captainballs
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2004
- Messages
- 9,954
for the people who are comfortable with their decisions, what kind of last day would be ideal? To keep the guilt about loved ones issue away I just rationalize that I won't feel anything at all, much less have the capacity to experience any sort of memory or guilt about doing it. So I've pretty much decided what is going to go down. My list isn't really fair since I've already done the first two:
1. Give $1,000 to a co-worker who has three children and because he has to work so much his wife left him and his kids don't think he cares because he's out there supporting them instead of spending time with them. he used some of that money to take them shopping and to take family photos. he gave me a picture from that day and i keep it with me every day.
2. Tell all of my coworkers how wonderful they are and give the owner a well-deserved pep talk about where his leadership will take the company. After that I tried to resign but he wouldn't let me, even though I gave him a lot of reasons to fire me.
3. Tell my gf I love her and to stay strong and beautiful (she already knows I'm going).
4. Take a lovely amount of opiates and go eat some seafood.
5. Go to a beautiful area where the dirt and grass are soft during the evening and dig a shallow hole while the sunset makes the clouds look really nice.
5. Give the coordinates of my GPS location to 911 and tell them that there's been a suicide.
5. Do it, beforehand imagining what the other side might look like and going with the flow of my exit so I can really experience it.
I am excited about the end of this half. It will be the best day of my life, and in my pocket there won't be a suicide note, just that picture of my co-worker and his family enjoying their time together. People like that with so much capacity for feeling deserve so much more. I wish I could afford to do that for everyone who has a good heart and kids, but finances are tearing them apart.
1. Give $1,000 to a co-worker who has three children and because he has to work so much his wife left him and his kids don't think he cares because he's out there supporting them instead of spending time with them. he used some of that money to take them shopping and to take family photos. he gave me a picture from that day and i keep it with me every day.
2. Tell all of my coworkers how wonderful they are and give the owner a well-deserved pep talk about where his leadership will take the company. After that I tried to resign but he wouldn't let me, even though I gave him a lot of reasons to fire me.
3. Tell my gf I love her and to stay strong and beautiful (she already knows I'm going).
4. Take a lovely amount of opiates and go eat some seafood.
5. Go to a beautiful area where the dirt and grass are soft during the evening and dig a shallow hole while the sunset makes the clouds look really nice.
5. Give the coordinates of my GPS location to 911 and tell them that there's been a suicide.
5. Do it, beforehand imagining what the other side might look like and going with the flow of my exit so I can really experience it.
I am excited about the end of this half. It will be the best day of my life, and in my pocket there won't be a suicide note, just that picture of my co-worker and his family enjoying their time together. People like that with so much capacity for feeling deserve so much more. I wish I could afford to do that for everyone who has a good heart and kids, but finances are tearing them apart.