farawaymusic
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2025
- Messages
- 11
There is a moment-to-moment deletion going on, at a level so subtle that the attention is usually at a far grosser focal point, that can be directly noticed by sinking the attention to that subtler level. It is prior to speaking and forming thoughts, but still contains a speck of binary awareness that simply registers: I can remember what happened just a moment ago vs. I have no memory of what happened a moment ago. At that most immediate level in all experience, ordinary or not, that binary awareness flickers like a radiation counter. Every so often (could be once a lifetime, several times a second, every million generations, we cannot say due to its nature), the second horn of the binary becomes: I have no memory of what happened a moment ago and no means of recollecting it. That one ends the flickering, as well as any possibility of more, until a new thought has formed on the canvas of the mind.
Given the fact that I happened to notice this flickering, which went on for a short while and then stopped, it would be absurdly improbable to think I happened to catch the last several seconds of a million-generation process; much more likely that the process occurs on a scale closer to seconds than generations.
Yet, this is not accurate either, since the level at which this process seems to happen is hyperfocused on the present moment, where time does not actually pass. Everything happens now, from that perspective. From that depth of pervasion into the now-ness of now, whatever is happening is happening afresh, as never before, totally naively and witbout guile. As we rise in depth to the surface, we pass through layers of sensational blockade that are felt later on as doubts, those skeptical reminders that keep us tethered to the surface. Where the momentary deletion occurs is much nearer to the hyper-present, and thus comfortably out of the range of our hypothetically oriented attention. But it can in principle be accessed at any apparent 'time' in the ongoing narrative, which means it appears at a point that is best interpreted as exactly now.
That is to say, on a level of experience much more direct and unfiltered than what we normally call 'experience', namely that subtle and direct (this one! yes, not hypothetically, but the precise immediacy and urgency that can only be felt when referring to actually now, not a vague now used by politicians, but the bleeding now that forms the particles of your experience of this parenthetical finally coming to its close) vantage point that is fundamental to all elaborated, abstracted, hypothetically generated narrative,
...
I forgot where I was going with all this.
Given the fact that I happened to notice this flickering, which went on for a short while and then stopped, it would be absurdly improbable to think I happened to catch the last several seconds of a million-generation process; much more likely that the process occurs on a scale closer to seconds than generations.
Yet, this is not accurate either, since the level at which this process seems to happen is hyperfocused on the present moment, where time does not actually pass. Everything happens now, from that perspective. From that depth of pervasion into the now-ness of now, whatever is happening is happening afresh, as never before, totally naively and witbout guile. As we rise in depth to the surface, we pass through layers of sensational blockade that are felt later on as doubts, those skeptical reminders that keep us tethered to the surface. Where the momentary deletion occurs is much nearer to the hyper-present, and thus comfortably out of the range of our hypothetically oriented attention. But it can in principle be accessed at any apparent 'time' in the ongoing narrative, which means it appears at a point that is best interpreted as exactly now.
That is to say, on a level of experience much more direct and unfiltered than what we normally call 'experience', namely that subtle and direct (this one! yes, not hypothetically, but the precise immediacy and urgency that can only be felt when referring to actually now, not a vague now used by politicians, but the bleeding now that forms the particles of your experience of this parenthetical finally coming to its close) vantage point that is fundamental to all elaborated, abstracted, hypothetically generated narrative,
...
I forgot where I was going with all this.
