• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Just had an abortion, no one there for me

  • Thread starter Thread starter Needhelpwiththis
  • Start date Start date
All of the links posted have a lot of information that could help the OP; really the only things we try to avoid are links to porn and shock sites.

http://www.imnotsorry.net/ is another resource.

It was your decision and you deserve the support of even those who disagree with your decision. Your boyfriend's behavior after your abortion shows that he certainly wasn't ready to be a father. Hopefully your mom and best friend will come around too. I would have made the same painful decision you did.

{{hugs}}
 
Hi tootsie <3

Maybe your man is feeling some grief over the abortion? I've never had to deal with that part of the equation as the father of my ab baby was a one night stand type of deal and I never saw him again/he never knew I got pregnant. But I imagine, even though the father doesn't have to deal with the hormones and physical side of having an ab, he still might have some grief/confusion/feelings to deal with about the matter, especially if *even if he didn't say this to you* a part of him might have wanted to keep it, or wondered what it would be like to keep it, etc.

I'd send him a text or something letting him know you love him and then offer him some space. He might come around in a little while. I hope so.

*hugs*
 
I think by the sound of it you made the right (and very tough i'd imagine) choice for yourself, if you arent ready or prepared for children you have to think about the kids well being.

Your mum and boyfriend i'm sure will come round to help and if your best mate doesnt well just keep trying and she might talk things through with you.

I'd go to the doctors if your pain persists and if not maybe just to talk to him if your family arent up for it.


All the best McFly
 
Much love to you. I'm glad you made a choice for yourself, and stuck to it. I'm glad you're reaching out for support.
 
hey tootsie...

i'm so sorry you're going through this. but...what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? it will get better. i promise. i know i don't know you, but if you ever need someone to talk to - i'm here. just try to relax and know that the people who love you will come around. it's just a very stressful time for everyone even though they should be thinking about YOU and how you feel rather than thinking about themselves.

i wish you the best sweetie. i really do hope you start feeling better.

-jenna
 
<3

If you're certain (or even mostly certain) you made the right choice, things will get better really soon. Your body is in hormonal upheaval right now, it doesn't know which way is up. That'll even itself out soon and you'll feel more in control. Time is a really good healer in this situation.

Your boyfriend is probably having some similar feelings and experiencing his own kind of loss, which is okay even if it's different to yours. With any luck he'll be able to provide you with some more solid support before too long. Until then, the PPs have posted some really useful links.

Either way, this is a hard, sad time and I wish you all the best as you get through it.
 
^ agree. damn it's only been a week..have some compassion!

Also, you might want to get checked out. I've been in your shoes and a lot of physical pain after a week is not quite normal. You should feel crampy for a few days, but not a lot of pain especially after a week.

Gonna gross the guys out a bit, so don't read after here if you're a guy! LOL

Are you bleeding heavily? If you continue to be in a lot of pain, I suggest going to your obgyn.
 
^ i was in pain for the entire 2 weeks and even a few days after i went for the check-up. cramping and bleeding are normal, large clots, excessive bleeding and pain that cannot be subdued with the help of ibuprofen is not.

i've been in your position twice (abortion, unsupportive family/friends/BF), if you need anyone to talk to, PM me <3
 
your poor thing. i went through the same. i had no support, as no one knew. i awoke into a crying fit when it was over, it was odd, i woke up screaming. it was terrible, and while i knew it was the right decision, it didn't take away the pain.

it is an awful choice to have to make, and when those who love you decide to make the choice to make your decision and choice harder, it is tough to swallow. make use of your online friendships here, reach out to those who will listen and be an e-shoulder to cry on.

even knowing you are making the right decision doesn't take away the pain, but it does get easier <3 good luck, and like the others have said, just PM me if you want to chat. i have free long distance and plenty of time on my hands for someone who really needs it.
 
I had pain and heavy bleeding for a good 5-6 weeks afterwards. PLanned parenthood didn't do much for me as far as follow ups.

I thought I was dying, it was pretty scary. I remember almost passing out at work from bleeding so heavily (I had to go back to work after a day, ugh).

Eventually it did get better. Hang in there. Also, know that this could mess your periods up for a long, long time. It took maybe 6 months for me to get back to normal again...
 
If he hasn't talked to you for a few days over a completely separate argument, then please girl, I'll be here for you as many other Bluelighters will be, but don't waste your time on him. He can't be there for you after both of you conceived a child, a new life, and you put an end to it? That's not to sound harsh, but I'm sure you're unbelievably raw right now. I'm sorry. If you need anything PM me or ANYONE on this fucking board. Everyone here is supportive, even if they're a bit (or really) bitter on the surface. That's horrible on your boyfriend's part.
 
i know how you feel when your boyfriend isnt there for you.

i recently had my abortion, and im very hormonal.
he doesnt understand that when i get mad at the dumbest things, it always comes back to the abortion.
he doesnt seem to understand that there isnt a day i think about it.
unlike you, i regret my abortion every single day of my life.
and i dont know how im going to get threw this.
 
For the people who said they had prolonged pain, I'm amazed! My doctor told me only a few days. I had cramping/heavy bleeding for like 2 days and that's it. I was told that if it lasted longer than a week to seek medical attention. I told my obgyn about it in case there were complications.

I don't regret mine either. I would probably be really hurt if some guy wasn't supportive and he was the other one involved. It really shows poor lack of manhood when you can't even just be there for the girl. Compared to what the girl goes through, the guy's participation is a walk in the park.
 
It's very important for you to surround yourself with supportive people right now. If that doesn't include your family/boyfriend/friends, maybe it's time to make some new friends. You deserve better. If you wanna talk, feel free to pm me. NO ONE who hasn't gone through it themselves, first person, can truly understand what you're going through, myself included, but I'm all about supporting women and hope you'll seek out support wherever you can find it.

It's hard enough without having to deal with secondhand bullshit and judgment, so please know you deserve support, love and encouragement to move on with your life. If that means distancing yourself emotionally from unsupportive people, do it.

Thanks for sharing. We're here for you!
 
june09 said:
i know how you feel when your boyfriend isnt there for you.

i recently had my abortion, and im very hormonal.
he doesnt understand that when i get mad at the dumbest things, it always comes back to the abortion.
he doesnt seem to understand that there isnt a day i think about it.
unlike you, i regret my abortion every single day of my life.
and i dont know how im going to get threw this.
Click to expand...
june, you can get through it on here. the world can be discouraging, and you would be shocked at the support that is here from you on a silly "internet forum" after dealing with reality from your friends and family.
 
U'll get over it Tootsie!
IMO, U did the right thing, this world is not fit for children to suffer.
U can use ur experience for others to learn.
Surgery is very traumatic.
<3
 
Missykins said:
If you are still painful, you need to see a doctor.
Click to expand...

They told me I'll have cramps/bleeding for at LEAST two weeks. The cramps have mostly gone away but I'm still bleeding. It's kind of getting annoying.

Time's just going SO slow for me. It feels like it's been months but it hasn't even been two weeks. I'm just so ready for this to be over with.

Again, I appreciate all of your support, so thanks everyone. <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top