• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Life outside Opiates.

Droop

Droop

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2002
Messages
982
Location
wisconsin
Well its been about a month now and i still feel the sameway as i did when i stopping using opiates. The world feels so boring and i have basically no motivation to do anything. I try to keep myself busy(which is hard) and all that runs through my head is, "this would be a whole lot better with some oxy" or such things as simple chores like cleaning the house,"this would be alot funner and easier with some H." Basically another hard part to this is i dont enjoy other drugs as much as i enjoy opiates, so that makes things a bit harder.
The lack of opiates have seem to bring a bit of depression and unmotivation to my life. It seems to be getting worse everyday instead of getting better. My opiate use wasn't all that bad, i kind of drew the line when i would wake up every morning and the first thing that would pop in my head would be, doing the oxy 80 in my drawer or finishing my bag of heroin. I didn't want to call it dependence at first but when it came down to it, thats what it basically was.
I basically eased myself off of the habit and really didn't have any withdrawal symptoms except for waking up super early or my body would start to sweat at random times. The temptation is always there and many thoughts always race through my head like, "its not so bad being addicted to opiates." But if any of you have had a similar situation as me, i would like to hear your input and how you dealt with the situation. Right now i am going to skateboard and see where my mind ends up.
 
Hey man, I'm right there with you. Today I have a month and a day clean of opiates. I was way outta control with heroin, fentanyl patches, and oxycodone. I went cold turkey and got pretty sick. After the physical sickness went away I still had this lingering mental torture that went on for weeks. I wasnt really having cravings but I just felt completely empty inside. Hard to explain. Anyway, I scored some xanax, my true love, a few days ago and since then I feel great.
I never should have strayed from my benzo habit. It's much cheaper and much more manageable than my opiate addiction. Instead of waking up sick everyday and concentrating on nothing cept scoring a few bags of dope, I wake up and pop a few pills. I went from spending $100 a day on drugs to about $6 a day and I dont wake up sick. Also I dont have to chase dope sick junkies all over the state trying to score my fix.
I love opiates. I just hate all the baggage that comes with'em.
Good Luck.
And substitute. If you dont find something to make you feel better you'll most likely go back to opes.
 
I find it helpful to do little home improvement projects (they have to be little, as i'm not very good at it). Moderately hands-on stuff that I can't do if i'm nodding keeps my busy mind occupied, and includes the perks of a sense of accomplishment (when i don't fuck something up).
Besides that music helps me tremendously. I play guitar, and as much as i like to try to when i'm on drugs, it's easier when i'm sober. Once again, something hands-on to keep me busy.
Hopefully i'm not sounding too lame. I know it's hard. For me, a lot of the time i'm really not happy with the way my life is going. But i find comfort in little things. And after all, everything else is pretty much composed of little things....
I like to do drugs. I like to do a lot of things though. And like you said, there's just a point where you have to draw the line.
 
maybe youre just thinking way too much about it and only focusing on the good sides...
just today i saw this kinda good link..
dependance
put more attention on the downside ...or something...
you are sort of trying to idealize the whole proccess... and its drawing you back..
errr what do they say.. thoughts become things...
sometimes i just think do i really wanna spent this time on earth mostly fucked up...after a while of using you get more strained and the high is not as good cause it becomes too much of a rutine.. try a least to make more breaks between ... occasionally it helps..
i love opiates too .. good luck ..
[ 14 July 2002: Message edited by: placid space ]
 
A'men brotha! Ring it out loud and clear! I can deal with the 'kick' .. leg pains? No problemo! Liquid comming out all holes in my body? Bah! It only phases sissy baby girls... depression make you want to kill yourself and go as far as to start looking for a way to pull it off? Yeah, I do it a few times a month!
But that god damn bordeum.. I mean, once you have went through all the withdrawals and you're living a sober life, it's just that bored-nothing-to-do vortex that will suck you right back into getting fucked up.. hell, I know I have lots of constructive shit to do in my neck of the woods, but only because I havedrugs... jesus, you want to talk about crazy - when I was sober I was only about a day away from lighting my leg on fire using a flammable liquid in order to cover my lower leg with 2nd and 3rd degree burns so I could cope narcotics... I wouldnt ha ve even entertained the notion had I been high and in my right mind!
 
Droop, I feel your pain. It sucks when you go clean from opiates. You never really feel the same again. Time just goes by so much slower when your not getting on. I'd stick to skatin & try to find other things to do so you can try to keep your mind off of opiates. If you don't all your gonna do is drive yourself crazy and hate life. Opiates are the greatest when your on them, but, when you try and kick them it blows. Good luck...
 
Thanks for the input guys. PhreeX about the whole "burning your leg" thing. I have a friend, in which her dad poured some sort of acid on his hand to get oxycontin, so i guess your thoughts weren't alone in your whole self mutalation thing. As for me, i am still keeping busy and trying not to think as much, but the fact will always haunt me that "everything" would be better with opiates.
 
I've found that the key to opiates is moderation. It may be hard to do, but after I kicked my daily OC habit(100mg+) and hadn't touched anything for about a month, I made a 3-day rule. The rule being that I would only take Oxy once every 3 days. Tolerance doesn't build as fast, and if I go a week without doing any, I don't get any withdrawal symptoms(except for the ANNNOYING boredom).
 
Im pretty much goin through the same thing. Im tryin to stay off of heroin, but i can't take it. I keep fuking up and using like once a week, and i can't afford it cuz im on probation and already supposed be in jail. I get tested by my PO twice a week, and if i get caught using once, im going to jail 3-5 years. so basically after my test on thursday, i run down a grab a bag of dope, and im clean by next test. I can't completely stop. So for now im just gonna keep doin it once a week. but after im off probation, i don't want a habit, i just want to do it enough where i don't get sick. how often can i do heroin without gettin sick? ohhhh...the site of that red blood shooting in the needle..
 
The reason I started using heroin full time in the first place is because it gave me the ambition to get in the gym and the appetite suppression to lose weight I’ve always struggled with. That and the desire to know what it is to be addicted and yes, even to know what going through withdrawal was. But the reason I wanted to lose weight was because I had dreams and goals that had nothing to do with getting fucked up, that heroin seemed to consume. And now that I struggle with getting off of it, I mean fuck, it’s pretty hard to decide what month you’re going to feel like shit through, I am still reminded once in while of the dreams I had before hand. And those things are the drive to finally get off it once and for all. I was with a girl when I started this whole mess, and using heroin drove her away because we were supposed to keep it friends(by my choice), but me under the influence could not sustain a/the relationship. I started to get jealous or just feel for her to much and it threw off the balance between us and fucked it all up. Now, I think back to the time we had together and I want nothing more. Not a lifetime of pure opiate bliss can compare to one session of making love to her. Not even close. And if I can’t have it with her again, then I’ll find another girl to be with. So I will kick this shit and get back to desiring the thing I truly want the most………….PUSSY. Well, almost. But the fact is, there is so much more out there that is unachievable while using dope, at least for me. I know it’s hard to think past total contentment and even conceive travelling that road out of its grasps, but it is possible. And there are things on the other end of that road that cannot compare to getting fucked up. They require time and commitment to achieve, and that makes it so much easier to just keep using. But I will do my best to know that pure bliss is coming at the end of my life, and there are things I want to do with my time here that I can’t have unless I stop. For me, I’m fucking sick of it. I’m sick of being depressed even when I’m high as hell on it. I know for a fact that I will NEVER be happy while it is in my life. And I want to be happy again. The only time I was reminded of what being happy was, was during the only time I kicked and was off for around 10 days. The person I was before the addiction and the stable emotional state was returning, but because of ironic factors, I went back. You guys are talking about being a month away from using and I dream about being away from it that long. Don’t give up, it’ll get better.
 
I don't preach! :) Hell I used everything and anything.
Everyone is different. If you really want to stay clean go to a few NA meetings
or if NOTHING works methadone is an option (you must read about it, it has alot of side effects, I wont get into)
or maybe you dont want to stop yet, which is cool as well
the longer you stay clean the better the buzz is when you go back!
but if you want to STOP check out the groups, they help with the boredom.
Its up to you!
There is a lot of help, both abstinance (NA) and harm reduction (just cutting down, but not stopping)
GOOD LUCK!
[ 18 July 2002: Message edited by: cheeky_half ]
[ 18 July 2002: Message edited by: cheeky_half ]
 
Ah yes, I feel those with a IV addiction. I just recently gave mine up when I started banging various non-recreational substances just so I could see it go into my vein after the bright red draw-back. However, I just recently started using a lot of heroin, started with IV of course, but then I decided to stay away from needles, which I think makes an addiction a lot easier to break. You only have the addiction to the drug instead of the drug/needle. I know I am stating the obvious, but I had to get in on this one as I will end up in the same situation if I keep using every day.
 
i don't personally iv drugs, but this "addiction to using needles" thing you guys are talking about seems very interesting. i used to have a decent oxy habit and before i stopped i realized that 90% of it was simply watching the line dissapear from under me. it was the same with adderall. i just wanted to snort something.
this phenomena seems to be a very interesting aspect of drug use. other people have described similar habits to me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top