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June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread

Been off heroin and on done for 3 months now and although i'm still on something i'm happy to be out of the dope rat race. Finally I accually give a damn about shit going on, before all i cared about is if i was gunna haveto be sick dealing with it. Anxiety is a real issue though, i've found a doc but I'm worried if i tell him i take methadone i won't get proper care. :-/


At least I found out that my clinics benzos test misses klonopin, so If push comes to shove i'll just buy them on street like i've been doing. :|
 
Day 2 for me again... I took a little Suboxone last night and another 2mg today, but I think I'll be fine without it after today or maybe tomorrow. The relapse I had was really small so it didn't exactly set me back as far as physical withdrawals go... the mental part might be a different story. Mainly struggling with an overwhelming sense of boredom and under stimulation like I can't get excited or happy about much of anything, it sucks and I have been fighting the impulse to go pick up "just for something exciting to do" all freaking day. I haven't, mainly because I know it will be pointless. I have the Suboxone to thank for that.

Funny how when I got clean this time last year, it was the physical withdrawals I was having trouble with and the mental part was what was ridiculously, almost laughably easy. This year though it seems to be the complete opposite. I wonder why that is.

But I got off probation and had my felony dismissed this morning, so that's a good thing :)
 
xburtonchic said:
Mainly struggling with an overwhelming sense of boredom and under stimulation like I can't get excited or happy about much of anything
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I know EXACTLY what you're talking about...and it sucks. I believe it's because our brains are under-producing dopamine, because opiates make you release a ton of it, so your body starts under producing to compensate. Apparently when you eat food, have sex, listen to music - anything that gives pleasure, it's that squirt of dopamine that's what's making you feel good. But our opiate addicted brains don't produce nearly as much - they're used to heroin doing the work.

The only cure for it is to stay sober and feeling crappy til the brain catches on and realizes it's got to up the dopamine production. Which it will do. And the more crappy you can let yourself feel, the faster your brain will realize it needs to step it up.

Congrats on the felony dismissal :)
 
xburtonchic said:
Caseface, dude that sounds wayy legit!! Buddhism is probably the closest religion to my own personal beliefs and morals/values, I don't identify as Buddhist but I'm always into learning more about it as a whole. What exactly are you going to be doing there?? Was the application process intense? Sorry so many questions but ahh that's so awesome you get to do that haha
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Hey, so I mean they call me an intern but its more of a work study program at a retreat center. I'm basically a chess piece, help with whatever they need done to keep the place running. We have a few lamas who reside here curremtly, one who lives at a monetary in Nepal and comes here to teach every summer. I get classes with him everyday, morning and evening practice sessions and then various teachers will be coming to teach every so often. Last weekend Dzigar kongtrul Rinpoche was here, and tonight phakchok Rinpoche is coming and will stay to teach for a few days. I'd go into more detail but still getting used to mobile posting.
Keep up the great work everyone and congrats on progress!
 
Thanks for the encouragement BlueSaffron :) I mean yea I'm aware that's what's going on, but sometimes you just need reminders from other people and to know that others understand what you're going through cuz they've been there too, ya know?! I feel better about it now, thank you <3

Caseface, that's like an awesome way to spend the summer haha sounds like you're gonna learn a lot too!!
 
that's awesome Case face! Amazing job CH!

I admire u guys... Hope I can get ther one day, when I'm ready I guess....

Right now I'm at 24hrs. Been doing like 48 to 72 hours here n there and then as soon as I get money I cop. I really need more time under my belt. U guys are an inspiration!

I want it... I need it.... I need to get one of these sober hours to Stick longer then 72 hours?!?

Anyway, keep up the good work everyone!!!
 
^^ congrats on the 24hrs. I believe in you. Sharing sobriety with other people really helps so keep coming back (sorry don't mean to sound like N.A). Maybe you should take a step to insure that you won't have access to money. Is there anyone you can trust to control or withhold your money? It might help give you just enough time away to have stronger will and better chances of succeeding in your detox and sobriety.
 
Love88, I'm in pretty much the exact same position as you right now!! Having trouble making it past a couple of days. The thing with acutes is that during those times when you're feeling horrible, sometimes it's necessary to take it literally a minute at a time. When you're in the thick of it, a few hours can seem daunting let alone a whole day!! We can make a deal with each other like if you hang in there then I will too haha sometimes it also helps to be accountable to another person. I believe in both of us tho, in fact I believe in this whole thread <3

Nicely done NSA :D you're always so motivating haha I love it!
 
Yeah NSA is pretty damn motivating and helpful :) i appreciate him (?) posting, a lot.

Tuesday was one of those hour by hour days for me. Id get a craving, talk myself out of using, distract myself for a bit, then bam-another one would hit, and again id have to talk myself out of it. I honestly fell into bed exhausted that night even though i didnt really 'do' anything.

Weds was better though :)
 
xburtonchic said:
Love88, I'm in pretty much the exact same position as you right now!! Having trouble making it past a couple of days. The thing with acutes is that during those times when you're feeling horrible, sometimes it's necessary to take it literally a minute at a time. When you're in the thick of it, a few hours can seem daunting let alone a whole day!! We can make a deal with each other like if you hang in there then I will too haha sometimes it also helps to be accountable to another person. I believe in both of us tho, in fact I believe in this whole thread

Thanks for ur post. Yea I'm at 3&hrs now. Feel pretty rough. I've been pumping myself w GABA and muscle relaxers. Been have a pretty big battle in my head... Tomorrow is payday and I also have work. I have some sub, but u haven't taking it bc of the battle in my head! If I take it, I know that I won't be able to have a good high. But the other half of me is sayin jus take it bc u need to go more then freak 72 hrs?!? It's stupid u can't even do one week!
Sp that's goin on in my head :(
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1 week short of two months feels pretty good ;)
You guys can do it as long as u want to stop I'm sure u have the power n control to do it!
 
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