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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Jobseeker's Allowance Megathread ver. The Jeremy Kyle Fan Club

I am no longer Dole scum as of today! I now have to get up at a ridiculous hour, will miss all my day time tv, and dont get to spend all day in the pub :( However will be able to afford to drink in more classier establishments than weatherspoons and have more money for drugs :) so cant really complain!
Will miss the girl I had to sign with, she was a right sort lol
 
felix said:
some of us don't need bits of paper to know we're awesome. ;)
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Agreed!...well with you anyway <3

shephard89 said:
I am no longer Dole scum as of today! I now have to get up at a ridiculous hour, will miss all my day time tv, and dont get to spend all day in the pub :( However will be able to afford to drink in more classier establishments than weatherspoons and have more money for drugs :) so cant really complain!
Will miss the girl I had to sign with, she was a right sort lol
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Hey well done you :) Think of that pay slip and the £££s!
 
Nothin to exiting , just workin in an office, been outta work for six months now so gotta get used to actually being clean, awake/sober lol. But its a step in the right direction.
The last straw was when I was sent on a bloody 2 week "gateway" course . Had to sit there and be patronised all day. My "supervisor" was in the year above me at school for gods sake! My brother shagged her! And there she was telling me how to "positively restructure" my life and that I had "exaggerated" anxiety and dyslexia . Was a complete piss take.
Still I suppose it did motivate me back into working lol
 
The last straw was when I was sent on a bloody 2 week "gateway" course . Had to sit there and be patronised all day. My "supervisor" was in the year above me at school for gods sake! My brother shagged her! And there she was telling me how to "positively restructure" my life and that I had "exaggerated" anxiety and dyslexia . Was a complete piss take.
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Fucking ha! =D
 
felix said:
when i said 'any subject', i didn't mean a mickey mouse degree bought off ebay from Mumbai Polytechnic (like yours), i meant something useful. :D
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Mines was aquired at Edinburghs finest university I'll have you know. ;)

Sega420 said:
^laughed out loud to that one.

oh BL, i love you so.

and spade, i dont have a HND, and i dropped out of high school at 16, are you insinuating that im a dumb fuck too?
if so, i disagree, as i am a highly intelligent individual.

how's everyone else's jobhunt going?

(apart from spade as he's made it clear he cant be fucked, but then again, who can?
id like a job, but i dont want to be that miserable again!)
^[not a dig at you spade, just you make it seem like you genuinely dont want to work]
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You might be a dumb fuck, I don't know nor do I care. You clearly missed that me and my buddy felix were having some jocklight banter, I was ripping the piss out of him being turned down for a job in a great big shithole of a country because he's not smart enough. :p

I don't want to work and I hopefully won't be for the next year. If you don't have to, why would you?

felix said:
some of us don't need bits of paper to know we're awesome. ;)
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So intelligent you couldn't blag that job in Boratland. ;)
 
next time, i apply to Turkmenistan!

s-BORAT-large.jpg
 
dont worry matey i understood the jock-ial banter goin on.
im Scoattish myself.

if you dont have to work ad have lots of money then fair enough, but i dont have that luxury.

i need a job.

what is it you do where you dont have to worry about money & working?
 
Well it's pretty smart if you can earn enough money for a year in 3-4 months...no?

Alas, I am a salary slut who works from month to month and is tied into me fucking pension plan now - the bastards have hooked me :|

what the hell am I doing in in this thread?
 
To be fair , if it wasnt for the hassle of these stupid courses etc, and the being moaned at by the mrs 24/7 , I think I wouldnt bother with a job...
I know quality of life etc's better but I am the laziest person I know...To think I used to be a squaddie lol
 
kate said:
Well it's pretty smart if you can earn enough money for a year in 3-4 months...no?

Alas, I am a salary slut who works from month to month and is tied into me fucking pension plan now - the bastards have hooked me :|

what the hell am I doing in in this thread?
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Following me , after your sexual innuedos about bannanas.... :P
 
Doh, forgot I had to sign on this morning as it as my 1st claim interview was yesterday so didn't realise they'd bring me back in so fast.

Just called them up and the guy on the phone was totally fine with me. Said, 'Ahhh don't worry you're not the first person to do that, you're welcome to come down after 2pm and we'll squeeze you in then.'

See spade, you gotta play the system properly if you don't want it to play you ;)
 
Argh, I have to go to one of the nastiest job centres to pick up a crisis loan, which is JUST a fw buildings down from where I just got sacked from. There's always very pleasant looking people, including prostitutes hanging around outside. Colourful :)

I hate picking up crisis loans, in Manchester they locked you in a tiny room with three security guards, with one door for entry and a different one for exit. You could tell everyone in there was fresh out of jail as that was the main topic of conversation!
 
See spade, you gotta play the system properly if you don't want it to play you
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If playing the system means getting lucky and having a nice bloke answer the phone then you win. My system playing skills are obviously lacking because when I phoned I had to deal with a cunt. Fail on my part, obviously.

Why do you get locked in a room when you go for a loan?
 
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