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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Just need some simple advice

sirbluedragon said:
i am planning on friday of this week and am doing a youtube livestream and talk to someone anyone you guys to, just happy stuff, no sad things before i die. Juust like remember some of the happest times of my life, I will be crying a lot but if you come please dont make fun of me.
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In the case I'm wrong, just think of how many years of your life you got left OP and in 4 years your parents won't have any legal say over you. Less if you can get emancipated. If you're still living at home and your dad beats you then you can get him arrested. If you kill yourself now you're merely taking the easy way out and proving everyone right about you. Best revenge you could exact on anyone would be to stick it out and make something of yourself.

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sirbluedragon said:
my heart is beating really hard now it's like it knows what i am thinking about doing to it.
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Of course it knows, and it's trying to tell you how fucked up this whole thing is. Your body is telling you to call this off.

sirbluedragon said:
why the frick am i soooo scared
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Because you're thinking about ending your life. Even if you're mentally OK with this on some level, the rest of your being is telling you not to do this.

sirbluedragon said:
i'm still not going to puss out. this is going to happen
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What would it be to puss out? Calling this off or going through with it? If you call it off, I can guarantee you, no one is going to think -- let alone say -- that you pussed out. If you go through with it, IDK -- no guarantees. Calling it off is the much stronger play, here.
 
i know this may not be the same at all... but at times when life gets tough and I feel a lot of pressure from what is going on around me I get really anxious for a while, but then if this state continues I end up just shutting down and becoming apathetic. I convince myself that I don't care about whatever it is that is going on in my life and that I would be better off not having to deal with it. I know this may seem contradictory, but sometimes when our minds tell us that we don't care about something, say living, this actually means that we actually do care about it. in fact, we care about it so much that the thought of failing, of having to face a shitty situation seems so frightening that we just cop out and decide that we don't care. What is worse for your ego than having to face the fact that you did not succeed at that which you wanted most?

im going to go out on a limb here and say that you feel scared because you don't want to die. I know you think you do (and please don't take this as me trying to belittle you or manipulate you), but what I think you really want is to live and be happy. now im just some rando on the internet so I have no idea what would make your life worth living (that's up to you to figure out), but it seems to me that you would rather live than die. I have been where you are. I know what its like to wake up every day wanting to end it all, but these feelings are not you.

Pain is an adaptive response. The nervous system allows us to feel pain as a warning sign. It tells us that whatever we did to experience this pain is not good for us and this uncomfortable bodily response prompts us not to do that again. the way you feel right now is not a call to end it all. it is a call to make changes in your life because you know it is not that way it should be. and dude, next year you'll be in high school. I guarantee that your life will be completely different then. elementary school seems like such a small world because you're stuck with the same people for like 10 years and it can get pretty old, especially if they decide they don't like you (which is THEIR problem, not yours), but high school is your chance for a fresh start. You'll never get the chance to be happy if you "puss out" on your life now. I don't know about you, but Id rather die happy.

Oh yea, and even if you do drug yourself up, the way that you're planning to go sounds really painful.
 
No way of knowing I suppose, but I suspect that he didn't go along with it whether or not he was going to in the first place.
 
a stim OD is fucked its scary and intense and very uncomfortable almost no it is hellish
 
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