Just need some simple advice

sirbluedragon

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 9, 2013
Messages
5
Let's get this out of the way first, I'm not looking for anybody's sypathy here, I dont think this is sad and i dont care. I just want some advice on how i can have the best chance of success.

i'm 14, male and 110 lbs and I plan on taking an entire prescription of 30x60mg vyvanse all at once that I will get. I read on here that overdosing on (amphetamine?) is not the best way to die but my question is.... are the chances really good that 1.8g of vyvanse will kill me.

how long will it last? how will i die? is there anything i could should do to ease the pain?

Thanks in advance for the advice... but please I am not a precious little angle that has so much to live for, I just want to die please just let me do that.
 
Hey man, thanks for posting. First thing: you're not going to find a whole bunch of precious little angels on this side of things either! But, we're not going to help you do this. Sorry -- just can't.

But, since you're here, why don't you do this instead -- just a thought: keep your present plan in the back of your mind for now ... and in the meantime, find someone here (me or anyone) to talk this out with. No sympathy, no baby stuff ... we'll treat you with respect and dignity and honor -- promise.

Where's the harm in just running this all by someone else? Whatever you're going through, I bet there's a chance (maybe just a *small* chance?) that there's a better solution. If not, and if all other options lead to dead ends, then you can reconsider. But, give it one last chance, OK?
 
Trust me on this with my vary religious family things are not going to get better.

i'm broken and there is no cure i had a good childhood but everyone is going to be better off if I do this.

how about is 1.8g of vyvanse a leathal dose? for my research paper ?
 
Wait until you can get some responses from others. Don't be hasty. What you feel now you may not feel tomorrow.

Basic -> TDS
 
Hey Bluedraogon and welcome to Blue Light. No this would not be a good way to try and kill yourself. It doesn't have that good of a chance at success as I know of a few people who have taken initial doses of methamphetamine on this level. It is much more likely to cause damage and will undoubtedly cause psycoses.

You know things often look really bleak and hopeless.. but the thing with the world is that its always turning.. and every time it turns we a presented with a brand new day and a whole new set of opportunities... every time it turns our luck changes... yeah can we go on the mother of all loosing streaks.. yeah and I did.. I remember just a little while ago I was in a position where I knew their wasn't shit to live for and i had no chance at being happy. The thing is that I apparently didn't know shit.. cause the world turned and after years of turns where it got worse and worse. it turned and got better and better. not just throwing you some dont do cause the world is all orgasms and rainbows to try and hand you a line so you dont proceed with this.. I'm just telling you a part of my story. You can kill yourself at any time.. we are fragile and we can always find a way to do this.. but since we can always do it, why not stick around for a bit longer and see what the world has in store for you when she turns around.

While your waiting for the dirty girl to turn around and give you some love.. there are ton of good people here who would like to hear whats going down and may just have a little pull with this crazy blue ball and her whims of fortune.. or may just be willing to listen and maybe offer some caring support and advice<3

Whats the deal with the religious family?
 
Last edited:
Oh man ... speaking from personal experience, I *do* trust you -- for sure. My own family is basically fucked up beyond all recognition. Yikes! I had a good childhood, too ... but now, sometimes I wonder how I could even be related to these people, you know? SMH.

I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what it finally came down to for me was this: I just decided that even if things would never improve with them, things could still be OK. Like, I could forge ahead and create my own life on my own terms. Our lives, our terms. And whatever anyone thinks, one thing's for sure: we did not show up on this planet to please or serve or mimic our family members or anyone else. Whatever ... when you say everyone's going to be better off, I say fuck everyone ... this is about you.

Listen, I know life is hard. Probably too hard. And yeah -- it tries to break us. All the time. I know you don't want sadness and sympathy, so I'm not gonna go there at all. I'm just gonna say that if you're feeling broken, I have a feeling there's someone else responsible for the breaking. That's usually the case. So, before you take next steps, I think you owe it to yourself to sort that out. You know, come up with a really accurate assessment of the situation. IDK ... maybe we could try to identity who did what? And who knows? Maybe there's a different solution waiting in there.

At the very least, you outta hang out here for just a while and get to know some of the seriously righteous people on this forum. If you've already made this decision, then in a weird way, you have nothing to lose, right? Why not just stick it out a little bit longer? We'll have some cool conversations, and you can get your point across to some people who are likely to want to hear you out -- and will probably understand what you're going through!

Research paper? You're a clever dude. Too late for that -- sorry. ;)
 
Whats the deal with the religious family?
my dad will beat me with a belt when i mess up and say that is what god wants him to do something like "I don't like hitting you, but god has told me what to do" delusional shit like that. they think god talks to them all the time. god told me to get gas at this station. I don't know if there is a god but i'm prety F'in shure he isn't telling people where to or not to get gas.

Why not just stick it out a little bit longer?
i'm done i accepted that i'm going do this i got everything planed out and i'm at peace with being dead, why do you people think dying is so bad? i just wont be anymore... no biggie

neversickanymore Not messing this up is really importaint to me I want to make sure I do this right. I see what your saying and i googled it i think taking the drugs then silting my wrist in my warm bath would be a good combination. I just want to not feel a ton of pain before my heart stops. heroin overdose sounds really nice but i don't know where to get it, or if they would sell it to me.

Really though you guys don't get it, you do NOT want to be my friend trust me i'm in 8th grade and have had six different best friends who have all abandoned me, old friends make the worst enemy's and i'm weird I talk way to much and have ADHD, absolutely nobody likes me. let's just skip the friend part of my friendships and move straight to the - loser faggot go kill yourself, part of my friendships.

seriously though if someone has some really good advice on how to do this, please let me know. I can send you pictures of me cutting myself or doing anything you want for some good advice it has to work though. like i said before though, I would just like to relax have things go black have my hart stop and go for the big sleep. I also read that you poop and pee yourself when you die so the bath tub idea seemed really good really easy to clean.
 
bluedragon, sorry but nobody here will help you kill yourself. Seriously, you're only in 8th grade. You have so much life left to live and there are always options for getting out of a bad situation, you're just focusing on how to get of life altogether so you're missing the bigger picture.

It sounds like the driving force behind this is other people. Fuck that. Don't give them the satisfaction of pushing you over the edge like that! I kind of get the impression that you want to do this partly as a "fuck you, I'm free, and its your fault and you know it" thing (regarding your family since from the sound of it, they'll be the ones finding you). Why not get free in other ways that don't involve caving in?

I don't know where you are but most countries have child abuse laws and some sort of a safe house/social services set up. Some countries let you legally separate from your parents through emancipation, help you find a job, housing, etc.

There are always alternatives to ending your own life.

As far as pain, stimulant overdose is probably way up there as a shitty way to go along with liver failure (which is probably the top for most painful death ever). It will be much more agonizing dying than finding a way to change your life.
 
It is almost impossible to overdose on amphetamines if you have be on them for a while. The worse that will happen is a minor heart attack. You will just suffer horribly and probably end up with permanent damage to your body.
 
Life is so beautiful. The thing is there are bad times and good times. You have not had a chance to see the good things in life clearly. I don't mean to sound rude but all your problems are rather temporary and there comes a point in life where your destiny is in your own hands entirely.

I actually remember being 14 and having all my friends drop me at once. It was rather cruel. I thought that these guys were my ticket to popularity and all that type of stuff. Well I made new friends. Better friends.

I can tell you right now what "friends" you have now you will not remember by the time you reach adulthood. Kids can be cruel for no reason. It is not your fault at all. I think maybe you should not worry about what other people think about of you. I honestly do not even remember my good friends from when I was young or even from college.

Its not your fault your father beats you. It is his. My father was abusive and I am not ashamed to admit that.

My heart goes out to you kid. I don't know what to say even. I had struggled to make true friends at times in my life.

I know you got it rough with a abusive parent and friends betraying you. The thing is you live to fight another day. Human life is a gift from God.

Being a teenager can really suck. It does at times. Sometimes it feels like things are never going to look up. But they will.

I implore you to reconsider. There are many people on this site, myself included that would be willing to talk to you about whatever it is that is going on.

I suggest you speak to your school counselor or a responsible adult like a teacher you trust about the abuse going on at home.

This is a very delicate subject, but I can tell you I have gone through some rough times in my life. I have been stabbed, beat mercilessly, been betrayed, had my heart broken, and at times I felt like there was no way out.

I just held on. Life got better. Than it got more than better. Than it got wonderful. Now each day I just look forwards to what is next in life.

Sometimes it hurts to grow. That is life. But life is a gift given to you by God and it is so wonderful. I have wanted to die at times in my life and despite all the beatings, heartbreak, drug addiction, broken bones, and betrayals I wake up everyday and thank God that I am still alive.

You may not win the battle, but you can win the war. Live to fight another day.

There are so many people here that would love to help you sort things out. I might not have the best advice. But I can tell you that no matter how bad things seem, they can get more than just better, they can be wonderful beyond anything you can imagine.
 
I havent posted in a thread in a while kinda selfish of me cuz when i need advice im quick to start my own thread and get some great advice from the community here.

I just wanna say i highly doubt u will die from that amount of amphetamines except like someone else said u will get pycosis.

So i would scratch that plan. I can def understand u bout the religous family as i am jewish and my mom is no joke when it comes to religion. She used to force it on me alot as a kid.

As i got older tho she realized i am getting older and i can make my own choices what i want to belive in. Dont get me wrong i always did believe in my religion i just thought the rules were a bit hard to keep. Now i kinda appreciate how i was raised.

Point is eventho u r only 14 u still have choices u can make if u really cant stand ur family go to child services or whatever u call them and tell them ur parents are abusive and u refuse to live with them.

Even better show ur parents this thread u made to make them realize how badly they are affecting u to the brink of suicide maybe that will wake them up and make them see what they are doing to u.

Trust me if ur family really knew how u feel i would think they will change there ways im sure they wil be devestated to loose there son especially to suicide that they drove there son to.

I wish u the best kid u should really reach out to the people here there are some great people that have gone thru the same as u and are happy adults today.

I am a heroin addict and have bin since 17 and my religous family still loves me and wants me around as much pain and suffering i cause them they would still be devstated if i passed away.Thats the power of love kinda corny to say but true and im sure ur parents love u eventho they might not show it well.

Please keep updating us and dont dissapear cuz i will worry about u.
 
Last edited:
overdosing on amphetamine is the first thing that comes to mind for me as the most painful way to die, i would personally rather stab myself in the heart (not that i recommend you do that), your 14, you havent really lived that much yet
 
my dad will beat me with a belt when i mess up and say that is what god wants him to do something like "I don't like hitting you, but god has told me what to do" delusional shit like that. they think god talks to them all the time. god told me to get gas at this station. I don't know if there is a god but i'm prety F'in shure he isn't telling people where to or not to get gas.

Hey I'm sorry bluedragon.. what your father is doing isn't right.. Yeah.. so I believe this is a situation where you are going to have to protect yourself from what your father is doing. Yeah and god doesn't tell fathers to beat their children.. that's a load of shit.. I don't know but if it were me and i was in the US I would tell your father that "god told me to talk with the school counselor if you ever lay another finger on me." What he is doing isn't right on any level and if he continues to do this after you let him know that your not going to take it anymore then talking with a medical professional (possibly the one you see about your ADD), or a school counselor would be your best option. But really he needs to check his craziness here otherwise he may get in significant trouble and have his family split apart. God told me to beat my son.. what a load of shit. Remember to that you are getting close to when you can get out on your own and develop the kind of life you think is right. Just because things are bad now doesn't mean there going to stay that way.

Really though you guys don't get it, you do NOT want to be my friend trust me i'm in 8th grade and have had six different best friends who have all abandoned me, old friends make the worst enemy's and i'm weird I talk way to much and have ADHD, absolutely nobody likes me. let's just skip the friend part of my friendships and move straight to the - loser faggot go kill yourself, part of my friendships.

Children at this age can be the biggest assholes. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with these people treating you like this its awful and not right and you don't deserve it. <3<3<3
Many people go through this bullying and it is a very sad thing. But people make it through and go on to amazing lives.. and there is nothing better then seeing one of these losers after you have turned your life into something amazing and they are working some shit job and their lives have went no where. Life changes and reshuffles us into new and better places.. but it can also shuffle the real losers to where they belong. Please just realize that these are nasty kids and that their opinion of you doesn't mean shit. Your an amazing person so I would give life some more time to deal you the correct cards.

There are some real good people who help out good people who find themselves in allot of pain and going through really tough times.. If you let us know what country you are in maybe we can give you some numbers of good people you can talk to to help with whats going on.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7

Like I said you can commit suiscide any time you want.. why dont you let us know which country you are in and then give a call to some good people who can help ya through this<3<3;)
 
my dad will beat me with a belt when i mess up and say that is what god wants him to do something like "I don't like hitting you, but god has told me what to do" delusional shit like that. they think god talks to them all the time. god told me to get gas at this station. I don't know if there is a god but i'm prety F'in shure he isn't telling people where to or not to get gas.
Well, you said it yourself: delusional. Not to mention abusive. There are some things that used to pass muster and that just don't anymore. Beating kids with belts under God's orders ... well, that's one of 'em. Sorry, but this ain't the 1800s. Besides, how have you "messed up"? I'm really curious, actually. What could a 14-year-old have done to warrant treatment like that?

Sir Blue, I'm really sorry this is happening to you. (I know, I know ... you don't want sympathy!) Just understand that this is not your fault, your issue, your problem -- even though you're smack in the middle of it and bearing the brunt of it. Your parents need help and a solution -- not you. And I can think of so many ways to solve this that would be preferable to your committing suicide. Calling child protective services is a very good suggestion. Take it to the experts who deal with this stuff all the time. If you're broken -- as you say -- let someone else piece this back together. You've suffered enough. If you want out, you can get out. Just please consider trying a new life before ending your only life?

why do you people think dying is so bad?
Honestly, I don't think most of us know a lot about dying. A bunch of us know a lot about living, though. And you've got a lot of it left to do. That's what's "so bad" about the whole thing. I can't even begin to list the million and one things you're going to miss out on if you check out now.

Really though you guys don't get it, you do NOT want to be my friend trust me i'm in 8th grade and have had six different best friends who have all abandoned me, old friends make the worst enemy's and i'm weird I talk way to much and have ADHD, absolutely nobody likes me. let's just skip the friend part of my friendships and move straight to the - loser faggot go kill yourself, part of my friendships.
There are people on this forum who I wouldn't want to be friends with. You're not one of them. You actually sound pretty interesting and together -- for all you've been through! Not every 8th grader out there could sign onto a forum like this and interact with scary grownups (LOL!) the way you have. Some try and most fail. So give yourself some credit, man. The whole paradigm that says you can be friends with only this preselected group of people totally breaks down when you get out into real life. You've got plenty to say in order to hang here. And if you need a little refuge from real life, then you could probably do a lot worse than BL.

Speaking of real life, we were all in 8th grade once. Kids are cruel. I doubt there's a single member of this forum that doesn't get that on some level or another. Things change ... they just do ... constantly. You've had six best friends, which means you'll have another. And another. And in 20 or 30 years you won't even remember who these people were. They'll be a very distant memory. Don't you have distant memories even now? What was it like ten years ago for you? Do you even remember? Lots has changed, right? What's it going to be like ten years from now? 24 ... that's a fucking cool age. So is 34.

I know we're asking you to take a lot on faith, here. Take this, too: if life really did suck and it was worth ending, I'd tell you. I would. I'm not here to paint you an unrealistically rosy picture. I'm here to try and get you to expand the mental timeframe a little bit -- to look just a little further ahead and see that freedom isn't that far away. And that there are a lot of ways to get there.
 
Ok guys so here is my new plan i did a lot of research and asked more people on the internet and this is what i am doing x6 asprin to thin my blood than x2 x60mg vyvanse and a massive intake of alcohol, vyvance to reduce the drunk effects of alcohol but still getting the pain killing aspects of it.
Than takeing an electric knife and pressing hard on to my femoral artery in my leg, making a massive cut into the artery. a guy on yahoo answers said
if the cut is at an angle then they can not close off and the bleeding will not stop with out additional treatment. you can lose consciousness in about 30 seconds for the average adult male and death in about 3 minutes if the bleeding is unrestricted.

So this sounds really nice I will be druged and feeling really nice before I die and the electric knife will do the work for me as long as i press really hard and then my hart stops in 3 minutes. i am planning on friday of this week and am doing a youtube livestream and talk to someone anyone you guys to, just happy stuff, no sad things before i die. Juust like remember some of the happest times of my life, I will be crying a lot but if you come please dont make fun of me.

i will like the steam when i get started on friday probly just take the pills and start drinking heavy and when i feel really really good start the cut and wave goodbye.
 
Since you seem pretty set on offing yourself... what are you going to do in the mean time? I mean.. You have 3 days left (if you're going to go through with this) surely you must have something you want to get off your chest before then. Sometimes when I feel stuck and feel like the only option is to escape I know that there must be something I could do to change my circumstances. A drastic move that seems impossible because living with the consequences would too complicated. There must be something that would make your life better. You have absolutely nothing to lose and if this last attempt doesn't work out then go back to your original plan. Call the authorities on your dad, tell your ex friends what fucking assholes they are, run away, whatever floats your boat. Have fun with it.

If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. For these next 3 days do whatever you want. Walk around with an 'I don't give a fuck' attitude and take the world by storm, doing everything you wish you had the courage to do but were too afraid of the consequences. Just try it. You might like this way of thinking and continue your life as a confident badass or maybe you wont and will just go back to killing yourself. Its worth a shot. Treat yourself these next few days. Do things you never thought you could and come back and tell us if you're still going to go through with this. If these are going to be your last few days on earth why not at least have a good time.
 
Since you seem pretty set on offing yourself... what are you going to do in the mean time? I mean.. You have 3 days left (if you're going to go through with this) surely you must have something you want to get off your chest before then. Sometimes when I feel stuck and feel like the only option is to escape I know that there must be something I could do to change my circumstances. A drastic move that seems impossible because living with the consequences would too complicated. There must be something that would make your life better. You have absolutely nothing to lose and if this last attempt doesn't work out then go back to your original plan. Call the authorities on your dad, tell your ex friends what fucking assholes they are, run away, whatever floats your boat. Have fun with it.

If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. For these next 3 days do whatever you want. Walk around with an 'I don't give a fuck' attitude and take the world by storm, doing everything you wish you had the courage to do but were too afraid of the consequences. Just try it. You might like this way of thinking and continue your life as a confident badass or maybe you wont and will just go back to killing yourself. Its worth a shot. Treat yourself these next few days. Do things you never thought you could and come back and tell us if you're still going to go through with this. If these are going to be your last few days on earth why not at least have a good time.

I haven't been here that long but I have never seen a first post with so much good advice and wisdom.. often times when we start living with the freedom that comes from finally realizing we are free, we realize why we are alive.
 
i liked the post as well, kind of feels it could have been partially inspired by the movie fearless with 'the dude' as the protagonist, i would recommend the OP watch fearless before he offs himself though
 
getting ready to do this in about 18hrs

my heart is beating really hard now it's like it knows what i am thinking about doing to it. i'm trying to write a letter or note but i have this horrible pain in the back of my head same pain i get when my dad yells at me. should I tell them how much I hate them or maybe scratching their faces off of some family photos?

i'm ready for this to be over all over why the frick am i soooo scared

i'm still not going to puss out. this is going to happen
 
Cause on a deep level you know your letting the bastards win... you and God can make up what they win, as everyone losses if you do this, least of all you.. so i guess showing them will make a difference in the world.... nope its what they want.

There are good people and people who have lost there way on this blue ball.. but throwing in the towel, is just about saying those assclowns have won.. if I were you I would stick this shit out to the end.. there is a war going on.. us against them.;)<3

EDIT: But since we are allot smarter we never ever use violence.. period.. if we do we will fail.. if we do not then we win.
 
Top