let me breathe.

[rewiiired]

Just come, take my head away
can't deal with thoughts today
its the static between life and I
it grows thick inside my mind

and its suffocating me, I want to
understand, but I still need to breathe
and I can scarcely recall the last
time I took in some fresh air, so please

bring me back down to the simple,
to the here and now of lighter experience,
undissected and blissfully immedeate,
bright and free as the child inside the years

have abdandoned and stuck
in the dark of my shadow
along with the authentic smile
I know I once had owned

I refuse to believe he's left.
Why now is he hiding from me?
All I tossed, I know he kept.
Child, could you let me breathe?

 

[katmeow]

This really has a stream of consciousness feel about it... you've very much created the atmosphere of the rush of words coming out with a desperate need for a breath of air.

Nice one

 

[kytnism]

i love how emotive and exhausted this piece portrays itself... very real, concise and deep... very nice work...

...kytnism...

 

[cherub]

this makes me want to take a breathe of fresh air,, it like i think so many have felt in this life time. we all just want to breathe

 

[yakksoho]

I love the flow of it, it reads like thoughts behind closed eyes

 

[vurtomatic]

This is really excellent.