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Last dance with Mandy

Rabbit

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
2,296
On the next full moon I'll be taking my last dose of MDMA/MDA ever. I have maybe 150-200mg left total out of a batch I've been saving for over a decade now. I would really like to do it with someone else but I'm going to take it alone.

If you had one last roll what would you do? I plan to go hiking but trying to think of other fun stuff to do while I'm there. My plan is to take it once I reach the top of a local mountain. Then I'm going to sit up there, take a re-dose and stay for 3-4 hours (maybe longer). Going to bring old ipod with some music I want to hear on MDMA for the last time.

I'm still hoping that someone random might meet me on the trail and I can gift them 100mg so I can roll with someone else. Whomever is there and willing when I start the 10 mile hike up going to have a lucky day I guess. Plan on smoking a bunch of weed (haven't smoked in months) and take some kratom on the come down.

I'm hopeful I'll figure some stuff out along the way. This drug has always been kind to me. I wish I would have taken it socially more often. I think this will be my 5th or 6th time taking it alone. Wish I could take my cat along but I'm terrified he'd get lost and he hates riding in cars. I don't think I'll ever be able to find MDMA/MDA of this quality again. I lost the connection I had for it locally. I wish I would have saved some more instead of wasting some on alone trips at home at night. I'm making a point to take it during the day/sunset this time. Last time I did that it was really really nice.

After this is gone it's the last of my "hard drugs". I finished off the last of my LSD a year or two ago now (bottle wash). I ate the last of the shrooms. All the RCs I saved up are long gone (wish I would have saved the 5-meo-mipt and not given away so much of the other stuff). No more DPT or DMT either. I had a large supply and I gave most of my shit away for free (save the DPT). If I'd known MXE would vanish I would have saved the grams of the stuff I handed out for nothing. :(

Going to stay drug free for awhile and wait to see if run into a group of like minded users again in the future. Wouldn't even know where to start looking for them these days no idea where the parties are at (and I felt old as fuck the last few I attended anyway lol).
 
Are you stopping just because of a lack of access? Also what nation are you in?

I roll with such frequency to where I have never thought about a final roll, but I'd probably spend it meditating and journaling tbh.
 
It's more like I'm stopping because I don't feel like I'll need to use it for a long while. My past 4 rolls have been spread over the course of 10 years at the moment. I'm in the process of slowly quitting all substances. Next to go is kratom. After that tobacco. After that caffeine.

But I wouldn't be opposed to taking MDA again if it were offered or if I randomly found access to it again somewhere. Just like I won't be opposed to the odd smoke or opioid after I've spent some years away.

The goal is to not let the substances have control over me. In time I might start to cut out certain foods as well (I already have really). I'm trying to do the mind over matter (urges) thing I guess. I feel like I've done that with MDMA/MDA now. So I'm going to have one last good time with it out of what I have left in the freezer.

Edit: I should have mentioned. I've been slowly training myself to reach mindstates I used to use drugs as short cuts to obtain. I'm curious to see if I can obtain the same kind of mindstate I get from taking MDA from simple meditation. Probably not. But worth a try. I'm to the point where I feel like I've learned all I need to know from substances in other words.
 
I like to sit in a comfortable space. listen to music. dose in the morning so it stays with you all day.
I don't miss the days of having to go to a crowded space like a festival just hoping to find a e pill. and then having to be around people when things got good or got uncomfortable because I'd take too much or it be tainted.

Music is good. some beers is good. weed is good.
 
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