Illyria99
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2012
- Messages
- 4,625
It's a man's job to please us. Why shouldn't we lie there while you do most of the work? lol
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Kings of rejection holla back!
- Thread starter Get2Think
- Start date
It's a man's job to please us. Why shouldn't we lie there while you do most of the work? lol
64tf
Bluelighter
Sounds like you've got the right attitude about it. I got shot down this week too. It happens to all of us.
Haha we're a team Sero. I've seen photos of you and you seem popular with the ladies so the game plan will be you make all the moves then I'll come along and be all like "Yo what up ladies I'm Sero's main chocolate coloured man. I'm here to please, let me have a squeeze!" Fool proof plan (until they tell you that you keep bad company and you pretend you've never met me). Good luck G
rangrz
Bluelighter
Cause, both people work together, they can accomplish more. If both partners move their pelvises's in an anti-symmetric wave-like function (that is, say the girl is on top, if at the same time as she is coming down towards to the bed, the guy thrusts upwards away from the bed) the particle displacement of the particles carrying the wave (i.e. the cak and vagoo) will be of greater magnitude and relative velocity will also be greater, resulting in more force (i.e. how hard it is) and higher frequency (how fast it is) So, it will be in your own interest to do so.
Similarly, if you don't put any effort, the fellow may not be as inclined to try to get you off. It's almost like each partner should get each off, but if one partner does not, the other will just try to get themselves off.
I myself, usually don't act so petty and tend to make getting Ms.G off my #1 priority in bed, regardless of my own getting off or not. But, I'd imagine that particularly with a random hook up, that would not always be the case.
ain't gonna lie. depending how you play it off with attitude and delivery that line would be an awesome ice breaker. get the chick to laugh and its usually golden from there in my experience. wit, humor, and charm can go a long way. I ain't exactly the best looking guy but I'm hard to forget
illyria how you doing tonight? I'm cut, middle class, and love to please the girl I'm with. can I maybe take you out sometime? 
KoreyS
Bluelighter
Man I have a lot of respect for your courage and honesty. I don't think I have a fear of rejection as much as I do with social interaction in general, unless I take my medicine (alcohol). In other words, I'm a pussy. Like you said, if you swing enough times, you'll hit one eventually, but my problem is being the type to - when off my medication (not piss drunk) - avoid swinging for the ball at all costs in the first place.
When I think about it, almost every sexual expereince or relationship I've ever managed to pull in was either thanks to alcohol/ drugs or being on psychiatric medication that gave me the serotonin I needed to not be a social gimp.
Another issue for me is finding situations where I can have myself rejected. As of recently, I have started going to the gym almost religiously. It has allowed me to gain confidence and polish up on my socialization by meeting new friends there, plus reconnecting with old friends whom I'd lost contact with. Infact some times I go to the gym just to socialize and not even work out. With the music pumping, I like to pretend it's like a night club!
But as it goes right now my main tool for racking in the dames is using online dating sites and then taking a hefty dose of my medicine that transforms me into the person I want to be. This comes with it's share of cons as well though but you just have to make due with what abilities you got I guess.
I also agree with what you said about the importance of keeping your standards low. I have a peculiar taste in women in the first places. i honestly do like heftier size women and imperfections (not just saying that cause I can't get anything better) but also I am attracted to ther personality type that is more likely to come with these types of women. I like girls with low self-esteem and severe depression. I also wouldn't want any girl who every other guys sees and wants to fuck. I want her to be mine and only mine.
The harsh reality here is that men like you (poorly endowed men who are very very ugly both inside and out) don't get women unless they pay top dollar for them
Yeah Korey you make a lot of good points man and I agree about the weight lifting thing. After todays epic failure I was sitting alone at the bar thinking to myself, what the hell is wrong with me, I use to get ass, now I'm a babe repellant. I've come to the conclusion that I will back off and try my best to enjoy being single like before. This chick left me with a super sour taste in my mouth and I don't deserve this. A guy can only take so much.
KoreyS
Bluelighter
Fuck man... It tears me up to see you like this bro. It is so overwhelmingly hard to see you face this pain and agony.
I typically like relationships with the quieter girls to be honest. they are generally more down to earth and appreciative. ugh, sometimes I get tired of chasing ass and want a warm body to call mine.
KoreyS
Bluelighter
I'm so scared right now. I can't stand the idea of seeing you hurt again.
malakaix
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2008
- Messages
- 3,054
Up until September last year; i wouldn't of had the courage to approach women with the intention of picking them up.. a quality I've never been too great at. But while i was traveling i seemed to let go old idea's of how i saw myself and actually made the effort to chat with this gorgeous European girl who worked on the bar, for 3 nights in a row.. and on the fourth night we went out and found ourselves back at a hotel, granted she did ask me if i wanted to come out with her on her night off.. but it was a huge confidence boost to make the initial move and see it succeed in what would be 2 months of been together..
I respect your determination G2T.. you've got far tougher skin then i do, but this thread is a good reminder that rejection isn't the end of the world.
Its like people pleasing, you'll never know who you really are unless you piss a couple of people off.. because not everyone is going to agree with your views. - "You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Churchill
I respect your determination G2T.. you've got far tougher skin then i do, but this thread is a good reminder that rejection isn't the end of the world.
Its like people pleasing, you'll never know who you really are unless you piss a couple of people off.. because not everyone is going to agree with your views. - "You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Churchill
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Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Agreed. I get totally gutted if I get rejected (way more than I should actually haha) so I don't really go for anyone now unless I'm pretty confident I've got a chance, I could never do what everyone's describing here
This is me right here.
highhooked
Bluelighter
Hahahahahaha
34-dihydroxyphen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2007
- Messages
- 2,362
I think one of the reasons it is so difficult to find a girl to simply say "yes" to a request to take them out is the changing of the times. Gone are the days of "picking women up" at bars. You will spend your entire night talking to a girl, buying her drinks, thinking you are building a repertoire, and she will leave you without so much as a number when it's time to part ways, like a fucking crook. It's not like they know they are conning you, they simply believe that not having sex with guys who spend $50-$100 on drinks on them is the right thing to do, as having sex at bars would "make them such a slut." And that's fine, if they would feel like a slut for having sex with someone they met at a bar then they shouldn't do it, but they shouldn't accept drinks or money for drinks either if they are not planning on playing the same game as the guy funding their night. It's downright deceitful, and guys should stop spending money on it.
Gone are the days of asking random girls out where they work, or at the local community college or gym, as people in general are afraid to try new things, to take risks, and to exit their comfort zone and meet with new, unfamiliar people in their free time.
Additionally, people today are much more likely to stay in long-term relationships, so a greater proportion of attractive potential partners are unavailable. This is believed to be due in part to the AIDS scare, and the increase in education about other STD's. Why fuck a stranger with a condom when you can fuck a partner you are comfortable with without one? I also believe this to be due to the aforementioned fear of risk taking i.e. people are scared to leave a relationship where they feel comfortable and face being single again, whether or not that relationship is particularly good.
The solutions:
1. Women are more likely to have sex with people who know people they know, so expand your social networks such that you find yourself in more positions where you can make a move on available women. The key is to get one in alone in a room with you
2. Join volunteer or meet-up groups.
3. Online dating/Craigslist (neither are my preference).
I am sick and tired of rejection, and am attempting to put the first two on my list of solutions together, in order to get myself out there, but it takes a long time to form new social relationships, and volunteer/meetup groups are much more scarce and/or difficult to find since Hands-On-Miami shut down. I am still relatively socially isolated right now, as much of what I said above applies to looking for friends as well (hence the six trillion threads by people on Bluelight complaining of a difficulty escaping a cycle of isolation), but I know it will come together eventually.
Gone are the days of asking random girls out where they work, or at the local community college or gym, as people in general are afraid to try new things, to take risks, and to exit their comfort zone and meet with new, unfamiliar people in their free time.
Additionally, people today are much more likely to stay in long-term relationships, so a greater proportion of attractive potential partners are unavailable. This is believed to be due in part to the AIDS scare, and the increase in education about other STD's. Why fuck a stranger with a condom when you can fuck a partner you are comfortable with without one? I also believe this to be due to the aforementioned fear of risk taking i.e. people are scared to leave a relationship where they feel comfortable and face being single again, whether or not that relationship is particularly good.
The solutions:
1. Women are more likely to have sex with people who know people they know, so expand your social networks such that you find yourself in more positions where you can make a move on available women. The key is to get one in alone in a room with you
2. Join volunteer or meet-up groups.
3. Online dating/Craigslist (neither are my preference).
I am sick and tired of rejection, and am attempting to put the first two on my list of solutions together, in order to get myself out there, but it takes a long time to form new social relationships, and volunteer/meetup groups are much more scarce and/or difficult to find since Hands-On-Miami shut down. I am still relatively socially isolated right now, as much of what I said above applies to looking for friends as well (hence the six trillion threads by people on Bluelight complaining of a difficulty escaping a cycle of isolation), but I know it will come together eventually.
Thanks 3,4 for an excellent post^^ I'm going to be much more hesitant to break out the wallet next time around unless we've already had sex. I don't need to spend money to sit across a table from some bimbo with her head up her ass who has already decided in the back of her mind to friendzone me, but wants to ride the date out and act interested to get all she can from me w/ no intention of ever seeing me again. I've been conned a lot, and I'm a nice sensitive guy, so it's hurt deeply but I've learned from my mistakes and WILL NOT be taken advantage of or spoil any female until I know for certain there is a future, or sex.
34-dihydroxyphen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2007
- Messages
- 2,362
Definitely a good idea.
Although I do not believe the intentions of the offending female to be so nefarious. I think, that as a pretty girl, you get used to going to bars and finding that guys like to buy drinks for you. You (the girl) think guys do it just because you are pretty. Guys seem to enjoy this time around you, so you don't question their intentions. You know they want to get laid, or at the very least get to know you outside of the bar scene, but because things go so amicably every time you leave them empty handed (with neither number nor booty), you think that these guys are simply content with paying money to spend time with you. You don't realize that the entire point is to either fuck you or form a lasting relationship with you (usually the former at a bar, sorry), and that's it. Ending it at a conversation is a loss for us guys, and a waste of both our time and our money. And damaging to our self-esteem.
What these girls are doing is an entirely unintentional con. They are afraid of the potential social ramifications associated with hooking up or associating with anybody they met in a bar, which in some circles can be quite drastic, but it is meanwhile still a socially acceptable tradition to receive free drinks and a self-esteem boost every time they go out onto the bar scene, and they therefore remain mercilessly unaware of what their behavior does to the nice guy who funded their evening and boosted their self-esteem. I don't think the girls who do this are bad people (OK, some of them do do what you referenced above, and worse, but I would guess that to be a very small percentage), they are simply under the impression that the current state of things is mutually beneficial, when in reality it is all take and no give on their end, where society's rules dictate that men cannot complain about not receiving services for goods provided from non-prostitutes.
Guys need to stop spending money on the scene, as well. Yes, there is still booty to be had, but it is very few and far between, and very recycled.
The club scene may or may not be different. I really don't know, I go every rare once in a while but I've never been a big clubber. I like to be able to talk to people, and while I have a nice face, my body isn't ideal enough to compete in the club scene where the room is dark and nobody can really see the outline of your face, only your body.
rangrz
Bluelighter
I don't know man... I usually talk to people- at a bar, on the street, at school, while grabbing a coffee at work, whatever- just because I am bored or otherwise feel like talking. If I have money to blow, and they seem interested in talking to me and I find them interesting, I'll offer to buy them a drink, or a coffee, or whatever. I do it with cute girls, not so cute girls, guys, couples, whatever. I'm not aiming to get laid (I have Ms.G... ) nor am I looking for a romantic relationship when I do it. I always want to make new friends, but I'm content just talking and exchanging ideas and thoughts too. Sure, if they are perhaps interested in having a 3some with us or subbing to us or something, that is awesome and all. But it's not my primary goal and I don't feel defrauded or taken advantage of, or anything of the sort if I make a new friend or even if I never talk to them again.