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little advice would be nice

Those quotes are amazing!

The second one really rings true with me. I had to accept that I was going to have to be uncomfortable physically, and emotionally in order to achieve what I wanted. It has gotten easier, but I think the only reason it has gotten easier is because I have accepted the fact that I am not always going to be happy, or comfortable.
 
I agree with that. Im stuck in the mud right now cause things are so bad i wanna be comfortable and happy cause ever since well forever ive been unhappy. I think my addictions and recovery are all part of the miserable life ive had. Since i was 10. I had a couple good years in high school where cheerleaders were fighting over me and i was really well. But i understand the premise better than most bc my recovery from druga and alcohol has been very diffucult. 10 yrs bouncing in and out of the program has kinda warped my mind. Next Wed i get to pick up 1 year medallion. Ityll be my first. I havent been drunk in prob 3 yr but took a swig of jack on my bday last year so that counts. Drugs are something im working on. But yes, in recovery you must succumb to the fact that it will be uncomfy and frustrating and painful at times. Addicts are the tougest people i know. Society brushes them off as weak people who need substances but i see brave people who try the rocess of kicking which comes with unpleasant things. Brave people. Even people who live in a box and get their iv water from puddles are brave to me. Half those people would recover too if got the help they needed but their brush aside. Its sad cause those are the people dying from od and improprer nutrition and unsafe using tools and methods. All i really wanted to say is that i want comfort and joy. Ive suffered enough. I guess that puts me and risk for using bc im unwilling to be uncomfy and sad anymore. I will end with this. Yesterday was a horrible day wrought with depression and anxiety and some suicidal thoughts. Kolonopin saved me from 3 panic attacks and my chronic pain was thru the roof. So in all this even the Mike of a month ago would have self medicated and i didnt even think about it. I went to my shrink and talked it out. Progress not perfection.

So this applies to you Opie. Recover wont be roses. But the reward are sweeter then you can imagine!!
 
@closeau,
congrats on your medallion! what an accomplishment. i'm amazed and impressed.

i don't mean to hassle you or anything, but thought i'd comment on one thing in your previous post: you mentioned that the swig of JD you had on your birthday "counts" with respect to your recovery (and i assume how you count clean time, etc.). obviously, you gotta count what you count, and my hat's off to you for toeing a hard line. but remember your advice from a few posts above: there's no room for shame here.

obviously, it's your call what's ok and what's not. i was just struck by a kind of shamed tone when you wrote that. be kind to yourself. hell, man. you've got a year clean! that so far outweighs any kind of little lapse.

ok, no more sermons from me. just keep being awesome.
 
Thanks Simco!! I appreciate your kind words. Im def ashamed of that night. I knew way better at that point and didnt even want it. My ostomy went nuts as soon as i drank it too so i spilled it out. At least i know i got a year off alcohol and 3 since i got drunk bit im not gonna pick up the medallion. I havent really been going alot lately and dont wanna be that guy who shows up just to get a chip.

Secondly i dont feel i deserve it. Ill PM you and explain but by AA standards i def should get it. I just dont wanna mislead people on this site who seem to care like you. What i say is the truth as i see it to all i talk to but theres special folk like you so ill shoot over and PM you. Thanks for the post Simco!!
 
^^^
that's cool, @closeau. i totally understand not want to pretend... i did so much lying when i was using (not sure i've earned talking about it in the past tense yet, but whatever). i hated that so much. so, yeah, it feels good to be completely up front.
 
progress above perfection. Never has that statement rang more true to me.

I am not going to lie. It took me four years of trying so many different things to quit opiates and have a decent amount of clean time under my belt. The two biggest things that led me to relapse were shame, and boredom. I had to take up hobbies and learn to forgive myself in order to move forward.

Closeau: Forgive yourself man. You are only human, and we as addicts have changed the way our thought processes work. Its going to take a while to get it back. I still have days in which I obsess about using, but I forgive myself those feelings anymore.
 
The only shane imo would be to give up trying. You both are doing awesone were human. I tried last November and gave back in after days. This time I have no desire to live through detox again. After November I felt like such a letdown I went on a mdma binge for 8 days followed my a ketamine and heroin binge. Then meth. Basically the shame of failing almost killed me
Your both doing so great❤️ And if we all fail we do. Hopefully not but if it happens just take something from it and try again. No one trying can be faulted
I hope your both doing well✌️
 
It's going great. On day 12. Had a bit of craving last night cause the pain was crazy but it's getting better. My new puppy is quite the awesome distraction❤️
 
Congrats Seetyjane!! Seems like from your earlier post youve overcome a lot. I cant imagine coming off that stuff. But 12 days is great. Distractions are always good. We all know how hard it is to kick. Toothpastedog, you the man. Ill get at ya later. Congrats Sweetjane. Keep it up and dont give up!!
 
Yeah, Jaa is doing awesome. I'm so proud of her!!! Now that she has a therapy puppy, her recovery is really gonna take off. Animals are so helpful when it comes to promoting mental and physical healing and recovery generally. I can't wait till my girlfriend and I move in together, because she has the sweetest, weirdest, most handsome kitty in the world :)
 
closeau said:
I misspelled your handle twice. Sorry
Click to expand...


I misspell everything all all the time no worries. They can't teach us grunts proper English cause people might talk lol
and yes they are doggy. Better then most people lol. And congrats on you and ya gf shacking up. I have such a way with words eh ��
 
My own morning wood baby! =D From first hand experience, I know Jamie appreciates it, pun intended ;) 8)

Man, humor is soooo important to a constructive, positive recovery. You're so awesome Jaa, I hope you stick around SL even after you've finished your acute withdrawal and you begin finding success in your personal life and accomplish some of your current goals. I have so much fun joking around with you on BL :) <3
 
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