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lets share your stories of life in prison and cop shop cells (happy sad shocking )

mattnotrik said:
Anyway the other lad assumed the obvious...
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Hahaha!!!

If we're telling "banged up abroad" stories - My mate got arrested in Mexico for pissing in the street. Clearly one of those 'slip him a few quid & be off' numbers but he was wrecked so they took him to a cell & locked him up with a drunk geordie boy (Brits abroad! lol), he was there for 3 days in total. Everyone else on holiday eventually found out (I can't remember if he made a phone call or if they decided to try & find him after a couple of days missing) but they basically had to go down the police station & pay some stupid amount of cash to get him out. They deliberately left him another day, just to be wide. When they busted him out he wasn't even bothered, he'd been quite happy sitting there getting a laugh with the geordie boy & the coppers. He actually didn't want to leave, as he didn't want to leave his new mate on his own lol. He's the sort of cunt you could drop out a helicopter in the middle of Baghdad & by the next day he'd be sitting in a house playing cards with a team of locals who couldn't understand him.
 
mattnotrik said:
Could go into detail but ill make it short, 2 of my mates got caught with a few pills abroad and sent into the station, they werent co-operating (pissed up messes, and just dropped about 1 hour previous), anyway they just chucked them in the cell straight away for a while and one of my mates was mouthing off and resisting, trying to get out the door etc, anyway the guardia civil where not in the mood and decided to give him a swift beating, anyway my other mate was a fell cells down and all he heard was horrifying screams of "no please no not this noo" blah blah, he ended up with a fractured wrist after getting on the end of a police baton. Anyway the other lad assumed the obvious in a pilled up state "im about to be bummed and my hoop left gaping by these huge coppers, im next" and burst into a frenzy and was trying for his life to get out some tiny 1x3 window, they even let them keep there phones in there cells and we recieved a phone call at about 10 in the morning to screams of him asking for help.. not what you want on the tail end of a 12 hour bender...anyway they where both let out, signed a load of forms they couldnt read, in court the next day still extremley fucked and got away with it, not even sure what they got charged with. The police came to the hotel though and went into there rooms looking for passports etc, must have missed the bong and other stuff, anywya youd think theyd have better things to do than that, and some people say ibiza is very lenient towards drugs.

They where out though for about 40 mins and decided to have a few spliffs on the beach on the way back, had to ditch the green in the sea as more civil pulled up, could have been worse. I remember reading a few american stories they had a few funny ones, (crystal meth binges and all).
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How do they get away with behaving like a third world shithole? Giving out beatings seems absolutely mad to me in the 21st century. One of my friends was smoking a spliff with a huge guy in a stair well of flats on a rather notorious London estate. In walk 2 pigs, see the 6ft 4 black guy and smell the skunk, out come the asps (WTF, why?!). BACK BACK. Huge guy rips the asp from one of their hands, savage beatings given to both policemen. As soon as the first blow hit a police officer my mate was running while his friend was just kicking off taking a decade of hate out on these poor cunts. I have friends who are pigs and they do what I can only describe as passive aggressive beatings now. They cuff you behind your back in the car, and periodically slam on the brakes.
 
^ The Civil Guard in Ibiza aren't actually coppers, they're like army. They routinely smash fuck out of cunts with truncheons. I've always made a point of avoiding them completely, I don't think I've ever even had a conversation with one. As soon as they rock up & anything slightly dodgy might possibly be going on the best plan is to make a swift move in the other direction.

I've watched them chasing the lookie-lookie guys about the west end one night, making no attempt to arrest or search anyone just swinging truncheons at them while they ran away in all directions.

The wee guy from our apartments one year was trying to get us to keep the noise down on our last night, saying that the locals who live in the next building will phone the cops & we don't want that happening. My mate tryna be a smart arse "How? What they fuck they gonna do? There's 15 of us & we're going home in the morning anyway. Fuck them. They're no taking me to jail" Wee Spanish guy (nicknamed 'Crazy Juan') "Not arrested" then motioned with his hand like a club hitting your head with a genuine look of concern on his face as though - If the cops get called & get this attitude these boys are getting a proper kicking.
 
Yeah the Guardia Civil are not your average police officers, how true it is I don't know but my dad always likes to tell me a story about visiting Ibiza during the Franco era and if they found you asleep on the beach and weren't up and getting off there in a very small period of time they would start shooting their guns into the air.... They don't fuck about.

I saw them give an absolute pasting to a rugby team on a uni sports tour, they had stole one of those coin operated noddy car things you get outside supermarkets and were carrying it down the road presumably to their hotel, Guardia Civil roll by jump out give them an absolute beating then make them carry it back to where it came from.

My brother has a prison related story but it's really not that amusing and i've just finished a night shift so can't really be bothered to type it out at this moment in time.
 
Yeah I wouldnt exactly say they are the nicest of people, seems like they go looking for trouble, or maybe there just sick to fucking death of people louting about, been to ibiza a few times and my friends been on the recieving end of them twice. When my mate fell over and onto a table a few glasses shattered and severed huge cuts in his neck, we where all going ballistic as he was sat on a chair by some bouncers and bleeding pints out his neck, we all thought he was dead basically and there was about 200 odd people crowding round to see what was happening (was near the west end, mambo'ish) anyway the guardia civil turned up before the ambulance and they thought it was some sort of fight so juts started batton charging the crowd of people, it wasnt just a "move away" it was single officers chasing people all the way down roads trying to snap there legs etc, anyway all in all they are cunts and I dont know how they get away with it....
 
mattnotrik said:
Yeah I wouldnt exactly say they are the nicest of people, seems like they go looking for trouble, or maybe there just sick to fucking death of people louting about, been to ibiza a few times and my friends been on the recieving end of them twice. When my mate fell over and onto a table a few glasses shattered and severed huge cuts in his neck, we where all going ballistic as he was sat on a chair by some bouncers and bleeding pints out his neck, we all thought he was dead basically and there was about 200 odd people crowding round to see what was happening (was near the west end, mambo'ish) anyway the guardia civil turned up before the ambulance and they thought it was some sort of fight so juts started batton charging the crowd of people, it wasnt just a "move away" it was single officers chasing people all the way down roads trying to snap there legs etc, anyway all in all they are cunts and I dont know how they get away with it....
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When you go this year I think it might be worth pulling out the ol' camera phone on the bastards. That'll soon sort it out. As soon as you release that video it'll get international attention, and if they think tourisms gonna be damaged then they'll have to do something?
 
All it'll sort out is your camera, which will be smashed to smithereens along with the aspirant moviemaker.

Dotted around in low places all over Spain are one-time British dealers, who learned the lingo and lost their marbles during their long sentences after they were nicked. A walking deterrent to any
UK visitors with ideas.
 
I've spent 6 hours before in a cell in me boxers after beating the shit out of some junkie scumbag who tried to rob me at knifepoint, well I thought it was a knife it was actually a pair of scissors.
Not good when you just managed to nick the biggest ashtray out of a pub either.
 
ponch said:
Yeah the Guardia Civil are not your average police officers
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They're more in line with how they are on the continent, makes you laugh though when someone screams here 'police brutality' when they haven't even got the slightest what brutality actually means like at the students protests...
 
dunno if its the same in the uk but here in the states it seems as though once you get into general pop in any prison or the larger county jails racism is back in force... the whites have separate water fountains, phones, showers, dinner tables etc from the blacks and mexicans. the crazy thing is that its enforced by all the other inmates, not the guards! but the guards seem to tolerate and accommodate for it, they wont put folks from different races in the same cells together, etc. i know people who are normal on the outside, do business with anyone, not racist at all but have white pride/power tattoos from when they did time. can anyone explain this phenomenon to me? is it just as usa thing?
 
I think it's way more of a US thing, as are gangs generally, but I only say that as a limey who's never been in jail and watched a handful of US prison documentaries / read various books which touch on the subject.
 
When my brother arrived at HMP feltham he we asked whether he had any requests they may be able to undertake for him, he asked to be put in a white only cell. The prison has a bit of a repuation for race related tension so just wanted to fly under the radar. If I remember correctly there was a black and a white pool table at recreation times although this didn't seem to be an exclusive rule.

Some newcomers arrived thinking they were the bollocks exclaiming it was their go next on the tables, not understanding or perhaps caring about the hierarchy of the situation. It didn't end well for them.

He also mentioned the clothes they provided managed to make you stink like you had not washed for days within about an hour of showering and having a fresh set on.

I could probably mention some amusing stories of strange cell mates he nearly lost it with as they were just plain odd (getting up at 4am to do weird shit) but that could probably compromise his privacy.
 
yea the first thing i was asked by everyone when i went into general pop was "are you a wood?" meaning peckerwood, apparently thats what white folks are called in prison, i told them i was white and locked up and they said that was good enough, this was in alameda county jail, the same jail for the city of oakland so the place was huge like a state prison and at least 90% black, so out of 8 or 12 showers and phones and such we dozen white folks had one of each to share. i just think it's strange that no one's racist outside of jail but as soon as they go through booking its like a time machine into the past. a lot of it has to do with gangs i suppose and when you're locked up and everyone has to wear the same clothes your skin color is the only group identifier left. just seems crazy to me.
 
dryg said:
dunno if its the same in the uk but here in the states it seems as though once you get into general pop in any prison or the larger county jails racism is back in force... the whites have separate water fountains, phones, showers, dinner tables etc from the blacks and mexicans. the crazy thing is that its enforced by all the other inmates, not the guards! but the guards seem to tolerate and accommodate for it, they wont put folks from different races in the same cells together, etc. i know people who are normal on the outside, do business with anyone, not racist at all but have white pride/power tattoos from when they did time. can anyone explain this phenomenon to me? is it just as usa thing?
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From watching prison documentaries, like Jancrow, the whole aryan thing in prison seems to have stemmed from whites being heavily outnumbered and needing to band together for survival or even just a better life. A few hardcore fundamentalist racists run it, but if you want to survive and you're white the blacks sure as shit aren't going to help you, neither are the hispanics. Just how if you want to survive and you're black the whites won't help you and neither will the hispanics. It all seems very tribal to me, and I think it's probably just blacks getting their own back on whitey for racism on the outside in a very misdirected way. Making sure that different groups don't have to share the same facilities seems to just be common sense though. In a perfect world they would all get along, but lets not forget these are prison inmates and at least some of them deserve to be there. These will all be areas of conflict where a white can't be seen to be patiently waiting for a black on the phone, or a black can't be seen waiting for a white at a water fountain. The same thing seems to happen in South American prisons with different gangs and stuff too and they are the same race. It's a pretty stupid state of affairs, because i'm sure 90%+ of all the inmates just want to get their heads down and do their time.
 
dryg said:
a lot of it has to do with gangs i suppose and when you're locked up and everyone has to wear the same clothes your skin color is the only group identifier left. just seems crazy to me.
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That sounds about right to me. The anachronistic, outragous and disgusting level of racism in US prisons always seems kinda bizarre from the perspective of someone living outside of the US whose only insight into your penal system is through tabloid TV shows. I know the US has way more overt racism in general than we have over here but it seems pretty extreme even by US standards. I think you may well be onto something with that "only remaining group identifier" thing. Especially as even gangs who'd be killing each other in a heartbeat on the outside work together on the inside cos they happen to have members of the same race.

Tribalism is a terrible thing but if it's all you've known growing up then it's not likely to just disappear cos you happen to get a custodial. That bunker mentality bullshit is gonna be channelled one way or another and - as you say - skin colour is an obvious option. Especially in a country with pretty full-on racism still rife at all levels of society even now - not to mention how deeply ingrained and even legally-sanctioned racism has historically been right up until very recent times.

It's a shame that unfortunate tribal instinct isn't channelled into something a tad more useful to the unfortunates inside. Like maybe realising that every inmate is basically in the same boat and they'd be much better off looking out for the interests of each other altogther rather than allowing the system to divide and conquer as is currently the case. It's no wonder the prison guards are so in favour of playing up, reinforcing and actively encouraging the racial divide on the inside - not only makes their job easier but also provides a handy outlet for them to live out any racist fantasy urges they'd have to suppress in civilisied society. Lynching may've been banned a while back... but that definitely doesn't apply in the US prison system I suspect :\
 
There's a whole different dynamic when people are serving the sentences handed out like candy in the U.S. If you're serving 6 months or 6 years, you probably do want to 'get your head down', avoid trouble and not jeopardise your remission. But if you're there all the natural day, prison become your life and your world. Weird shit.

According to popular legend, the Aryan Brotherhood began when outnumbered white cons decided to band together and make it harder for hardcore blacks to make the weakest - and prettiest - of their number into punks and train-pullers. Doesn't bear thinking about. If you're British and have to do time, thank your lucky stars you'll be in one of our cosy little nicks and, no matter how badly you behave, the worst that'll be thrown at you is a walk in the park compared to the nightmare of a U.S underground supermax.
 
Shambles said:
That sounds about right to me. The anachronistic, outragous and disgusting level of racism in US prisons always seems kinda bizarre from the perspective of someone living outside of the US whose only insight into your penal system is through tabloid TV shows. I know the US has way more overt racism in general than we have over here but it seems pretty extreme even by US standards. I think you may well be onto something with that "only remaining group identifier" thing. Especially as even gangs who'd be killing each other in a heartbeat on the outside work together on the inside cos they happen to have members of the same race.

Tribalism is a terrible thing but if it's all you've known growing up then it's not likely to just disappear cos you happen to get a custodial. That bunker mentality bullshit is gonna be channelled one way or another and - as you say - skin colour is an obvious option. Especially in a country with pretty full-on racism still rife at all levels of society even now - not to mention how deeply ingrained and even legally-sanctioned racism has historically been right up until very recent times.

It's a shame that unfortunate tribal instinct isn't channelled into something a tad more useful to the unfortunates inside. Like maybe realising that every inmate is basically in the same boat and they'd be much better off looking out for the interests of each other altogther rather than allowing the system to divide and conquer as is currently the case. It's no wonder the prison guards are so in favour of playing up, reinforcing and actively encouraging the racial divide on the inside - not only makes their job easier but also provides a handy outlet for them to live out any racist fantasy urges they'd have to suppress in civilisied society. Lynching may've been banned a while back... but that definitely doesn't apply in the US prison system I suspect :\
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The feeling I get is that the prison guards there would much rather these issues didn't exist. Having to clean up the mess of a stabbing every other day, having to watch your arse cus every inmate seems to have a homemade knife of some kind, and just a general hardening of the prisoners against everyone including you, seems to make their job all the harder. Most end up working there because it's the only jobs they can get in the weird and remote locations they seem to put a lot of prisons. I also get the feeling in the UK that although there is a lot of hatred between prisoners and guards, we are now beginning to get a point where there is at least a slight acceptance from either side that we are all human.

Rape seems to be a much bigger issue in American prisons. I think I could go the rest of my life with just my hand for company and never turn to sticking it to a man.
 
Rape in prison really does seem to be a very common occurrence in American prisons where in the UK it's quite rare I'd say.
I do think that UK prisons are starting to have bit of a problem with gangs but not really on racial lines, more like different gangs from the same city.
I've spent time in UK prisons but would no way want to go inside an American prison, they really do seem to be proper hate factories.
 
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