Kicking Heroin with suboxone

[sunlight • remixed]

Seeking Help on Kicking Heroin with suboxone [+My Personal Story]

Hello bluelighters.

​

First and foremost I must sincerely apologize to all of you for registering and immediately asking for your help. So I'll start off Introducing myself and my addiction. I am cognisant of the fact that I have typed an essay here, and for those of you who don't want to read it all I would still appreciate it if you have any advice for me. So after writing this I decided to underline the most important information. My name is Ryan and I live in suffolk county on long island. I have been lurking these boards for a bit now and have a wholehearted respect for this website and the community. I admire all of you and the mods and creators of this beautifully designed site and large community of people of people who are willing to help others and spread knowledge. I've done most drugs including a lot of research chemicals, excluding mescaline, methamphetamine, and crack. I will never touch crack. Although I may sound like a hypocrite in the following paragraph, I'm less of a hypocrite than a failure at my own ideals.

I believe that drugs are good in moderation and can be used to expand your mind indeed, It all depends on what you're looking to get from them. If you're looking to learn from them, learn you will. If you're looking to get fucked up and escape reality rather than enhancing your reality you just wind up fucked up and out of reality. If you use for life you will continue to learn, or fuck yourself up for life. Of course you must adjust with age, and If you encounter any health problems because of them you must be wise enough to stop or drastically decrease your use. And you must always, ALLWAYS know as much as there is to know about what you are putting into your body. I can't stress that enough. A few years ago when I was finally coming out of a depression that lasted for most of my life, doctors didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me and I could be very manipulative before I discovered karma. They drugged me to all hell. I'm surprised I didn't walk around drooling and shitting myself. Every single one of them I quit cold turkey and a lot were quite addictive. All I truly needed to snap out of it was a fresh perspective, and I obtained that through using numerous types of hallucinogens and psychedelic drugs like shrooms and LSD. Surprisingly a 3 week ecstasy binge in the beginning of the summer (with my birthday and the end of senior year falling in the middle of it ) left me in the happiest state of mind for the entire summer and all into the middle of my dope addiction. I suppose the 40 some odd tabs of acid I dropped our last beautiful summer could've helped too

I have to apologize once again if I'm just spewing things you don't care about in your face, so I'll take you into my dope addiction and my current situation. I did dope for the first time this summer as well. I used to be able to do it in moderation, even if I did do it for a number of days in a row I could kick it. I took pride in the fact that I could do that, which of course is false and stricken from my personality. I can't say that I haven't learned anything from junk either. I've learned a great deal about myself and my weakness'. Nobody wakes up one day and chooses to go out and get addicted to heroin. They wake up a few months after that in a pile of their own sweat, with nothing but junk on their brain and in severe physical and emotional pain. This is when you know what you've become. Two of the main factors contributing to my addiction were as follows: I was selling about a quarter pound of trees per day at the time, and always had the money for it. The second factor leading to my addiction...I got myself prescribed 30 mg adderall and 2mg Xanax mainly because I liked them. I realized after the fact that I most definitely have high levels of ADD, and I do get anxious to an extent. The time came for my refills, so I had to schedule another appointment with my doctor. I could not get in touch with him and left a message on his machine two days before the xanax ran out. When the xanax ran out I called again and left another message explaining this as well. It was then I came up with the brilliant conclusion that I would use smack to curb my anxiety and help me to chill myself out. I would stop as soon as the doc called me back. Easy as pie. I expected this to be a couple of days, a week at most. But it never happened. Two and a half weeks later...possibly even three, we get a message that he was in the hospital and would be out of practice for a while. I told myself It wouldn't be too awful and I would get another doctor and use the benzos to help wean myself down off of the heroin. But of course, I was too doped up and high off of my ass on free reef that I just never got around to doing it, and developed a soul eating heroin addiction. Of course, one must assume responsibility for their own actions, and it is neither the doctors fault nor the fault of marijuana, and not the fault of the fighting between my mother and I at the time. Shifting the blame will help nothing and I am aware of that. I also had some rough times of sickness The addiction continued on for a few months and I've tried quitting around 20 times i'd say. Cold turkey leaves you miserable, and I could never get enough methadone to come back from my vacation to cloud #9.

So my current situation that I am coming to this great community for advice with. I am lucky in a sense that my habit has never exceeded 2 bags per day of NYC quality H, and has mainly stayed at 1 bag per day. It now floats around 1 and 1 and a half bags every day. I've also stood far away from shooting up. If I had done so I would assume I would be in a worse way than I am now, but I would appreciate it If you heavy and long term users don't undermine my addiction, although from what i've seen pretty much all of you are mature individuals here. 6 months Is a long time to use a physically addicting drug especially for an 18 year old and especially for me. It has been said that it depends just as much how often you use as the quantity . Just today karma greeted me with a surprise from a kid who once ripped me off and I never spoke to until his lung collapsed from doing too many OC's and having bronchitis and pneumonia. When this happened I was courteous enough to talk to and it lead into a very interesting conversation about life and family and drugs and everything, where his scumbag friends didn't give a shit. The only one who called him was his "best friend" who only called to see if he could get his scale back from and to ask if he had any OC's. He called me today and informed me that he had gotten 20 suboxones 8mg for me and him and whoever needs them. He's one of the biggest pushers in this town, so of course he is selling them...but any man who can help me to get me off of this shit I will be forever grateful to. Not to mention They are only $10 a piece, which may still be expensive, but not the $15's someone else informed me about today, and the $12 for 2mg's i've heard about in the past. The million dollar question is, How many of these do you guys think I would have to purchase for a habit like mine? And what action plan do you think I should take for this detox?(In terms of first dose and following doses) I have done my fair share of research from everything to the neuropharmacology of this drug to many many experiences and press releases and all types of media on the subject. I know that you should be in withdrawl first before taking it, and that you should take it sublingually. I plan on going to sleep and waking up and taking it. Because of course, my breakfast for the past half year has been in a line and insufflated. Any help you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated, and I plan on staying and helping others with their problems and becoming a part of the community just as you all have become. Thank you once again everybody, I love each and every single one of you. And for everyone going through problems, don't let them get you down. Live for the moment, and always remember that every passing second is another chance to turn it all around.

 

[sunlight • remixed]

Should I have put this in the dark side? Is that why i'm not getting any replies?

 

[swybs]

purchase all 10, use starting at 2mg for each day, not to exceed 8mg (for your small habit) on the first and second day (8 mg each day) and then 4 mg/day for the next 3 day, 2mg per day for the next 2 days, carefully breaking into 2 1mg, 1mg each day following, and then nothing. Give the remainder to a friend you can trust and hope that the post soberness blues don't drive you back to dope. The truth be told, subuxones WILL make your physical WDs relatively (key word, relatively) painless, but the hard part becomes the mental anguish following a habit.

swybs

 

[swybs]

forgot to add: note, I said get them all (and give them to a trustworthy friend) because relapse is a real possibility and it is better to be safe than sorry. Try to use the least amount necessary of subuxone (IMO, you won't catch any high from them since you are using NYC area H, so why waste them by overdoing your dose--maintain a dose that prevents sickness, and only that)

swybs

 

[JeW BaLLs]

your habbit is quite short term so a quick taper may work, but in order to get off the dope for sure I would suggest trying the taper along with going to NA meetings. If you find after tapering off you can not stand to go without dope, I would say look into getting on suboxone yourself, and going to NA. Either way, NA is a great way to build up the support group that you truly need in order to keep off of dope.

But I should probably stop being so negative now, so remember, what I have typed above is strictly an opinion based on my own inexperience. None of it is to be taken seriously, especially not if it sounds negative.
End Disclaimer.

 

[sunlight • remixed]

forgot to add: note, I said get them all (and give them to a trustworthy friend) because relapse is a real possibility and it is better to be safe than sorry. Try to use the least amount necessary of subuxone (IMO, you won't catch any high from them since you are using NYC area H, so why waste them by overdoing your dose--maintain a dose that prevents sickness, and only that)

swybs

Thank you so much for the reply by the way. I've only got enough cash for about 5 at the moment but I'll see what everybody has to say and keep you updated on my progress. I do have to ask you why won't I get high off the suboxones because of the NYC H?

 

[axl blaze]

^ well swybs was just saying that the dope must be of a really high purity, so high that pretty much no matter how much Suboxone you take you will not get any sorta buzz. Suboxone has a cieling affect at approx. 32 m/gs. you should not administer any opiate a day or two past the time you take the Suboxone, or else it fucks your world up.

if you want to get this med RX'd here is a doctor locator on their official site: http://buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_locator/dr_search.htm

 

[sunlight • remixed]

^ well swybs was just saying that the dope must be of a really high purity, so high that pretty much no matter how much Suboxone you take you will not get any sorta buzz. Suboxone has a cieling affect at approx. 32 m/gs. you should not administer any opiate a day or two past the time you take the Suboxone, or else it fucks your world up.

if you want to get this med RX'd here is a doctor locator on their official site: http://buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_locator/dr_search.htm

Wow thanks for the link! I was looking for something like that too. :D

 

[sunlight • remixed]

Oh god there is a doctor right around the corner from my house. I'm going to look into this

 

[swybs]

^^^ if you live in NYC, you may even want to go the route of some of the shadier subuxone guys, depending on your situation. Surprisingly (or not), one can find advertisements in local nigthlife papers for phone-in substance abuse treatment docs (aka, shady subuxone dealers). As for subuxone not getting you high, the powdered H in the NYC/NJ area is very strong so that even 1 bag roughly easily beats 1 80mg oxycontin in strength; that being said, your tolerance is too high for you to experience any of the "high" that some previous posters in subuxone threads have talked about.

If you can, scrape up the dough for all ten. Trust me, when that rainy day comes (and, with relapse, they inevitably do), you will be thanking this thread for having a few subuxone in hiding.

If you are really serious about kicking, disregard my posts and seriously consider a bupe program that works with a therapist. You don't have to go to rehab, but an outpatient person to speak with never hurts.

swybs

 

[sunlight • remixed]

I live on long island, so I'd say it's been passed through at least anywhere from 2-4 maybe even 5 hands before it gets to me. My cousin was my first dealer for most of my addiction and she went directly to queens every day to pick it up. Even though i made the 15 mile trip to Central Islip for her every day to grab, she is bat shit insane and horribly rude to me and 10x worse to her normal customers. I've noticed her shit was usually diesel...but since picking up from the locals who I went to high school with (the whole town I live in is addicted to dope or oxycontin even though we're a rich mid-uppermiddle suburbs) have weaker shit which allowed me to kick dope for a bit with only 10 mg methadones each day. Plus, i'm not all too psychologically addicted, It's more of the physical pain, I can't stand the dopesickness. Plus, I'm pretty good with the human psyche and my own, so I'm not sure if I require therapy. Any day when the sun is out and the clouds all beautiful and vanilla sunsets can be my dope after a few days without it....it used to be anyway. Although if this fails I will call the doctor who lives on the street behind my own and consider a 7 day detox or whatever she recommends. As long as I can find a way to not let my parents know there is a pharmacy in town with my insurance information. Do any of you happen to know anything about how much it should cost with insurance? I know i get my Adderall for about 15 dollars, and my xanax for under 5. ^_^ I may have seen something about insurance prices around here but I take dope xanax adderall and smoke pot every day so sometimes my memory can be a little fuzzy depending on how inebriated I am. I'm not really a Narcotics Anonymous person though referring to JeW BaLLs Post. I really appreciate all of your help you guys are great and will inform all of you of my progress starting tomorrow when I take it first.

 

[swybs]

may I make one more recommendation--since you are also taking adderall and xanax, consider lowering your doses of both (or trying to go without adderall). Don't know how long you have been prescribed both drugs, but IMO the combination perpetuates anxiety, regardless of how calm you may be with the xanax (not to mention trying to avoid a dependency on benzos). It can be tough, kicking, but it isn't impossible. Some of the best ways, following the physical sickness, can be found with a search engine. Since you are a newly registered user, let me add one more thought: this site can cause people to want to do drugs, even if they have been clean a bit, so consider that after your through with the physical WDs. Also, check out the forum called darkside.

Good luck,
swybs

 

[JeW BaLLs]

I can tell you that you will have a hard time kicking. I can tell this by your wanting to get high off the sub, by your lack of will to get off the shit, and the fact that you claim you are not an NA person when you havent even seen what its about. I wish you luck.

It sounds like you just want to get off the dope so you can lower your tollerance and not be physicaly dependent anymore. It doesnt work like that though bub. If this is what you want I would suggest tappering down with dope and coming off that way.

I see you in the future being a member of this board, still hoooked on dope, still trying to "beat the system". Untill you are willing to do whatever it takes to get off dope, you will still be on dope.

But I should probably stop being so negative now, so remember, what I have typed above is strictly an opinion based on my own inexperience. None of it is to be taken seriously, especially not if it sounds negative.
End Disclaimer.

 

[lyserg]

JeW BaLLs stop trying to ruin his hopes of quitting that was a real dick comment. Anyway i live on long island too, by huntington, and im in the same situation as you. except i do at least 5 bags a day and i get from NYC also. The suboxone will def help and with your habit you can get by dosing 2 mg at a time when u need it and quit painlessly. If u cant do it with the 10 pills then maybe consider the program but dont stay on for months. PM me if u want.

 

[swybs]

^^^ no offense, jewballs, but I see you being too presumptuous....the original poster didn't ask you to read his fortune leaves...

swybs

 

[swybs]

in fact, I think I was too kind--after rereading your post. If you have nothing constructive to say, don't say anything at all. If, for whatever reason, you are bitter or think you are trying to help the original poster, keep that to PMs (which, I can't imagine he/she would ever want to see--if that person wants to hear that stuff, and even if it is true, they can find better places and better people to have/deliver that kind of approach).


-swybs

 

[sunlight • remixed]

may I make one more recommendation--since you are also taking adderall and xanax, consider lowering your doses of both (or trying to go without adderall). Don't know how long you have been prescribed both drugs, but IMO the combination perpetuates anxiety, regardless of how calm you may be with the xanax (not to mention trying to avoid a dependency on benzos). It can be tough, kicking, but it isn't impossible. Some of the best ways, following the physical sickness, can be found with a search engine. Since you are a newly registered user, let me add one more thought: this site can cause people to want to do drugs, even if they have been clean a bit, so consider that after your through with the physical WDs. Also, check out the forum called darkside.

Good luck,
swybs

I appreciate the good advice, But I have no problem kicking benzos or adderall which is sweet for me because if i don't have them for a few weeks it doesn't matter. Sometimes when I wan't to just chill out i'll just take a xanny rather than the adderall. Plus i alternate between taking a half and a whole xanax every couple of days or whenever. Also I've been lurking here for a while so I've read a lot of darkside stuff and other posts about all types of drugs. Of course I'll salivate when I come across the 25 different E pill collection pic but I dont ,never have, and never will have any problems with any other drugs besides nicotine after I kick this addiction. And I don't plan on quitting stoges any time soon. You're a good man swybs. Do you mind if I add you?

 

[sunlight • remixed]

I can tell you that you will have a hard time kicking. I can tell this by your wanting to get high off the sub, by your lack of will to get off the shit, and the fact that you claim you are not an NA person when you havent even seen what its about. I wish you luck.

It sounds like you just want to get off the dope so you can lower your tollerance and not be physicaly dependent anymore. It doesnt work like that though bub. If this is what you want I would suggest tappering down with dope and coming off that way.

I see you in the future being a member of this board, still hoooked on dope, still trying to "beat the system". Untill you are willing to do whatever it takes to get off dope, you will still be on dope.

Wow damn brother thanks for the inane hostility and self esteem boosting "I see you in the future being a member of this board, still hoooked on dope, still trying to "beat the system". What about beaing the system? And I'm pretty much all there when it comes to being in tune with my conscious and subconscious mind so I know who I am and I know what I can and cannot accomplish. If I can't get them from this kid, I'm going to the doctor I found on that website. I never said I wanted to get fucked up off of the suboxone I was just wondering why he would say that about NYC dope so you can take your unjust judgement somewhere else. I asked for help, not wise ass judgemental negativity from someone who has a temper tantrum when someone doesn't follow their orders. Everyone else is doing a wonderful job so you don't have to give me any more of your omniscience.

 

[sunlight • remixed]

JeW BaLLs stop trying to ruin his hopes of quitting that was a real dick comment. Anyway i live on long island too, by huntington, and im in the same situation as you. except i do at least 5 bags a day and i get from NYC also. The suboxone will def help and with your habit you can get by dosing 2 mg at a time when u need it and quit painlessly. If u cant do it with the 10 pills then maybe consider the program but dont stay on for months. PM me if u want.

Thank you and thanks swibs for having faith in me. You're a good man lyserg and if I don't wind up getting these from that kid and have to go to that doctor near me I had only planned on doing a 7 day detox if i could. If you are looking to quit soon man you live pretty close, I'm in Smithtown. It allways helps to have someone going through the same shit as you with stuff like this and I'm allways willing to help. Plus, I've been getting a lot of hash and there's no point in having it if you can't share it :D PM me if you are interested.

 

[JeW BaLLs]

good god, angry dopers... All I was saying is simply you must truly want to quit an active opiate addiction. You simply cant just expect to be in the clear if you choose to do nothing to change your addictive behavior.

How many of us have tryed to do anything but everything it takes to get off dope, only to end up at a later time, still hooked, with a worse problem, only to wish we were as desperate as we are now when we first realised we had a problem and decided to quit the way that works then?

I cant help it if it seems harsh to people who truly want to believe kicking is a simple painless process.

Lyserg, how do you know so well that it will be a painless kick for this guy?Have you ever done it yourself?

And swybs, sorry for being presumptuous, but its the truth, if this kid wants to get of heroin, and has never done it at this kind of habbit before, instead of filling him up with nice warm fuzzy comments about how easy it is to get off dope, I would like to give him a taste of the real world, the way it really is, for most users who are atleast ahead of the game by deciding to try to quit before they are totally fucked.

If you still think im an utter jack ass, and that my post made absolutly no sense think of it like this, im just getting him ready for the post acute stuff that he still knows nothing about, since no one seemed to mention how much that will drive one to using dope again no matter how much they have swore against it.

Especially when someone thinks they are no longer an addict since they went through the withdrawals already.

Also, everyone seems to think im out to hurt someone with my tough love. I wish it was the walk in the park that everyone seems to say it is, but realisticaly it isnt. I mean, your gonna take advice on quitting dope as a godsend from guys that are even more addicted than you? Be realistic, if their advice didnt work for them, why will it work for you?

If you are so in tune with your subconscience and conscience mind, how did you let yourself get into this mess?

Once again, my replies are not meant to drive people down a long road of dark hateful addiction, they are simply ways I try to express the seriousness of a dope kick. If one is not willing to change, only wanting to, they wont.

But I should probably stop being so negative now, so remember, what I have typed above is strictly an opinion based on my own inexperience. None of it is to be taken seriously, especially not if it sounds negative.
End Disclaimer.