withdrawals are more unpleasant and come on faster and stronger.

We also smoke meth whenever we can get it, usually we chase it with some H and get a speedball going. I can hardly handle meth by itself because of my anxiety/panic disorder, but I am becoming more tolerant each time.

In my mid 20s I didn't have these problems. I used to be sober (aside from weed and casual drinks) workout every single day. I was a spiritual, positive, health nut, athlete. I was in excellent shape, eating vegan, training MMA, skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, living good.

That is the real me. Not the person I am now. The person I am now does not exercise, I eat like total crap, and every day is all about getting that next chunk of Heroin and doing whatever I can to get through another day and not get sick.

It is getting very old and my wife and I are determined to quit once and for all.

We can't do it cold turkey so I have been trying to put us together a withdrawal kit. I have finally acquired a small amount of methadone and suboxone and we actually plan on attempting the jump the day after tomorrow.

This is what prompted me to join up. I know not in this thread, but I am hoping to post a thread in the appropriate forum asking for advice on how to quit utilizing 16mgs of suboxone and 30mgs of methadone.

Anyway, there is my intro! I hope I haven't broken any T&Cs....I really appreciate this place and am excited to start participating as an active member!

Thanks for reading:)
 
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