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Just something

cherub

cherub

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 24, 2000
Messages
4,042
Location
Mountian Child
each morning I awake,,
Things are a fresh start,
Things will get better,
By the end of each night,
I am more drained more tired.
As I lay my head down
Wishing I had the strength or courage
to just take too many pills tonight
it won't happen
Even if the thoughts fill my mind
I just keep struggling
feeling as though I am in
some non existant space
not sure if the air I breath is
really for me.
Silence as I go to sleep
thoughts wondering will it be better tomorrow
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" Stay with me just for today and let your soul come rest for a minute. "
 
a nice but sad thing
"as you fall into the deepest despair and finally hit rock bottom. you can see the light above your head, and then you realize it can only get better from now on":bTs
peace
bTs
 
hunny, I gotta say I know kinda how you feel, so I'll share a lil something with you:
"Wishing I had the strength or courage
to just take too many pills tonight"
that's weakness dear, real strength and courage, that's what you have already.
love you dear
smile.gif

aj the femme
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the extra M is for MmmMmmmm
Be Good!!!
 
Cherub,
You are such a sweet person. It hurts me that you are goin through rough times. I just wish there was some way I could get down there sooner. I would give you the biggest hug ever and tell you that everything will be OK. Maybe not today, maybe not this week, but it will get better. You know that if there is anything we can do to help all you have to do is ask. I am always around to give you a friendly pouncing or tell you a dirty joke or anything else I can do. This is getting kinda wordy, but I just want you to understand that even when you feel the most alone, you are never alone. Your friends think about you alot and you are never far from our hearts and minds.
Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know
Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
Just remember, we love you and things will get better.
Dave
 
femme already beat me to the punch on my major point...smart girl, that one.
wink.gif

Life isn't inherently good or bad, cherub...it is only what we make of it, it is only a product of our perceptions. Everything can have a positive or negative spin...everything. So if you obssess about the bad, and then obssess about the fact that you're thinking it's bad, you'll get caught in a whirlpool that's difficult to escape.
This is just your brain saying to you, "you haven't reached the pinnacle of who you are...there must be something more." This is nature's sick little joke on us; you'll never reach the "pinnacle," and the only "something more" you experience is change. Everything will change over time, no matter how awful it seems, no matter how long it seems to last. But sweetheart, you must allow that change to happen. And the older we get, the more we fear what that change will bring. We start to fear the unknown more than the hell we've created for ourselves.
Don't be afraid, my friend. And don't feel alone.
smile.gif
 
What Sticky said... and a thousand hugs for every time that you smile in the morning thinking about your new day and the opportunities it brings. Don't let a few tears before bedtime outweigh those thousand smiles girl... the sun is rising again, there's dew on the grass, so stretch and greet the morning sweetie. We'll make sure the coffee is fresh whenever you need it.
smile.gif
 
Cherub,
I have to respond because of what this brought me. You paint a vivid picture of what I feel, sometimes. And I know, you know, what everyone else has said is true. Our happiness depends on us alone. And it is our courage and hope for the future that keeps us from those pills!
Thanks to everyone who responded here. It just reaffirms my belief in Blue Light.
Cherub, next time you feel down. Think of me, someone you don't even know. I care about you, and I'll always share what little cosmic strength I have, to help pull you through.
redbully
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What femme, Sticky, & Dags said...
biggrin.gif

cherub, you are an awesome gal
wink.gif

just 2 more days & you can lean on my shoulder all weekend...till then, mommy {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
 
what all those crazy crackalackians said, but with a crazy sexy west coast accent attached
wink.gif

I love you mommy.
-Spencer
I know so many white people, i mean where do I start?
The trouble with white people is you just can't tell them apart.
 
Cindi
I feel yor pain, and judt wanna tell you you are not the only one going through this.
And I am sorry, wish some things didn't happen.
"And do you know how many people you hurt every day without noticing?"
Dr. Marlok
The Suspicion, Friedrich Duerrenmatt
 
awww... hunnie... cheer up, you're an awesome person, and such a sweetie, too!
**hugs**
Mellabopper
------------------
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.
 
Everyone on this board can relate to your situation.
Curious, is this Untitled or is "Just Something" the title?
Was this poem written with abstract thoughts of suicide, and then shaped for effect; OR was it more journalistic of your current mindset with very little given away to artistic license?
If the latter is true, the mentioning of a overdosing on pills is very short-sighted. Overdosing on pills can be a very painful experience and sometimes thats even when you succeed. The slow process of going into liver failure and renal shutdown is most uncomforting. And even if you survive, stomach pumps are very unpleasent.
If you were using the pills however to show the ease of death or the parallels between death and pleasure (pills do both), than the pills work in accomplishing that. A specific mentioning of the type of pills might also assist this image. How one dies is definitely an expression of their personality. Would it be something numbing (opiates, barbituates and alchol...benzos and alcohol...etc) to emulate the hollowness of depression?
There's an authenticity in your language which draws the readers sympathy to the surface, even as the nature of the situation almost compells them away.
The tragedy of life is that evryone is just coping with their own shit, in their own ways, and sometimes realizing just how much you have in comparison to someone else is enough to keep you swimming into the current, because there are tropical island paradises iust beyond your current reach that are waiting to be explored.
Nice poem.
Nice forum.
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"There is time in minute,
time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse"
(from the Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot)
 
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