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little advice would be nice

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FatCatOpie

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 10, 2016
Messages
67
Hi guys

Ive been hooked on somethin for the last ten years since was 16. Started with weed about a quarter a day from the beginning (with two buddies,don't think weed bad at all). Went to alcohol drank obscene amounts everyday for 7ish years mostly liquor.
Dabbled with hydro's the whole time only once every month or so. But about a year n half ago I quit drinking and started doin 60mg oxycodone ir a day. However after a month long run in with fake/fent percs it raised my tolerance I'm now on 130 mg oxycodone a day(last month n half or so). If you read few other post of mine you'll know this has not been pleasurable for me in long time.

I've made up my mind I'm quitting. Would it be better to go cold turkey or short sub taper. In the past when I tried cold turkey I would like mentally break on day one or half way threw day two and decide I'm going kill myself so if I'm goin die I might as well use. Pathetic I no. As far as my experience with sub I could take 1 mg first day or two then drop down to .5 mg a day. It wasn't fun but took care of most the withdrawal I couldn't sleep hardly any but no puking or other fun stuff. I've done this up to 12 days once and 7 days a couple times. But every time I quit the sub I would be using a day later day n half at most. So I'm not sure what's best even tho I'm doing it this time. Is it possible to skip withdrawal with a short sub taper or am I just prolonging the inevitable? So guys thanks again a few answers would be awesome and I guess I'll start a post tomorrow about how it goes for help and accountability buddies lol.
Or should I go to a dr office and just be honest don't really have a normal dr but seen one few week ago for the flu seemed nice. Can they help ease withdrawal do they normally help in this situation? I have very legit knee pain I would like help with but not in form of opiates because even at my normal dose of 130mg they still hurt just as much as without it. Guess if I go I can let him no about that.

Thanks a lot everyone who answered
 
Do you have insurance? If you have the resources, you sound like an ideal patient to get on something longer and more stabilizing like a methadone maintenance program. And please be as honest as possible with you doctor(s) as you can. Do you have a therapist? Have you ever experienced any kind of trauma? Do you have any kind of support group in your actual life? BL is amazing, but it's not a stand in for real life help.

People be kind and gentle to yourself, go to bed earlier, get up later, eat more food, drink more water, get more exercise, read more, watch more movies, listen to more music, do whatever it is that helps you. There is so so so so much more to life than getting fucked up and fucking yourself up. The cycle of using gets really tiresome, if you've relapsed so many times, wouldn't you agree?
 
toothpastedog said:
Do you have insurance? If you have the resources, you sound like an ideal patient to get on something longer and more stabilizing like a methadone maintenance program. And please be as honest as possible with you doctor(s) as you can. Do you have a therapist? Have you ever experienced any kind of trauma? Do you have any kind of support group in your actual life? BL is amazing, but it's not a stand in for real life help.

People be kind and gentle to yourself, go to bed earlier, get up later, eat more food, drink more water, get more exercise, read more, watch more movies, listen to more music, do whatever it is that helps you. There is so so so so much more to life than getting fucked up and fucking yourself up. The cycle of using gets really tiresome, if you've relapsed so many times, wouldn't you agree?
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No I haven't had insurance since I was 17 unfortunately. Besides other week the flu thing I've not been to dr in like three years me and the flu dr didn't talk about anything other than the flu. Few years ago I went for high blood pressure(prob from drinking) and anxiety I am to honest I guess. I told them about my drinking so they said I wasn't a candidate for benzo's but was fine not my thing. I did however try 4 ish different depression medication they all made me a lot worse. I gave them each more than a month to work was awful almost cost my life. Few made it worse at least two made me well you know. Any way between that and my dr wanting me get on disability I never went back.(don't think anything wrong with anyone who needs it to have disability at all)

I seen a therapist for about a year same time I was goin dr. She couldn't give meds but talked to my dr. After a while she just straight up ask if she was helping didn't feel like she could do much for me and wanted me go see a specialist. So between that and her wanting me get on disability I quit seeing her as well. Have I ever experience trauma? Who hasn't I guess. But yes my fair share.(doesn't feel fair but that's life I don't need a hug) but sometimes I feel like I might lol.

I have a wonderful wife who thank god has no addictions and she tries to understand and is as supportive as you could expect a wife with no drug experience to be. She is awesome tho she don't always get it but I can and do tell her everything and she's stuck with me 8 years so far so she's my best and almost only support. I have other family but some of them helped mess me up and the rest know and it's no big deal to them. I kind of feel like it's them and me we talk and are nice but I tried being real with few of them even my mother and theirs fake concern but don't feel no real help is available from them. Before my dad died when I was 14 he was awesome support and my grandfather died few years ago he was just as good as my dad but gone now. As far as friends I don't really have any just drug buddies thought some where friends for years but nah they just stuck around cause I normally had the hook up. And tried way to hard make them like me buy them all kinds shit/keep them well even when I had do less than needed.

Sorry so long lol just answering your question thoroughly. And as far as a sub dr or methadone no I can't afford it at the moment. Can't really afford my habit anymore don't no how I kept it up this long I've been on my last leg for about 9 months now but I always manage to come up with it somehow lot of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul ( never wronged or hurt anyone to score) about two weeks ago I got 30 roxi 20's I started to count em but guy said they all their he promised but said I got go his wife coming home. So I left when I got home I counted them and I had 50 instead of 30 so I called the guy and told him took them back the next day. All my friends said I was stupid but made me feel like less of a addict lol. I could of got away with it he was beyond messed up probably would of never known but even tho he didn't give me extra for being honest I'm happy I took them back because he died few days ago. Would have messed with me if I kept them n he died. Anyway sorry again so long lol.

Thanks for the response
 
Quitting opiates after habitual use is an extremely difficult thing to do. It's difficult because it's a painful process both physically and psychologically. It will bring the strongest man to his knees, so don't think that it's weak or pathetic to have emotional struggles during the process. Feeling depressed, if not suicidal, is completely normal. It's also difficult because the process of returning to "normal" feels like it takes centuries, yet all it takes is one split-second bad decision and you're back out to get more. A lot of people don't ultimately get clean until circumstances force them to (dealer gets arrested, literally run out of all money, legal reasons, etc) just because it takes an insane amount of dedication and will-power to quit on your own. Once you've got a few successful quits under your belt it does get easier, as you gain confidence that time will heal the pain you're in. The first time you quit a big habit is always difficult because of the fear and uncertainty.

How much responsibility do you have in life? To work, to family, to other responsibilities...? If you have a lot of it, then I'd certainly suggest a taper. Even if you don't, I would still suggest a taper, but you could cold-turkey it if you wanted to finish it in the absolute minimal time for certain symptoms. Suboxone/Subutex/bupe is effective for many people, but not everyone. Some people (like me) don't get much physical relief from it, while others say that it does nothing to stop psychological cravings. Still many others can take it as soon as they start to feel really sick and feel almost completely healed, well enough to keep on living life. There's also kratom as a detox option. I think kratom works better than Suboxone, but the downside is that getting kratom to detox from an agonist teaches you how to get kratom (which can become a problem for anyone with a taste for the opiate high). loperamide can be bought over-the-counter as Imodium, and this can help reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms (though this won't help the average person nearly as much as bupe or kratom). There's the option to taper down with the oxycodone to a very low daily dose, and with maximal time between doses, so that when you do jump off the withdrawal is much less severe. But this is NOT easy for most people (though maybe your wife could take your pills and taper you down with them?).

Just try and stay as busy and distracted as you can over those first few days of detox. You're going to crave it and think about it and you're going to do battle with some pretty severe depression. This is all normal and will lessen in time if you keep with it. Try not to set too many goals for your detox, lest you feel worse and not accomplish them (and feel bad about yourself for not doing such). Just try and make it to the other side of the physical withdrawal, and then you can hit the ground running as you start living your better life free of the physical addiction.

People will tell you that getting clean is the easy part and staying clean is what's hard. You will want to punch those people at the peak of your physical withdrawal, but they do have a good point. Once you start to feel better, using even once is almost surely going to lead you back to square one. All of that time spent detoxing will be for nothing and you'll just have to do it again. If staying busy was important during detox, it is absolutely necessary for early recovery. You have to keep yourself so busy and distracted that you just don't have the free time to let your mind convince you that you deserve one more time.
 
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RedLeader said:
Quitting opiates after habitual use is an extremely difficult thing to do. It's difficult because it's a painful process both physically and psychologically. It will bring the strongest man to his knees, so don't think that it's weak or pathetic to have emotional struggles during the process. Feeling depressed, if not suicidal, is completely normal. It's also difficult because the process of returning to "normal" feels like it takes centuries, yet all it takes is one split-second bad decision and you're back out to get more. A lot of people don't ultimately get clean until circumstances force them to (dealer gets arrested, literally run out of all money, legal reasons, etc) just because it takes an insane amount of dedication and will-power to quit on your own. Once you've got a few successful quits under your belt it does get easier, as you gain confidence that time will heal the pain you're in. The first time you quit a bit habit is always difficult because of the fear and uncertainty.

How much responsibility do you have in life? To work, to family, to other responsibilities...? If you have a lot of it, then I'd certainly suggest a taper. Even if you don't, I would still suggest a taper, but you could cold-turkey it if you wanted to finish it in the absolute minimal time for certain symptoms. Suboxone/Subutex/bupe is effective for many people, but not everyone. Some people (like me) don't get much physical relief from it, while others say that it does nothing to stop psychological cravings. Still many others can take it as soon as they start to feel really sick and feel almost completely healed, well enough to keep on living life. There's also kratom as a detox option. I think kratom works better than Suboxone, but the downside is that getting kratom to detox from an agonist teaches you how to get kratom (which can become a problem for anyone with a taste for the opiate high). loperamide can be bought over-the-counter as Imodium, and this can help reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms (though this won't help the average person nearly as much as bupe or kratom). There's the option to taper down with the oxycodone to a very low daily dose, and with maximal time between doses, so that when you do jump off the withdrawal is much less severe. But this is NOT easy for most people (though maybe your wife could take your pills and taper you down with them?).

Just try and stay as busy and distracted as you can over those first few days of detox. You're going to crave it and think about it and you're going to do battle with some pretty severe depression. This is all normal and will lessen in time if you keep with it. Try not to set too many goals for your detox, lest you feel worse and not accomplish them (and feel bad about yourself for not doing such). Just try and make it to the other side of the physical withdrawal, and then you can hit the ground running as you start living your better life free of the physical addiction.

People will tell you that getting clean is the easy part and staying clean is what's hard. You will want to punch those people at the peak of your physical withdrawal, but they do have a good point. Once you start to feel better, using even once is almost surely going to lead you back to square one. All of that time spent detoxing will be for nothing and you'll just have to do it again. If staying busy was important during detox, it is absolutely necessary for early recovery. You have to keep yourself so busy and distracted that you just don't have the free time to let your mind convince you that you deserve one more time.
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Thanks for the reply really appreciate the help. I'm thinking about going with sub taper. I'm just worried that with the low amount I do it's not exactly pleasant but it's way better than cold turkey. But I'm afraid I'm goin have a few ruff days on tapper then when quit I'm goin be in full blown withdrawal. Guess I'm afraid it's just going stretch out agony. As far as tapering with pills I don't see it ever happening Tried it a lot. If I knew sub wouldn't just prolong the inevitable I would try them again. I am a lot more ready to quit this time than I ever been. Also a lil worried about goin back to the whiskey don't want to but keep thinking if I just stayed drunk for couple weeks I'd be good but that's what got me in this spot. (If I do these pills for few weeks I won't drink) well guess it kind of worked lol.

thanks again
 
I'm sorry about my response, I was much colder than I normally am - rough evening/night. Stick around and hopefully we can help you with something else. Wishing you the best :)
 
I just hit day 7. Cold turkey. You have it in you and you want to stop. The biggest step. Be honest with your doctor, they need to know. I was diagnosed with ms and everyday hurts but I will not go back to opiates. It almost ruined my life and took a lot from me. I see my doctor Friday to figure a pain plan minus opiates. I know nothing about subs but the week before I quit I cut my oxy down from 100-150 mg to around 60. If you can trust yourself a taper problem would be easier. I thought the physical was worst but the mental was hell. It gets better and just think when it hits that it's not tempary. It's the drug. Use that pain to motivate you to not go through this again. It's a great motivator for me
i truly wish you the best. This site and the people helped so much. If you ever feel sad and alone send me or a mod a pm. When your sad and alone kind words from someone can bring you out of that "I'm an awful person I wanna die" stage
you can do this��
 
toothpastedog said:
I'm sorry about my response, I was much colder than I normally am - rough evening/night. Stick around and hopefully we can help you with something else. Wishing you the best :)
Click to expand...


I had had no problem with your response lol.mthanks for replying.
 
Thanks for the response Jane. I'm for sure going need help have a lot more determination going to bed with a few pills in ya then with waking up with nada.
 
Good morning guys. I'm freaking out. I want to quit still but ahhh semmed so much less scary when I had a few last night. Not been up 30 min and I can't quit thinking about getting some which should be easy right now except I would have to overdraw my account which I don't want to do. I don't no what to do the mental shit hist me so fast I kind of get a fight or flight feeling. Except it's just a got to get them now feeling. Any advice/ someone talk to would help a lot right now
 
Man guys I'm freaking out bad already made up my mind don't matter if I go negative in account. I don't want do this(keep using) . I think my anxiety make withdrawal worse I'm not even feeling sick yet took last dose 11 hour ago. But I'm freaking fuck out my brains like I need it I need it now think it's because I know I'm tryin quit. This sucks monkey balls. Well I'm going hop in shower n get ready plz someone be here to talk when I get back I think I'm goin fuck up
 
i might ba able get some not sure(a friend had some few day ago but she does em like I do my percs). Congrats on being day seven sorry it's been ruff. Sucks my wife had go work early today left alone with this sucks
 
Well guys I'm sorry I let myself my wife and you all down today. Jane you helped me so much today sorry I wasted your time. My mind is well a bad place to be right now. I have no excuses I fell weak. Guess on the bright side their is no money to do any tomorrow but the bad thing is I've been in that situation before and I spazz out and do something stupid to get the money .like sell stuff from deceased family that I love more than most. I hate this me. I will not sell shit tomorrow I'm going do this. But I always I I'll do good when I feel good. Anyway respected u guys enoug to let ya no. Not sure if I will post again or not don't want waste your guys time. I will beat this one way or the other.Thanks to all of you so much
 
You did not waste my time at all:) you will try again and you will get over this someday. I wish you nothing but peace of mind and happiness. You will get sick again when you run out and eventually you'll get sick of being sick. I just hope it don't take too much from you before you do it. It's fucking hell I found more so mental then physical (hell still). I'm at a week and today was so awesome. I'm starting to feel like myself before years of numbing with drugs I thought I was going to crack a few times but I was sick of being sick when not taking oxy so I pushed through. You want to so you will��
 
You're fucking amazing Sweetjane77!!!! You've accomplished so much, I hope you will spend a bit of time reflecting on how capable you are. If you put in the effort, you can achieve not only your goals, but so, so much more :)
 
Fatcatopie, i feel for you my man. I commend you for wanting to get clean. That the first step in the right direction. Unfortunatly without insurance ityll be tough. I personally think methadone is poison but people swear by it. Ive done the sub thing twice. Last time was recently and she gave me enough to help with the wd and taper immediatly so i dont get hooked on bupe. It didnt really work. My situation is different cause i have massive chronic pain so need opiates but problem with taking them as prescribed has been tough but i am now but back to you. Dont listen or waste your money on all that wd remedy shit. There is no remedy for wd. It sucks no matter what you take. I would really taper if you can. I know that sucks too but its the best way to get off opiates. You know exactly what your in store for if you go cold turkey and like was said all those horrible feelings are normal. You could try immodium. Ive had success with it in the past. Ityll stop diahreah and its a weak opiate or in the opiate family so if you take latge doses it will soften the symptoms a bit. Its good you got a good wife. Treat her well. I wish i had one. Once again, i salute you for wanting to kick. Bro if you can kick opiates you can do anything. Idk you at all but i believe in you and i have no doubt youre gonna do it. Just remember no matter what anyone says out here there is no remedy for opiate wd. Good luck bro
 
Well, there are very, very effective medical treatments for acute opioid withdrawal. There is actually no reason anyone should have to suffer the hell of cold turkey, as there are so many medications out there that any doctor could easily prescribe. Problem is 90% of doctors and professionals don't know what the fuck they're doing. Times are-a-changing, but the vast, vast majority of professionals out there are still working in the dark. It's really very sad, when that information on how to avoid all the unnecessary suffering is right out there and easily accessible to any lay person.
 
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