1st dose time: approx 12:30am
Total dose of evening: well its hard to say, as custie-ish as it is, i did like 3 lines this big:
----------- and 4-5 small bumps and ended the night with a line like this:
--------------------
was pure uncut ketamine, i cooked it personally (with some help from J)
Setting: Friend's J and C's house. Very nice and cozy apartment. The k-whores for the evening were J, C, M, Ma, E, K, T, P and myself. At about 8pm J cooked her lick of K, and I watched (i have never done it personally). Looked easy. So about 9:30pm I cooked my lick. It was done about 11:00pm, but we had to wait for C to get off work to try any. Me and E had a long conversation about how stupid the drug war is and how bunk fear of an altered state is. T and P? or was it Ma? I forget, but they were watching tv in another room. Finally the crowd came back (everyone else went to run an errand).
C arrived home about 11:50pm, changed into comfy clothes, and we all cut up lines for everyone in the house. Friend E2 was supposed to be there with shrooms, but wasnt able to due to technical difficulties, and was much missed. Lights went out, screensaver went on, and lines went up noses. Some very interesting conversations ensued, followed with much laughter and enjoyment. E, having never done straight K before (that is, nothing else in the system,) stated "wow i feel really wierd!" It was most humerous. I was starting to get mental visulizations of beutiful places in my head. I was an X-wing pilot blasting away at imperial TIE fighters.
Then I looked at the room. People look really wierd when the onlooker is under the influence of K. I was thinking, what is consciousness? What causes all this life? What is the material that makes up the material that we are made of? And what exists beyond that material? I for a moment was able to see beyond physicality. I saw through all physical matter, and looked at our universe from the outside. It seemed to be struggling, moving rather, against another indescribable force. I stepped outside these two forces, only to see that they were part of two other forces, doing the same. I saw all the dimensions expanding further into more and more dimensions... I saw universes that held universes that held universes, and when all summed up together, they created an endless black plain. On this black plain was a large sphere. This sphere was shaped like a golfball, with little nitches in it.
It was black too. These little nitches in the sphere (like indents in a golfball) were all places for universes to "sit." I "zoomed" in on a nitch, and could see our universe. I zoomed in further and saw earth, further and saw the apartment, with 9 laughing, giggling, fun loving k - rocked people in it, enjoying life and forgetting about everything else.
People were taking pictures. Every time a camera would flash, the flash would last like 1 minute. Then it would leave a black imprint on blackness for like 3 minutes. THis black imprint looked like a black hole in outer space. And it felt like I was being sucked into it. Gave off a real science-fiction vibe. Multiple pictures created multiple black holes on my visual field. It was really neato!
[edited out a paragraph to avoid self incriminilization...wow thats a big word]
We took a few whippits which really enhanced the quality of the k (which was quite strong indeed).
Well J, C, K, and M and I chilled on J's bed for a while just talking. We decided around 2am it was time for another line. One by one we took a line and went out to the livng room where others were still taking nangs. Me and K were last, i railed my line (which i might add, my k tolerance is EXTREMELY LOW, before this night i had never done more than 1 small line at once, and onle 3 times). AS K took his line, he sneezed it out, and then proceeded to eat it off the plate, which made me look away and say "oh fucking ay man!"
He said in a very childish and vunerable tone "im sorry was that wrong?" in which case i felt extremely empathized for this guy, so i laughed and patted him on the back and said "no man, that was hilarious! your hardcore." As I walked out to the living room, i heard someone take a nang, followed by a crash. In my head i visualized someone smashing the glass coffee table in the middle of the room. To my shock, i was right! Everyone flipped, and carried those in k holes back into J's room, and everyone else cleaned up the mess. The individual who hit the glass was ok however (passed out from taking a whippit while standing up). Lucky him. THis put a damper on the enjoyment of the evening for a bit. J was quite upset, however C had no clue what happened (since she was deep in a hole) for 2 hours.
I was talking to J for a bit, she has extremely beautiful hair and even more beautiful eyes. But she would stop movin em around hehe. We had a really funny conversation in there. K is a pretty social drug, to my surprise, because we talked a hell of a lot and laughed alot too.
Well al ot of stuff happened, and sicne while typing this i havent slept in 36 hours im going to get to my last line of the evening. Ma, who was rolling as well as C and P, said he felt like another line about 5:00am. I was in full agreement.
However, i wasntin the best mental condition to cut up a line. I cut one up bigger than I intended, and it had a chunk in it (i think) that wasnt cut up enough. I railed it, and was totally unprepared for my first official K hole...
i felt myself slipping away. at first it was like a 10 minute lasting nitrous rush. then it got harder. my eyes simply stopped responding to my brain. my ears only heard very fuzzy and distorted voices, and then nothing. My mind opened up and became my eyes and ears. I thought I stopped breathing. I thought I had slipped out of my body and was traveling toards pure whiteness. I seemed to be trapped in room of pure white (remember the loading construct from the matrix?). There was absolutely nothing. Just white forever. I thought I was in the space inbetween two subatomic particles. How I got here, I had no idea. I tried to remember who I was. I could not. I tried to think who my family was, and I could not. I couldnt remember who any of my friends were. It wasnt disturbing, but rather bewildering. I forgot that i was on a drug and simply thought that I was the conscious manifestation of nothingness. I felt no emotions, and no forms of expression. I had no means of communication nor ability to process thought (or so i thought at the time). I simply was the absence of everything. I was nothing. Most of this expierence is very difficult to remember, as I simply believe it was too profound to be able to be contemplated in a sober mindset. Only when the senses are taken away could this idea of absolute nothing be comprehendable to me. It is something very personal and something only I think I can understand.
FOr a moment, I was "normal." I was back in the real world with these people, but I did not know who they were. This beautiful woman was lying on the bed next to me saying something, but I could not understand her. Not that I couldnt hear, but her words made no sense. I mustered the strength to ask Ma what time it said on my watch. He said that it was 5:25 am. I thought, how could it be 5:25 am? I thought it had to be at least 7am because it took more than an hour to get back to the real world from the world i was in. Then, almost instantaneously, i was back. But this time, there were objects with me. I was in a room, the room I was k-ing in, and iwth people I did not know. They looked like aliens. They moved about in funny manners and said rediculous things that made no sense. I could not respond, I was like someone watching behind a fake glass mirror. C or J, i forget, said something to me but I diddnt know if it was to me or something else. There was no universe outside this room. This room was the entire universe in its own. I can barely remember the events of the next half hour, only that It was a feeling of being nothing while watching a movie about aliens. I was observing another tiny little nitch in the universe.
About 6:20am J said something, and I laughed. Which made me remember i had emotions, which made me remember that i was human, they were humans, and we were in an apt in their town. I slowly came back to reality, and it was so beutiful and envigorating that it exhausted me. I talked with them for an hour or so and went to bed...
...to bed in my little nitch in the universe.
edit: added the black hole-camera flash part
the more i think of this, the more of the expierence comes back to me.
[ 06 February 2003: Message edited by: THE WOOD ]
Total dose of evening: well its hard to say, as custie-ish as it is, i did like 3 lines this big:
----------- and 4-5 small bumps and ended the night with a line like this:
--------------------
was pure uncut ketamine, i cooked it personally (with some help from J)
Setting: Friend's J and C's house. Very nice and cozy apartment. The k-whores for the evening were J, C, M, Ma, E, K, T, P and myself. At about 8pm J cooked her lick of K, and I watched (i have never done it personally). Looked easy. So about 9:30pm I cooked my lick. It was done about 11:00pm, but we had to wait for C to get off work to try any. Me and E had a long conversation about how stupid the drug war is and how bunk fear of an altered state is. T and P? or was it Ma? I forget, but they were watching tv in another room. Finally the crowd came back (everyone else went to run an errand).
C arrived home about 11:50pm, changed into comfy clothes, and we all cut up lines for everyone in the house. Friend E2 was supposed to be there with shrooms, but wasnt able to due to technical difficulties, and was much missed. Lights went out, screensaver went on, and lines went up noses. Some very interesting conversations ensued, followed with much laughter and enjoyment. E, having never done straight K before (that is, nothing else in the system,) stated "wow i feel really wierd!" It was most humerous. I was starting to get mental visulizations of beutiful places in my head. I was an X-wing pilot blasting away at imperial TIE fighters.
Then I looked at the room. People look really wierd when the onlooker is under the influence of K. I was thinking, what is consciousness? What causes all this life? What is the material that makes up the material that we are made of? And what exists beyond that material? I for a moment was able to see beyond physicality. I saw through all physical matter, and looked at our universe from the outside. It seemed to be struggling, moving rather, against another indescribable force. I stepped outside these two forces, only to see that they were part of two other forces, doing the same. I saw all the dimensions expanding further into more and more dimensions... I saw universes that held universes that held universes, and when all summed up together, they created an endless black plain. On this black plain was a large sphere. This sphere was shaped like a golfball, with little nitches in it.
It was black too. These little nitches in the sphere (like indents in a golfball) were all places for universes to "sit." I "zoomed" in on a nitch, and could see our universe. I zoomed in further and saw earth, further and saw the apartment, with 9 laughing, giggling, fun loving k - rocked people in it, enjoying life and forgetting about everything else.
People were taking pictures. Every time a camera would flash, the flash would last like 1 minute. Then it would leave a black imprint on blackness for like 3 minutes. THis black imprint looked like a black hole in outer space. And it felt like I was being sucked into it. Gave off a real science-fiction vibe. Multiple pictures created multiple black holes on my visual field. It was really neato!
[edited out a paragraph to avoid self incriminilization...wow thats a big word]
We took a few whippits which really enhanced the quality of the k (which was quite strong indeed).
Well J, C, K, and M and I chilled on J's bed for a while just talking. We decided around 2am it was time for another line. One by one we took a line and went out to the livng room where others were still taking nangs. Me and K were last, i railed my line (which i might add, my k tolerance is EXTREMELY LOW, before this night i had never done more than 1 small line at once, and onle 3 times). AS K took his line, he sneezed it out, and then proceeded to eat it off the plate, which made me look away and say "oh fucking ay man!"
He said in a very childish and vunerable tone "im sorry was that wrong?" in which case i felt extremely empathized for this guy, so i laughed and patted him on the back and said "no man, that was hilarious! your hardcore." As I walked out to the living room, i heard someone take a nang, followed by a crash. In my head i visualized someone smashing the glass coffee table in the middle of the room. To my shock, i was right! Everyone flipped, and carried those in k holes back into J's room, and everyone else cleaned up the mess. The individual who hit the glass was ok however (passed out from taking a whippit while standing up). Lucky him. THis put a damper on the enjoyment of the evening for a bit. J was quite upset, however C had no clue what happened (since she was deep in a hole) for 2 hours.
I was talking to J for a bit, she has extremely beautiful hair and even more beautiful eyes. But she would stop movin em around hehe. We had a really funny conversation in there. K is a pretty social drug, to my surprise, because we talked a hell of a lot and laughed alot too.
Well al ot of stuff happened, and sicne while typing this i havent slept in 36 hours im going to get to my last line of the evening. Ma, who was rolling as well as C and P, said he felt like another line about 5:00am. I was in full agreement.
However, i wasntin the best mental condition to cut up a line. I cut one up bigger than I intended, and it had a chunk in it (i think) that wasnt cut up enough. I railed it, and was totally unprepared for my first official K hole...
i felt myself slipping away. at first it was like a 10 minute lasting nitrous rush. then it got harder. my eyes simply stopped responding to my brain. my ears only heard very fuzzy and distorted voices, and then nothing. My mind opened up and became my eyes and ears. I thought I stopped breathing. I thought I had slipped out of my body and was traveling toards pure whiteness. I seemed to be trapped in room of pure white (remember the loading construct from the matrix?). There was absolutely nothing. Just white forever. I thought I was in the space inbetween two subatomic particles. How I got here, I had no idea. I tried to remember who I was. I could not. I tried to think who my family was, and I could not. I couldnt remember who any of my friends were. It wasnt disturbing, but rather bewildering. I forgot that i was on a drug and simply thought that I was the conscious manifestation of nothingness. I felt no emotions, and no forms of expression. I had no means of communication nor ability to process thought (or so i thought at the time). I simply was the absence of everything. I was nothing. Most of this expierence is very difficult to remember, as I simply believe it was too profound to be able to be contemplated in a sober mindset. Only when the senses are taken away could this idea of absolute nothing be comprehendable to me. It is something very personal and something only I think I can understand.
FOr a moment, I was "normal." I was back in the real world with these people, but I did not know who they were. This beautiful woman was lying on the bed next to me saying something, but I could not understand her. Not that I couldnt hear, but her words made no sense. I mustered the strength to ask Ma what time it said on my watch. He said that it was 5:25 am. I thought, how could it be 5:25 am? I thought it had to be at least 7am because it took more than an hour to get back to the real world from the world i was in. Then, almost instantaneously, i was back. But this time, there were objects with me. I was in a room, the room I was k-ing in, and iwth people I did not know. They looked like aliens. They moved about in funny manners and said rediculous things that made no sense. I could not respond, I was like someone watching behind a fake glass mirror. C or J, i forget, said something to me but I diddnt know if it was to me or something else. There was no universe outside this room. This room was the entire universe in its own. I can barely remember the events of the next half hour, only that It was a feeling of being nothing while watching a movie about aliens. I was observing another tiny little nitch in the universe.
About 6:20am J said something, and I laughed. Which made me remember i had emotions, which made me remember that i was human, they were humans, and we were in an apt in their town. I slowly came back to reality, and it was so beutiful and envigorating that it exhausted me. I talked with them for an hour or so and went to bed...
...to bed in my little nitch in the universe.
edit: added the black hole-camera flash part
the more i think of this, the more of the expierence comes back to me.
[ 06 February 2003: Message edited by: THE WOOD ]
