Ladies- that oh, oh, too much feeling?

[_mistresspoppy_]

I hope I'm not being to graphic in this description- mods please edit/delete if needed
When my fiancé is in the mood for foreplay, he sometimes uses vibrators on me. Its enjoyable, but he inevitablly gets bored with gentle motions. He likes to "trap" my clit right against the powerful vibrator and I'll yelp "stop! Too much"and he asks if it hurts. No, I say, it doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good either. It is like a sensation of heat, combined with butterflies in the stomach, a "dropping" feeling, like a roller coaster. He refuses to stop, and holds me squirming in bed like that for 10-15 minutes, after which I feel exhausted, drained and in no mood for sex.
Has anyone else had a simlar experience/feeling? His theory is that if he continues the stimulation,I'll have a mind- blowing earth shattering orgasm and will worship him as my sex god. But then he gets bored, and I'm Exhausted. I don't dislike the Feeling- it's just "too intense" to be really pleasurable.
My question- has anyone out there had a positive experience from this? Does it really lead amazing release? Or should I tell him to quit wasting time and get to the good stuff?

 

[Raz]

I am not a lady, but....I don't think it matters whether this is awesome for anyone else or not, if it isn't good for YOU, then that's all that should be a concern.

I don't get why he is continuing after you have asked him to stop? Maybe he thinks it is an overwhelming sense of pleasure? I dunno. Whatever the reason though, if it doesn't work for you, there is no shame in telling him that...if he knows that you are actually legitimately not enjoying it, he needs to stop doing it.

 

[footscrazy]

I'm female, but a guy explained it as the feeling of anything touching his knob after he'd come, that way too sensitive feeling - that sounds like what I experience in the situation you described, _mistresspoppy_. Maybe if he can associate it with that, he'll understand more what you mean, I dunno.

 

[MyFinalRest]

^actually that's a good camparison I think. If you find it uncomforatable, I seriously doubt it will lead to anything even resembling an orgasm.
You should just get over the bullshit and discuss this with your partner and if he doesn't respect your wishes...

I never understand how people are still too shy or uncomfortable to let their true feeling be known to the person they are actually having sex with.
"Honey, I've seen the dingleberries on your asshole, that means we can talk about anything"

 

[llama112]

I'm female and that happens to me as well. I just make my bf stop then because it is uncomfortable. I can't offer much advice because I am very confused about it as well. I can just say that I have had similar situations.

 

[sara_wifer]

I saw this news report about vibrating panties sending someone to hospital-
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05/18/vibrating_knickers/

The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why.

I have some my best friend gavee, it s my first ever toy, but not that brand/colour. Mine are not pssible to wear outside of home or people notice the reaction i have.

 

[-Kitten]

You need to tell him BEFORE he does it thatyou don't like it and it drains out the sex drive for that night and ect... but like go into detail try to get him to understand you hate it.

Sometimes though I do get that feeling and my fiancé won't stop... which is fucking annoying but i get over it and just let him do it that way i please him... and since it isn' really painful... i kinda deal with it.

 

[lola]

I feel very grateful that my man, despite whipping me when I require it, knows to treat my very sensitive clit with nothing but the gentlest of touches/licks. I do know that some like it rough down there, and I had to explain to one BDMS lover that genital pain was OUT, even though he can put clothes pegs on my nipples and belt my back all he likes.

So... communicate! And if he won't listen to you or respect your wishes I think you should either do the adult thing and sit him down and tell him it's UNACCEPTABLE, not cool, that it's not pleasurable and never will be (I actually go numb after a while with over-stimulation, then I go sore) and that it is arrogant and presumptuous of him to assume he knows your own body better than you do. Life is not a porn flick and women are not robots. I mean, where did he even get the idea from? Friends' stories? An ex-lover? He needs to be more respectful. Or... you can do the more childish thing and inflict uncomfortable sensations on his penis while giving him head, preferably while having him tied up, to drive the message home! There is nothing wrong with you, everyone is different and this is a very sensitive area. Personally, I only like vibes on the lowest setting and not for too long. x

 

[Mystril]

I'll yelp "stop! Too much"and he asks if it hurts. No, I say, it doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good either....

His theory is that if he continues the stimulation,I'll have a mind- blowing earth shattering orgasm and will worship him as my sex god.

Hey there poppy,

If your fiance - let's call him the Purveyor of Unwelcome Nonsensical Theory (or PUNT for short) - continues to invest in his baseless ideas upon your person, at the expense of your feelings and physical state, then his selfish side, despite a fiance's wish to always see only the good in someone, should sound some alarm bells for you.
If he is so selfish when it comes to intimacy & sex, how long before this manifests itself in other areas currently unknown?

Best advice is to simply sit him down, as others have so adroitly suggested, and discuss with him that when you say NO, that it actually does mean No ... that it brings you no pleasure at all, in fact, the opposite, and that if he loved you and cared for you as he claims, then he will respect your wishes in this regard.

How a 'theory' of continually applying uncomfortable stimulation to someone, in some vain hope that he will be seen as an all encompassing sex god, at the expense of the feelings and desires of the one he's supposed to love, will somehow give you an earth shattering release the likes of which you've read about for years, is totally, absolutely beyond me.
How much are you prepared to go through - or more importantly, expected to suffer through - to prove his theory wrong?

Tell ole PUNT that if he continues to ignore your requests, that you may have to reluctantly re-examine the nature of the sexual part of your relationship at least, because if you cannot trust your partner to respect your wishes in your most private moments, where he should be totally cognizant of everything that means anything to you, then it's a bit much for him to expect you to let that trust flow to other areas not as intimately bound.

 

[lola]

^ Haha, agree with every word, funny and beautifully written! Go girl

Edit: ahem, I mean go boy

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

I feel very grateful that my man, despite whipping me when I require it, knows to treat my very sensitive clit with nothing but the gentlest of touches/licks. I do know that some like it rough down there, and I had to explain to one BDMS lover that genital pain was OUT, even though he can put clothes pegs on my nipples and belt my back all he likes.

So... communicate! And if he won't listen to you or respect your wishes I think you should either do the adult thing and sit him down and tell him it's UNACCEPTABLE, not cool, that it's not pleasurable and never will be (I actually go numb after a while with over-stimulation, then I go sore) and that it is arrogant and presumptuous of him to assume he knows your own body better than you do. Life is not a porn flick and women are not robots. I mean, where did he even get the idea from? Friends' stories? An ex-lover? He needs to be more respectful. Or... you can do the more childish thing and inflict uncomfortable sensations on his penis while giving him head, preferably while having him tied up, to drive the message home! There is nothing wrong with you, everyone is different and this is a very sensitive area. Personally, I only like vibes on the lowest setting and not for too long. x

Very well put...from the way he acts, I would actually go with the latter suggestion - make him feel how you feel, if he's acting so childishly.

What he's doing is ridiculous, I',m a dude and I know how it feels to have the head of my dick overstimulated - it fucking feels WRONG!! Do it to him and then explain why you did it, and what you expect of him.

He's acting like a psycho.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

What he's doing is ridiculous, I',m a dude and I know how it feels to have the head of my dick overstimulated - it fucking feels WRONG!! Do it to him and then explain why you did it, and what you expect of him.

He's acting like a psycho.

LOL totally agree; it sucks to have to pull someone off your dick because you came and you're way too oversensitive right after you jizz... but it's nicer to pull them off than to start feeling horribly intense sensations in your dick!!!

 

[xeros]

hi mistresspoppy, i think your boyfriend deserved a good slap from you. for refusing to stop when you asked him to, most disrespectful to you. i personally wouldn't like messing with toys, i prefer good honest sex with someone. flesh to flesh, not messing about with toys.

 

[artic]

Male here, but yeah I don't really like being touched after I've come. I would say it is probably a comparable feeling. I take great pride in my oral technique, and the last fling I had she tended up come really quickly (quicker than I would have liked, anyway) and shove me off. She said later I could continue as long as I stayed away from her clit, but after an orgasm it was too sensitive. I would have liked to spend some more time downstairs, but wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable. It is all about communication and respect. If there aren't both then you are going to have problems.

 

[Ninae]

Worshipping a guy as a sexgod doesn't really have so much to do with him giving you a mid-blowing, earth-shattering orgasm. It has more to do with his ability to generate an irrestistable, magnetic, sexual attraction. And the one thing will tend to lead to the other. At least that is my view of it. For men, the idea of a "sex-godess" has more to do with visual perfection and ability to create physical pleasure, I feel. For women, it's more to do with generating emotional intensity and desire, and that's what leads to giving into a a man.