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July Getting/Staying Sober Thread vs Birds of a Feather

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phactor said:
Thanks everyone! I appreciate it, it means a lot to me. I am proud of myself but I am more proud of you all! Lets keep doing this thing.
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Right on man.

Today I had a class for my Outpatient program and it's in an area where I know someone who serves quality tar there, and during class I kept thinking what if I call just once, buy a tiny amount, and as the thought was getting me happier, I realized TOMORROW marks 3 weeks of being actually sober for me. 6 weeks since I stopped MOST bullshit (cause I landed in jail, in there I found some H lol was cool), but this time truly without anything... and also thought about how I am FINALLY working out again, something I hard fought to do to find that motivation, I knew it would all go down the shitter if I made that call, and 3 weeks would not have been reached either...

Here I am sitting at home, sober, bored out of my mind, but kinda relieved that I didn't do it, in fact I oughta delete that fucking number hah! Been trying really hard to improve myself, it is SO depressing, knowing how much money and time was spent on stupidity!!! Yeah it's depressing knowing I cannot touch opiates or benzos again, but so much time was lost due to all that shit! Coulda learned web design, computer repair, Fruity Loops, anything by now!

The one thing I am struggling with is genuine happiness... I'm 24, living back with parents, my house is chill but since I don't talk to anyone right now really it gets lonely, I sit all day mostly reading/participating forums, self-help e-books and websites... I'm having a tough time finding that ambition, that start button, to get my ass busy and trying to apply for jobs though I'm kinda forcing myself... I really don't know what to do in life right now and that's the hardest part, not to mention I've accumulated a lot of freakin credit card debt and won't be having money for a littleeeeee while.
At least let's keep this clean streak going I guess 8)
 
I have 210 days off suboxone today

Much <3 to everyone here, I am really inspired by our community and I thank everyone for posting how they're doing. Just doing that shows courage and that helps me to know you all are here to listen when I am going through a hard time.

You're all welcome to PM me too <3
 
Has been a while. Things are going great. Approaching a year in a few months. I love this site I use I think it has nice inspirational pictures: https://www.soberdays.com

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They also break it down for you :)

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Feels good guys <3 Keep on goin!!! <3

Also found a cute little ticker that can be used in a signature. Unfortunately our signatures don't support images so I'll post it here. It updates automatically which is cool :):

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About to go to sleep. Today wasnt good-i didnt use but i was really down-still am. Avoided phone calls because i dont have the energy to pretend everythings fine & try to sound normal and happy. I dont feel like doing much of anything, at all. Takes all my energy & motivation just to shower & eat.

I cant believe this is my life now. At least when i was on dope i had SOME moments of happiness.

Going to try to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
 
I feel ya BlueSaffron. I have 104 days clean but I still struggle with depression, anxiety, and all that shit. I'm staying positive though it has gotten slowly better and everyone tells me it takes at least 4 months before you start to feel better. It's all about patience.which I have hardly any, addicts are used to instant gratification.

Not going to lie I think about getting back on drugs almost everyday but not really opiates. I haven't done any heroin in 5 months now and i'm happy to say my opiate cravings are virtually gone. Nothing will ever be perfect but everyone's right it does get better. I'm confident that my brain will return to relative normalcy eventually which is why i'm still clean. Anyway, i'm just rambling now stay strong. :)
 
Yesterday was my quit date. Had set it 2 weeks in advance this time. Told everyone, my family, friends. Today has been really tough and scary. Getting by though. Going to bite the bullet. Chugging Pepto. Giggles. Keep your head up. You can do it. :) Take care......
 
2 years 6 months and 3 days. Enjoying the sites and sounds of Chicago. About to head down to The Point, a locale in the na literature
 
Serotonin101 said:
2 years 6 months and 3 days. Enjoying the sites and sounds of Chicago. About to head down to The Point, a locale in the na literature
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Can you expand on this a bit, I have been to lots of NA meetings in Chicago, the Burbs and Rockford and haven't heard about this. Are you talking about the story in the BT? If so, that is the side of the city that my family is originally from. Tons of great meetings there and a convention coming up at the end of August from South Side Chicago NA. Are you just visiting Chicago or did you move?
 
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It's from the story in the basic text. About the kid was who adopted from a German orphanage and things go wrong. It's a beautiful place. Just visiting though, I'm a saint Louis area native.
 
My methadone counselor is so useless... we're supposed to get seen for a counseling session one hour a month (if you're self pay, which I am), and he still hasn't seen me yet and I've been on almost a month and a half I think. He gets my dose requests wrong, he's useless as a counselor (walked into his office to do a treatment plan and he asked how I was and I said "not too good" and he completely ignored me, didn't ask why, did the paperwork really fast and said I could go), and he likes to tell the front desk (where you check in so you can dose) to hold my dose cos he wants to talk to me in the morning, and then I go sit in the waiting room and wait 45 mins - an hour without him ever coming. It happened again today - after 40 mins he actually came to the waiting room, looked right at me, and said "Paul?". The guy he called got up and they started walking back to his office - no "this will be just a few minutes" to me or anything. I said "Steve, I have an appointment, I need to go, can I just talk to you tomorrow?" and he looked really nonplussed for a minute and then said ok. I really hate that whole "You're a methadone client so you must not have a life and will be fine just randomly waiting an hour) attitude. Finally, he is a big man. I used to be a big girl, so it's not that in itself, but he doesn't seem to comprehend basic hygiene. His office always smells like a room that's had 50 sweating people standing in it for an hour. When you're that size it's important to be really clean, and I'm not sure he he grasps that fact. /rant


Other than that though, I'm doing better today. I'm going to try to get outside and get in the sunshine more and see if that helps with my mood - they say it's the best way to get vitamin D, and much more effective than taking a pill, but I may get a supplement too. Every little bit helps.
 
Tanning helps me when the season gets cold and nights get longer so in general I try to get lots of sun exposure everyday. Helps balance me out and keeps the circadian rhythm in check for sleeping and whatnot.
 
BlueSaffron said:
My methadone counselor is so useless... we're supposed to get seen for a counseling session one hour a month (if you're self pay, which I am), and he still hasn't seen me yet and I've been on almost a month and a half I think. He gets my dose requests wrong, he's useless as a counselor (walked into his office to do a treatment plan and he asked how I was and I said "not too good" and he completely ignored me, didn't ask why, did the paperwork really fast and said I could go), and he likes to tell the front desk (where you check in so you can dose) to hold my dose cos he wants to talk to me in the morning, and then I go sit in the waiting room and wait 45 mins - an hour without him ever coming. It happened again today - after 40 mins he actually came to the waiting room, looked right at me, and said "Paul?". The guy he called got up and they started walking back to his office - no "this will be just a few minutes" to me or anything. I said "Steve, I have an appointment, I need to go, can I just talk to you tomorrow?" and he looked really nonplussed for a minute and then said ok. I really hate that whole "You're a methadone client so you must not have a life and will be fine just randomly waiting an hour) attitude. Finally, he is a big man. I used to be a big girl, so it's not that in itself, but he doesn't seem to comprehend basic hygiene. His office always smells like a room that's had 50 sweating people standing in it for an hour. When you're that size it's important to be really clean, and I'm not sure he he grasps that fact. /rant


Other than that though, I'm doing better today. I'm going to try to get outside and get in the sunshine more and see if that helps with my mood - they say it's the best way to get vitamin D, and much more effective than taking a pill, but I may get a supplement too. Every little bit helps.
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I would approach him and calmly let him know that he is unnecessarily taking up your time and ask him how we can eliminate from the daily interaction. I really strong thing I learned to do early in recovery was to communicate immediately with people who are not treating me properly, people who are negatively effecting me or my life, or people that are causing unnecessary stress in my life.. at first i was a little awkward.. now I have gotten pretty good at it and its just natural. This approach helps me out cause I no longer get all upset for long periods at the way i was treated or at others actions.. I just got pretty good at talking with people and even better at calling people on improper treatment.

I now walk around much more relaxed as im not all pissed off at being treated a certain way or pissed at anything I could easily solve. Might work for you as well.

I would also implore you to please add a daily vitamine D supplement to your diet because of the methadone. when I was on methadone I was not aware of the strong tendency the methadone has for lowering a patient's vitamin D and ended up with some pretty severe bone pain and some dental issues.

Low vitamin d status of patients in methadone maintenance treatment.
 
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