kick, push, kick, push...

[KamMoye]

me freestylin'
me wilin', profilin'
cops peek through but da windows on tint
on lint, on stint, on crypt
what do i mean? THAT LEAN!
real man, real nasty
OCD, they call me raspy
i never think it's mean enough
that's my lupe shoutout
he never think it's clean enough!

what do you think?

 

[KamMoye]

you don't think i can rhyme to the out?
to the bass/base, to the mouth?
to the crappy shoutout?

 

[New]

I like this a lot. Your command of the rhythm written out is astounding.

 

[KamMoye]

thank you so much!
i have a talent, let's let it grow
the world's gonna be amazed, ya know!
i'll try not to blush!

 

[New]

Well, there's a time and place to put on a show
To plow the path in which we sew
Your talent nurtured in friendly farms
Will tame the world through untold charms

 

[KamMoye]

thank you new! i would like to break bread with you!

 

[ganja god]

but alas, to break bread with there are too few.
I survey the land to find my band
but ne'er are they marching.
So to pines and the moss
with my forlorn gloss
To kneel at my lonely pew,
the mountaintop.

oh and i didnt mean to post a completely irrelevant reply, but i got into the continued rhyme and rhythm. To the op though, its good i like it. I think you should have taken it further and developed it more though.

 

[fbody]

i like

 

[Seanjay]

More flow than a surfer - hair, style, wavy
and after this meal gonna serf the inner net

lolwut?

I just blew the internet, poorly done grammar and gross in check

%)