Leg

[vurtomatic]

So we lay in bed
Beside aside side by side
Your leg draped over mine
A pale physicality that connects

If only I can reach you
through this coinciding flesh

You weigh down on me
Like the sinking in my heart

Somewhere I suffocated
Somewhen we loved
This moment, side by side
This pale tenous bridge of flesh
We are connected

You pushed me aside
And stared ahead at the TV
That drowns my voiceless protest

This piece of flesh between us
Pale and tenous, coincidental
We are connected

And I've forgotten why

 

[plazma]

This is a very raw, stark feeling poem, which seems to almost relentlessly dissect the emotions behind a captured moment in time. Its a beautiful and mildly heartbreaking piece of work, and the imagery works so very well.

*edit* You're probably right UAN, I use the word 'raw' just in the context that it felt very real.

-plaz out-

 

[up all night]

^ Raw isn't a word I would relate to this piece for some reason. It has tangible emotion but it's understated, it's smooth and polished. Obviously that's only my opinion though! This is wonderfully written and definitely your style, vurt. Your writing always seems to sigh rather than weep.

 

[katmeow]

Vurt, your writing always makes me feel. This is no exception.

Beautiful

Your writing always seems to sigh rather than weep

That is the perfect analogy.

 

[yakksoho]

Astounding
You describe something simple and physical (atoms touching) in words that defy nature

Somewhere I suffocated
Somewhen we loved
This moment, side by side
This pale tenous bridge of flesh

There is order in a universe that seems like chaos
Bridges in the transparent nets of air between matter

 

[(Wordy)]

The lines yakksoho has quoted are incredible (I was going to quote them myself, then I read down the thread...!)

Looks like you haven't lost your edge either, vurt! I've read back through a few of your other more recent poems. You have a truly distinct voice: fragile, otherworldly, emotive, exquisite.