Living Poetry

[New]

This poetry I write is about
This poem that I carve
I need to write it now
Or my sickness'll make me starve

I'm clawing, boring
at the core
of my lounging helpful self
Where once stood a man
Of criminal staure
Lies a desperate, needy elf

Chipping, cracking
Adjectives stacking
Removing my ore
Then, collapsing.

NO! I'm NOT DONE YET!

All bets are off
It'll end when it ends
Some of you scoff
But my life doth rend
Shearing my fur to
Make this heard
This meatbag the paper
It's juices the words

MORE! I WANT MORE!

But master, please,
I've no more lead
I sculpt anymore
And I'll surely be dead
Superior, please
I beseech of you
Though my words be short
They also be true

I'M NOT HERE FOR THE TRUTH!

Then, sir, pray tell
Why do you stay?
I do not spin lies
It's just not my way
But I won't spin much more
If you push for too much
I'm falling apart here
On the canvas I touch

I'm sorry, good man
I can't shred my hope
And package it for you
And bind it with rope
I won't sell my heart
It's just not my way
This work is my life
So I bid you good day

 

[wastedwalrus]

WOW. That's amazing. I think we all can relate to that feeling of being enslaved by a poem we are writing... trying desperately to craft it. You compare the poet metaphorically to a craftsman or a carpenter of sort and it seems like you compare the poem to a slavemaster or a boss.

It's just a very sprung poem with extremely powerful diction. "Sprung Rythm" was first used by Gerard Manley Hopkins, most likely in "Pied Beauty". It feels to me like the meter you chose resembles sprung rythm which is an amazing feat... few people can do that without making the poem sound awful.

Instead, you made the poem sound great. I love it.

 

[New]

Thank you very much.

I actually forced this poem out of me as hard as I could, until it flowed. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

[colicolo]

wow. this is an excellent flow of words that cause the brain and soul to spasm as one. very cool

 

[Baker]

I love this, this is like graffiti coming out of the wall