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June Staying Clean thread vs. Summer breeze, makes me feel fiiiine.

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^22 days is good! Focus on that and quitting smoking will be easier. <3

I've been managing to taper off of benzos pretty well. I was scared of tapering for so long and didn't want to do it, but it's not as difficult as I thought it would be so far. I just have to make sure to continue with the taper and figure out some other ways to deal with my anxiety.
 
^ I'm happy to hear that hun <3 I need to do the same.

So far, have you found anything else to help with anxiety?
 
Breathing exercises have always seemed a biggie in helping me with anxiety. I just need to get in the habit of remembering to do them when I really need it instead of just going into panic mode.
 
JUne is flying by.. now i even have over a month off the smoking.. so anyway back when I smoked, you know when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and all.. ha, it does seem like a long time ago.. =D hope everyone is doing great<3
 
I wrote a poem today. Its a hobby of mine that I forgot about when I was using. Lemme know what you think.

Will I ever be happy
Begging for something more
wishing, wanting a life of vanity
Working endless hours to satisfy my wants
But never, never getting what I need
The clothes, the cars, but yet will I ever be satisfied
It seems so pointless sometimes
Walking aimlessly attempting to find a purpose
Am I the hammer that serves its purpose perfectly
Or am I duct tape, many imperfect, nonpermanent uses
Attempting to stand on my own
But do I really want to stand
Or just lay down and move on
The journey seems so drawn out and painful
Like walking on broken glass with perioids of briar bushes
Not always excruciating but always painful
And at the end we have a prison of a box to call home
We are all expendable
We are all useless and useful
There will always be someone to replace me
Always someone better
Always someone more able
I am not special
I am not unique
I am equally priceless and worthless
The sooner I accept this the sooner I can live
But do we ever really live
Or just follow a set path of false choices and options
One day I will fulfill every beings purpose: to survive, thrive, and die
And the ending is when we are all truly set free.
 
So incredibly sick of my rapid-cycling of addiction. I just never learn.
I like 'benchmark' dates, though I've never been able to stick to them .. but here's hoping for a sober start to Summer.
 
Yeah its a really nice JUNE NIGHT here in KY!!

I'm feeling better and better.....opiate paws are like a lingering ghost that you have to brush off, look in the face, argue with in your head.....its a constant battle. And I really like the idea that if we can do this we can do anything someone posted earlier. We really set ourselves up, but how much of the fault is really ours? Its better to take responsibility but sometimes I wonder about these pharma companies.....it seems like they legit don't give a flying fuck for humanity, their fellow brothers and sisters, the doctors they scam and lie to about how dangerous all these pills are.

Well, I'm doing good regardless. Still smoking weed every single day (which is ok) and eating kratom from time to time, but I haven't visited the pawn shop or trying to scheme my way into my true DOC, which is definitely forward progress.

I like the poem, even though its dark I understand.
 
8 days clean from opioids, namely abusing fentanyl recently. My scripted patches that is. Pain management was a horrible decision.

Nice to find this section.
 
I lasted just about a month of no booze (27 days) to be exact. I decided I'd have a drank as I just felt like one after amonth of solid training and almost 10 kilo weight loss from 119.8kg.

Any how I invited a friend over who also believes he's on the right health path. How wrong I was, my old mate after going to the same toilet 3 times tonight, thought he didn't know where the toilet was 4th time round so thought it would be awesome to walk into my bedroom and piss all over my clothes near the bed.

I'm not going to bash myself for drinking tonight but am starting to be more acceptive that chasing your past memories does more harm than good.

Hopefully I can go for 2 months this time round.
 
I have been rolling pretty smooth.. got out of today a little this week and started to think about a lot of shit that doesn't matter.. blathery material shit that will just cause me hassle and waste my time.. back into today since yesterday.. and heading off to enjoy the day.
 
I'm a little over two months clean from heroin!! <3 it feels great to have a clear head on my shoulders again. I want to keep this up. Anyways my boyfriend is in treatment and I get to see him later today during family group therapy. So I decided to make him this.

vzMYOmQ.jpg


He too is also now clean from heroin... so hopefully he keeps on the road to recovery.
 
Last night I just wanted to watch tv and not go to a meeting. Instead I went to a meeting and was SOOOO happy to have went. I felt much better afterwards. Otherwise I've worked every day except one for the last 39 days and feel pretty good. Saving tons of money, more than I've ever saved in my life. It feels great to go home and night and not feel the need to drink a 12 pack and smoke a joint. While I sometimes miss it, my life is so much better being sober from that stuff.
 
xstayfadedx said:
I'm a little over two months clean from heroin!! <3 it feels great to have a clear head on my shoulders again. I want to keep this up. Anyways my boyfriend is in treatment and I get to see him later today during family group therapy. So I decided to make him this.

vzMYOmQ.jpg


He too is also now clean from heroin... so hopefully he keeps on the road to recovery.
Click to expand...

That's awesome, congrats on your clean time! :) Awesome bracelet too. I love colors lol.
 
Last day of June, and the year is now half over!

A good time to evaluate & set new goals.

I had finally been making some progress in avoiding cannabis & alcohol .. but while May happened to be MDMA abuse month for me (first in 4 years), for the start of Summer I've suddenly rekindled my opiate addiction from 8 years ago :\
I know nothing good will come of these recent relapses if I keep it up.

Best wishes to all for a sober second half.
 
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