Life and recovery and stuff

I haven't posted much on Bluelight much lately. Mainly because I've been so sick with benzo withdrawals. I'm now completely off my clonazepam, and I'm down to 20mg's of diazepam a day. It's the worst withdrawals I've ever experienced, with nausea, dizziness, tremors, hot and cold flushes, sweating, muscle pains, and even seizures. I blacked out a few nights ago while watching TV and woke with a paramedic beside me! Apparently I had a full tonic-clonic seizure and severe tachycardia.

Because of all this sickness I haven't been able to score as much meth as normal, which I think is a good thing. I'm now about 4 days clean from meth, although I have been smoking a fair amount of weed instead, and I'm taking dextro-amphetamines to help with the meth withdrawals (the local drug & alcohol service refused to prescribe them to me, so I had to look elsewhere).

I've also started seeing Lydia (drug_wench) again, and we've spent most of the past week together. We love each other but we've agreed to take things more slowly this time. She's doing really well. Apart from one slip-up on her birthday recently, she's been off meth for 2 months! I'm really proud of her for that, and it gives me a boost to get clean too. It may take time, but I'm confident I'll be off meth for good one day.

 

This makes me proud of you!

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your seizure P. Even the thought of something like that was reason enough for me to get away from benzos before I got too badly hooked. All I got was rebound anxiety and some palpitations. You sound like you've been able to drop your dose a lot though, which while not worth a seizure, at least is good to hear.

Good on you for working on getting off meth too. It helps to have a bit of IRL support, and I smiled when I heard that you and d_w are spending time together again. You're making good strides, and I look forward to hearing more good news from you in time.

Best of luck to the both of you!

 

Im sorry to hear youve been so sick that sucks . But i am very glad to hear that your getting off benzos and have also been laying off the meth as well. I am VERY fucking proud of you for that! I was worried about you for awile because i hadent heard from you but now i can put my mind at ease more or less.

I know how hard this must be for you but keep it up. Your one strong person to be able to give up benzos and hardly use meth at all either since they are your 2 main addictions . You told me you wherent as strong as me once. You fucking liar

 

sucks to be so sick but you got through it and i am so glad to hear that, overall, you're doing better and hanging in there
-izzy