Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I've been searching all over this forum and have yet to discover anything conclusive on this topic.
So a little background. I started using kratom about 2 years ago. I loved, and still love it. I got physically addicted very quickly, since I started using it every day almost from the start. However, since I had a ready supply, I didn't realize it until I'd been taking large doses 1-3 times a day for over 6 months. Then, I decided I had fucked up my credit card balance enough, and decided to quit. I was unprepared for the severe and disturbing withdrawals I experienced. That episode sparked a period of depression in my life that took a long time to recover from. Mostly, all I could do was lay in my bed on the verge of panic and tears, knowing I had no reason to be depressed but unable to help it. To make matters worse, sleeping was impossible and I got virtually none for 5 days, due to extreme restlessness of the limbs (I just had to thrash about when I tried to be still, very strange).
Well, after day 5, I was back to normal physically, but I had ordered kratom during the second day of withdrawal and it arrived just as I finished detoxing. So I started again. Of course I got addicted again. I withdrew again, but tapered off this time so it was easier. Then, last summer, I had a lot of cash so I decided to get some more kratom to have some summer fun with, and of course I didn't moderate my usage as I told myself to, and got addicted again. About 6 months ago, I reached the peak of this depression that was caused by unrelated factors but exacerbated by the kratom addiction, and I broke free of it with self-induced psychedelic therapy. I withdrew again for exactly 5 days, which was terrible, but I was able to put it into perspective.
But I ordered more, reasoning that I hate alcohol and love kratom, and I wanted something to use from time to time. Plus, I love it for coming down off a psychedelics which I use occasionally. I was very good about it for a while, using it only on the weekends. But soon enough, I began craving it more and more, until I started using lower doses 2 times a day. very regularly. About noon and 6:30pm every day. This was up until two days ago at noon - my last dose. I had ordered more, but it turned out to be on back order and will be coming in two weeks. So I'm going to have to withdraw, and in fact yesterday afternoon, 24 hours after my last dose, it began. It got bad last night, and will probably get worse. I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to help ease it? Xanax has helped barely at all, and it makes me a stumbling zombie besides. I hear loperamide can help with real opiate detox, but I don't know if this transfers to kratom, and it may just be because of the stomach issues, which I don't have. Any ideas? Please? Anything I can do to help? I can't stand sleepless nights of feeling like I'm about to crawl out of my skin, and the aching muscles.
Any suggestions? Besides not getting addicted for a fifth time after I'm clean again?
So a little background. I started using kratom about 2 years ago. I loved, and still love it. I got physically addicted very quickly, since I started using it every day almost from the start. However, since I had a ready supply, I didn't realize it until I'd been taking large doses 1-3 times a day for over 6 months. Then, I decided I had fucked up my credit card balance enough, and decided to quit. I was unprepared for the severe and disturbing withdrawals I experienced. That episode sparked a period of depression in my life that took a long time to recover from. Mostly, all I could do was lay in my bed on the verge of panic and tears, knowing I had no reason to be depressed but unable to help it. To make matters worse, sleeping was impossible and I got virtually none for 5 days, due to extreme restlessness of the limbs (I just had to thrash about when I tried to be still, very strange).
Well, after day 5, I was back to normal physically, but I had ordered kratom during the second day of withdrawal and it arrived just as I finished detoxing. So I started again. Of course I got addicted again. I withdrew again, but tapered off this time so it was easier. Then, last summer, I had a lot of cash so I decided to get some more kratom to have some summer fun with, and of course I didn't moderate my usage as I told myself to, and got addicted again. About 6 months ago, I reached the peak of this depression that was caused by unrelated factors but exacerbated by the kratom addiction, and I broke free of it with self-induced psychedelic therapy. I withdrew again for exactly 5 days, which was terrible, but I was able to put it into perspective.
But I ordered more, reasoning that I hate alcohol and love kratom, and I wanted something to use from time to time. Plus, I love it for coming down off a psychedelics which I use occasionally. I was very good about it for a while, using it only on the weekends. But soon enough, I began craving it more and more, until I started using lower doses 2 times a day. very regularly. About noon and 6:30pm every day. This was up until two days ago at noon - my last dose. I had ordered more, but it turned out to be on back order and will be coming in two weeks. So I'm going to have to withdraw, and in fact yesterday afternoon, 24 hours after my last dose, it began. It got bad last night, and will probably get worse. I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to help ease it? Xanax has helped barely at all, and it makes me a stumbling zombie besides. I hear loperamide can help with real opiate detox, but I don't know if this transfers to kratom, and it may just be because of the stomach issues, which I don't have. Any ideas? Please? Anything I can do to help? I can't stand sleepless nights of feeling like I'm about to crawl out of my skin, and the aching muscles.
Any suggestions? Besides not getting addicted for a fifth time after I'm clean again?