NotQuiteAnonymous
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2010
- Messages
- 258
Poor kitty! I'm glad to hear she beat it!
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JamesBrown - Illness, Hospitalization
- Thread starter Captain.Heroin
- Start date
- Status
Lolie
Bluelighter
There are a number of conditions which could cause back pain radiating down the legs - sciatica is one which springs to mind.
What was the diagnosis for which surgery was scheduled? I know that the surgery was cancelled and more tests ordered but the fact that it was scheduled suggests that the clinical symptoms were indicating a specific problem.
Obviously this is not something which can be treated without a diagnosis, and getting that diagnosis is going to involve further testing. I'm not minimising the pain and distress that might cause James but not getting a proper diagnosis isn't sparing him any pain either.
It's possible that his probation officer may be able to organise appropriate medical care. I'd even consider ringing the PO and asking what they can suggest so that you can establish his awareness of James' fragile condition and bring duty of care issues into play.
It might be possible to get in through the back door too by taking him for an emergency psych assessment - ie, by saying up front that you've been told the problem isn't physical and that James' condition has deteriorated beyond the capacity of the family to deal with it at home. Someone as agitated as James sounds will definitely be medicated in a psych unit and if they assess the problem as being physical it's going to carry more weight.
What was the diagnosis for which surgery was scheduled? I know that the surgery was cancelled and more tests ordered but the fact that it was scheduled suggests that the clinical symptoms were indicating a specific problem.
Obviously this is not something which can be treated without a diagnosis, and getting that diagnosis is going to involve further testing. I'm not minimising the pain and distress that might cause James but not getting a proper diagnosis isn't sparing him any pain either.
It's possible that his probation officer may be able to organise appropriate medical care. I'd even consider ringing the PO and asking what they can suggest so that you can establish his awareness of James' fragile condition and bring duty of care issues into play.
It might be possible to get in through the back door too by taking him for an emergency psych assessment - ie, by saying up front that you've been told the problem isn't physical and that James' condition has deteriorated beyond the capacity of the family to deal with it at home. Someone as agitated as James sounds will definitely be medicated in a psych unit and if they assess the problem as being physical it's going to carry more weight.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Yeah, me too. Even when she hadn't eaten or drank much water for over a week, just lying in random places all day long around the apartment, when we brought her in she was still abhorred at the idea of going to the vet, and fought tooth and nail not to have to leave her cage.
Even on death's door step, she's a fighter, and I think that's why she lived.
They also let us come visit her over the weekend which was really nice of them.
Draigan
Ex-Bluelighter
Forgive me, I havn't read the whole story. My understanding is that you still don't know whats causing this phantom pain. So your response is to get pain meds for it until you can figure out whats going on?
It sux the docs wont give you what u need man. :/ In Canada, atleast for me, when I was injured, they said fuck it that your a junky, your still in pain. That was very nice of them.
I think you should get the doctors that call you a junky to figure out wtf is wrong with you. Forget about the medication from them. If they start coming up with ideas or things like that to why u are feeling like this, maybe they will decide pain medication is for you, but atm they just don't know what the problem is, so they are hesitant. And assholes
If getting narcotics is really what you and your family wants for you, why don't you get on a large dose of methadone? I know its not the best, but at least until you can get a doc that transfers you to a better opiate? Also, cant your family just stop wasting money on the useless doctors and buy you some good dope? My mom always told me to buy her heroin or well actually "pure opium" if she is ever in that sitaution, and she doesnt even do drugs at all!
Man just hang in there ok? Pain sux and its hard to enjoy things I get that, but I seriously don't think your doomed to a life of complete pain. Just when things first happen, often it takes a long time to figure out to fix them and the meanwhile is really painful.
All the best my friend!!
It sux the docs wont give you what u need man. :/ In Canada, atleast for me, when I was injured, they said fuck it that your a junky, your still in pain. That was very nice of them.
I think you should get the doctors that call you a junky to figure out wtf is wrong with you. Forget about the medication from them. If they start coming up with ideas or things like that to why u are feeling like this, maybe they will decide pain medication is for you, but atm they just don't know what the problem is, so they are hesitant. And assholes
If getting narcotics is really what you and your family wants for you, why don't you get on a large dose of methadone? I know its not the best, but at least until you can get a doc that transfers you to a better opiate? Also, cant your family just stop wasting money on the useless doctors and buy you some good dope? My mom always told me to buy her heroin or well actually "pure opium" if she is ever in that sitaution, and she doesnt even do drugs at all!
Man just hang in there ok? Pain sux and its hard to enjoy things I get that, but I seriously don't think your doomed to a life of complete pain. Just when things first happen, often it takes a long time to figure out to fix them and the meanwhile is really painful.
All the best my friend!!
jamesBrown
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2010
- Messages
- 2,711
Once again, thank you all for your kindness. i cant tell you how much this means to me because i really have no one else to go to because i always kept my family life seperate from my friends and i dont want to tell everyone i know that james was a drug addict etc.
just so you guys are updated james' PO appointment went very well with the exception of it and the car ride there and back aggrivating his pain and causing horrible spasms that made him moan like a zombie, even though we doped him up on kolonpin beforehand. his probation officer actually told him that he didnt need to do the extra community service that they had added to his case a short while back. he said he was just going to clear it off his file and to not worry about it ever, so that was very nice. also, while i was waiting outside the bilding, halfway down the street where the nearest parking was to wait for james', i was suprised to see james hobbling over to the car with his PO by his side, helping him the whole way. apparently the PO was extremely pissed off at the way james had been treated and told him to tell our parents to go to the hospitals administrators immediately and give them hell. james said he barely talked about anything related to his probation at all, the entire time his PO was just yelling about how upset he was at the horrible treatment james was given. then after the appointment, the PO actually walked james out of his office, through the waiting area(yelling at people standing in james' way) went down in the elevator with him, walked him outside, and walked him practically all the way to our car waiting for him halfway down the street. james said that his PO even had another client waiting to be seen back up in the building, but he still took the time to help him. it was such a polite gesture i was almost in tears. after all the horible treatment, this act of kindess was beautiful. also, james said he normally just walks him to the waiting area (because its protocol that they stay with there probation clients in the office area) and then he stops at the door to let him go through the waiting room and down the elevator by himself obviously.
on another note, we are still not sure what to do. after we left the Po appointment we stopped by the last hospital he went to to pick up the records in case he goes to another doctor and wants to use the records to help. and if you can believe it there was false information allllll ove the records. they claimed that james had gotten better during his time there, when in fact he had gotten much much worse because of the streess, aggrivation, constantly being called a junky, and the bed he was in that they refused to let him adjust.
ot was unbelievable, it even had basic errors that didnt make sense to falsify if they were trying to make it look better for them. like it said he has diabetes and has had several strokes. when in fact, he most definitely does not have diabetes and has never had even one stroke. hes fucking 22 for gods sake!. they also claimed that he constantly refused treatment and was "particularly difficult to deal with because of played out screaming and crying sessions"....!!!!!WTF!!. there were even more falsifications but i cant remember them now. my memory is starting to go just like james' because of me not sleeping having to stay awake most nights to take care of him. i can only imagine how bad his mind has gotten.
he constantly forgets what he is saying midsentence, constantly cant remember anything, even if it happened just a few minutes ago, sometimes he cant even remember his own last name, or where he went to high school, things like that. it makes my mother cry. i feel bad for he. she allready deals with severe depression and now her son is is having to go through hell and no one will help. her tear ducts are swollen, seriously.
does anyone know what we can do. im afraid to buy him opiates to help because first of all we barely have any money as it is, and second, i think it might cause problems if he does see another doctor. what if we manage to get him to a doctor that will actually help him but when he gets the blood and urine samples he finds opiates that he was never prescribed? i can easily imagine him too refusing treatment because that actually does make james look like a junky. even though he has lost all that weight etc. or we could get lucky and the doctor would understand or just not care. i dont know. its really all a mattter of luck.
and just driving james i a car is enough to cause him to hyperventilate because of the pain and his arms and legs go numb when this happens and then his heart starts to hurt and feel like its failing he tells us. he has lost so much weight and sleep that i really have no clue what kind of condition his heart is in. its almost in constant pain he says though and when his spinal pain peaks, he says he feels like hes about to have a heart attack. and that is unimaginably scary. that could kill him before an ambulance would get the chance to get there. he tells us how weak his heat feels so my mom has been actually forcin him to eat even if he throws up most the time. she gets kicked in to maternal mode will not stop until her son stops losing weight and starts getting sleep.
even though when he does get any sleep whatsoever, we must set an alarm every 15 minutes so he can wake up and move from the floor to the chair, and then 15 minutes later, he will move to the bed, and then back to the floor, and then back to the chair. this is the only way we can keep hijm from feeling the worst pain of all he says. he says the worst pain he has felt throughout this entire experience always occurs after he has slept for 20 minutes or more in the same postion, and he wakes up and it feels like his body is being torn limb from limb, and his spine is being dug out by a steak knife. i just cant imagine. but for the most part he just cant sleep. he only gets an hour or two in every week or so, maybe every 4-6 days now, i dunno, its hard to keep track when there is so many other thinjs to worry about.
i am so worried he is going to commit suicide and yet he doesnt have the energy or ability to talk to a psychiatrist. thats one of the big reasons bothe me and my mother took off of work to watch him. he allready tried to kill himself once by banging his head angainst a thick wooden table head. he said he was just trying to go unconcious, but later he revealed that he was hoping to die. thats when we called the first ambulance. and guess what. the EMT told him to stop screaming and crying in pain and that he cant be in that much pain. fuck them. i wasnt there at that time to witness that but if i was i would of had a few harsh words for the technicians, and i am a pretty straight edge girl. this, and all the other ways he has been treated by medical "proffesionals" is why he has no trust in any hospital or doctor anymore and moans whenever we mention taking him to another one. he says he just wants to die in his home with his family. i cant tell you how sad that makes me, but i can understand his reasoning. we have tried so hard to get him help, he has tried the hardest out of all of us, and he is treated like scum.
i am so sorry for rambling, i just have so much to say and so much on my mind. we dont know what to do. we dont want to make a bad decision that makes this process even longer ffor james. if we go to another hospital, it better be one with understanding doctors that are willing to help or i dont think he will be able to go on any more.
i am crying my eyes out now but a thought occured. maybe the best thing to do now is to just give him a bunch of illegal medications and let him live pain free until he cant hold out any longer. because even when i give him alot of klonopin now, he isnt able to eat anymore like he use to when his pain went down some. he just cant eat at all anymore. im sry i cant take this anymore, i am so sad. if he dies i dont know what i would do. my family would fall into pieces. james truly was the person that heldus all together with his reasoning and appealing personality. he is such a good person. he was such a good person. now he is a shell.
forgive my self pity. im so sorry.
thank you all
angela
just so you guys are updated james' PO appointment went very well with the exception of it and the car ride there and back aggrivating his pain and causing horrible spasms that made him moan like a zombie, even though we doped him up on kolonpin beforehand. his probation officer actually told him that he didnt need to do the extra community service that they had added to his case a short while back. he said he was just going to clear it off his file and to not worry about it ever, so that was very nice. also, while i was waiting outside the bilding, halfway down the street where the nearest parking was to wait for james', i was suprised to see james hobbling over to the car with his PO by his side, helping him the whole way. apparently the PO was extremely pissed off at the way james had been treated and told him to tell our parents to go to the hospitals administrators immediately and give them hell. james said he barely talked about anything related to his probation at all, the entire time his PO was just yelling about how upset he was at the horrible treatment james was given. then after the appointment, the PO actually walked james out of his office, through the waiting area(yelling at people standing in james' way) went down in the elevator with him, walked him outside, and walked him practically all the way to our car waiting for him halfway down the street. james said that his PO even had another client waiting to be seen back up in the building, but he still took the time to help him. it was such a polite gesture i was almost in tears. after all the horible treatment, this act of kindess was beautiful. also, james said he normally just walks him to the waiting area (because its protocol that they stay with there probation clients in the office area) and then he stops at the door to let him go through the waiting room and down the elevator by himself obviously.
on another note, we are still not sure what to do. after we left the Po appointment we stopped by the last hospital he went to to pick up the records in case he goes to another doctor and wants to use the records to help. and if you can believe it there was false information allllll ove the records. they claimed that james had gotten better during his time there, when in fact he had gotten much much worse because of the streess, aggrivation, constantly being called a junky, and the bed he was in that they refused to let him adjust.
ot was unbelievable, it even had basic errors that didnt make sense to falsify if they were trying to make it look better for them. like it said he has diabetes and has had several strokes. when in fact, he most definitely does not have diabetes and has never had even one stroke. hes fucking 22 for gods sake!. they also claimed that he constantly refused treatment and was "particularly difficult to deal with because of played out screaming and crying sessions"....!!!!!WTF!!. there were even more falsifications but i cant remember them now. my memory is starting to go just like james' because of me not sleeping having to stay awake most nights to take care of him. i can only imagine how bad his mind has gotten.
he constantly forgets what he is saying midsentence, constantly cant remember anything, even if it happened just a few minutes ago, sometimes he cant even remember his own last name, or where he went to high school, things like that. it makes my mother cry. i feel bad for he. she allready deals with severe depression and now her son is is having to go through hell and no one will help. her tear ducts are swollen, seriously.
does anyone know what we can do. im afraid to buy him opiates to help because first of all we barely have any money as it is, and second, i think it might cause problems if he does see another doctor. what if we manage to get him to a doctor that will actually help him but when he gets the blood and urine samples he finds opiates that he was never prescribed? i can easily imagine him too refusing treatment because that actually does make james look like a junky. even though he has lost all that weight etc. or we could get lucky and the doctor would understand or just not care. i dont know. its really all a mattter of luck.
and just driving james i a car is enough to cause him to hyperventilate because of the pain and his arms and legs go numb when this happens and then his heart starts to hurt and feel like its failing he tells us. he has lost so much weight and sleep that i really have no clue what kind of condition his heart is in. its almost in constant pain he says though and when his spinal pain peaks, he says he feels like hes about to have a heart attack. and that is unimaginably scary. that could kill him before an ambulance would get the chance to get there. he tells us how weak his heat feels so my mom has been actually forcin him to eat even if he throws up most the time. she gets kicked in to maternal mode will not stop until her son stops losing weight and starts getting sleep.
even though when he does get any sleep whatsoever, we must set an alarm every 15 minutes so he can wake up and move from the floor to the chair, and then 15 minutes later, he will move to the bed, and then back to the floor, and then back to the chair. this is the only way we can keep hijm from feeling the worst pain of all he says. he says the worst pain he has felt throughout this entire experience always occurs after he has slept for 20 minutes or more in the same postion, and he wakes up and it feels like his body is being torn limb from limb, and his spine is being dug out by a steak knife. i just cant imagine. but for the most part he just cant sleep. he only gets an hour or two in every week or so, maybe every 4-6 days now, i dunno, its hard to keep track when there is so many other thinjs to worry about.
i am so worried he is going to commit suicide and yet he doesnt have the energy or ability to talk to a psychiatrist. thats one of the big reasons bothe me and my mother took off of work to watch him. he allready tried to kill himself once by banging his head angainst a thick wooden table head. he said he was just trying to go unconcious, but later he revealed that he was hoping to die. thats when we called the first ambulance. and guess what. the EMT told him to stop screaming and crying in pain and that he cant be in that much pain. fuck them. i wasnt there at that time to witness that but if i was i would of had a few harsh words for the technicians, and i am a pretty straight edge girl. this, and all the other ways he has been treated by medical "proffesionals" is why he has no trust in any hospital or doctor anymore and moans whenever we mention taking him to another one. he says he just wants to die in his home with his family. i cant tell you how sad that makes me, but i can understand his reasoning. we have tried so hard to get him help, he has tried the hardest out of all of us, and he is treated like scum.
i am so sorry for rambling, i just have so much to say and so much on my mind. we dont know what to do. we dont want to make a bad decision that makes this process even longer ffor james. if we go to another hospital, it better be one with understanding doctors that are willing to help or i dont think he will be able to go on any more.
i am crying my eyes out now but a thought occured. maybe the best thing to do now is to just give him a bunch of illegal medications and let him live pain free until he cant hold out any longer. because even when i give him alot of klonopin now, he isnt able to eat anymore like he use to when his pain went down some. he just cant eat at all anymore. im sry i cant take this anymore, i am so sad. if he dies i dont know what i would do. my family would fall into pieces. james truly was the person that heldus all together with his reasoning and appealing personality. he is such a good person. he was such a good person. now he is a shell.
forgive my self pity. im so sorry.
thank you all
angela
jamesBrown
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2010
- Messages
- 2,711
and to Draigan who posted above me.
thank you so much. but just so you know, you are right that sometimes it takes a long time to fix medical problems and often they are very painful but this is beyond painful first of all. but just so you know, it has allready been a month, and he doesnt have much more time to work this out. he has lost so much weight he will soon be under 100 pounds and he is 6ft tall. his heart will stop working most likely he syas. he allready has a pre-existing heart/chest pain condition that was not diagnosed after years of specialists and testing etc. eventually they called it anxiety and gave him kolonopin. and fortunately thats the only drug really helping him at all now. that drug is the only thing that gives him semi0lucid moments. otherwise he is out of it completely, staring off into his pain world. thats what i call it now. he cant eat, so eventually he will die. and he can barely get any fluids either.
im sry, im posting another long one.
just hope he gets better everyone. because if he doesnt make it, my family will die with him.
i know that sounds corny but its how we are and its how we feel. we would do anything for each other and we can do nothing without each other.
thank you so much. but just so you know, you are right that sometimes it takes a long time to fix medical problems and often they are very painful but this is beyond painful first of all. but just so you know, it has allready been a month, and he doesnt have much more time to work this out. he has lost so much weight he will soon be under 100 pounds and he is 6ft tall. his heart will stop working most likely he syas. he allready has a pre-existing heart/chest pain condition that was not diagnosed after years of specialists and testing etc. eventually they called it anxiety and gave him kolonopin. and fortunately thats the only drug really helping him at all now. that drug is the only thing that gives him semi0lucid moments. otherwise he is out of it completely, staring off into his pain world. thats what i call it now. he cant eat, so eventually he will die. and he can barely get any fluids either.
im sry, im posting another long one.
just hope he gets better everyone. because if he doesnt make it, my family will die with him.
i know that sounds corny but its how we are and its how we feel. we would do anything for each other and we can do nothing without each other.
Vaya
Bluelight Crew
I sort of stumbled across this thread by accident. I usually am found in one of the drug-based forums, but have always had infinite love for HL, SLR and especially TDS. And, having gotten to know JB a little over the past several months, instantly felt compelled to write something here.
...but what?
Angela, you and your family are nothing short of domestic heroes in my eyes. I have read - and believe - every single word you have posted in this thread. Captain.Heroin deserves penultimate respect for having the decency to move discussion about JB's condition to a more forgiving atmosphere; those new to Bluelight are infrequently found in specialized forums like TDS, and those new to Bluelight are typically those who haven't formally developed the sense of compassion it takes to interrelate with others in pain resulting from oddities, such as this mysterious illness, that are so frequently found intertwined with this magical and horrendous thing we call life.
This may sound silly, but in making JB's situation analogous to that of CH's cat, JB must remain a fighter. Pain is the thing we are most primally wired to avoid, oftentimes at any cost. Suicide is a prime example of this, and despite JB's yearning for death, you know as well as I that help may be found under the right circumstances.
The 'right circumstances,' however, are obviously not to be found within the walls of the Baptist/Methodist hospitals you all have thus far sought treatment at. It occurred to me, as I was reading of your family's want and desire to transport JB to a different city to seek proper and informed care (what PM doctor is wholly unaware of buprenorphine??), that you might rent a minivan, remove the back passenger seats and outfit it with something comfortable enough to transport him to a more desirable location. This applies only if you do not already own such a vehicle, but it truly sounds worth considering.
For me, it is nothing short of heartbreaking to read that JB considers himself truly hopeless. Hopelessness, even in the best of us, can cause us to make rash decisions and, in the case of illness, to recede even further into the depths of mental despair and physical deterioration. I have no doubt that your parents' and your own persistence has granted JB at least enough hope to keep on surviving in his condition. However, the physical, mental and monetary toll such persistence must be exacting on you all is sure to have its own limits, as even the best of us is only human. Be sure that your tanks are not running out of fuel, because once they do, you can be sure that most hope for JB is lost - and hope is the intangible stuff of the universe that keeps our tangible world spinning.
I, as several others before me, suggest seeking legal help, regardless of the cost, as it may end up winning much of the money you all have already spent back, as well as giving these doctors a well-deserved kick in the groin for malpractice and sheer inhumanity. I also wish to reiterate my idea regarding the feasible transportation of JB to a caring community where he would be seen, medicated, diagnosed and treated properly so that he might one day return to a level of functionality one might consider 'normal.' Until that happens, rest assured that you all have done, and are doing, absolutely the best that you can considering the circumstances.
I wish the most considerable peace for you, your parents, yours and JB's friends, and most of all for JB himself - wherever he is and whatever he's doing at this moment. Don't hesitate to tell him that I - that we - love him.
But the pain, all of your pain. I cannot even fathom.
My best wishes to all of you.
Love,
James
...but what?
Angela, you and your family are nothing short of domestic heroes in my eyes. I have read - and believe - every single word you have posted in this thread. Captain.Heroin deserves penultimate respect for having the decency to move discussion about JB's condition to a more forgiving atmosphere; those new to Bluelight are infrequently found in specialized forums like TDS, and those new to Bluelight are typically those who haven't formally developed the sense of compassion it takes to interrelate with others in pain resulting from oddities, such as this mysterious illness, that are so frequently found intertwined with this magical and horrendous thing we call life.
This may sound silly, but in making JB's situation analogous to that of CH's cat, JB must remain a fighter. Pain is the thing we are most primally wired to avoid, oftentimes at any cost. Suicide is a prime example of this, and despite JB's yearning for death, you know as well as I that help may be found under the right circumstances.
The 'right circumstances,' however, are obviously not to be found within the walls of the Baptist/Methodist hospitals you all have thus far sought treatment at. It occurred to me, as I was reading of your family's want and desire to transport JB to a different city to seek proper and informed care (what PM doctor is wholly unaware of buprenorphine??), that you might rent a minivan, remove the back passenger seats and outfit it with something comfortable enough to transport him to a more desirable location. This applies only if you do not already own such a vehicle, but it truly sounds worth considering.
For me, it is nothing short of heartbreaking to read that JB considers himself truly hopeless. Hopelessness, even in the best of us, can cause us to make rash decisions and, in the case of illness, to recede even further into the depths of mental despair and physical deterioration. I have no doubt that your parents' and your own persistence has granted JB at least enough hope to keep on surviving in his condition. However, the physical, mental and monetary toll such persistence must be exacting on you all is sure to have its own limits, as even the best of us is only human. Be sure that your tanks are not running out of fuel, because once they do, you can be sure that most hope for JB is lost - and hope is the intangible stuff of the universe that keeps our tangible world spinning.
I, as several others before me, suggest seeking legal help, regardless of the cost, as it may end up winning much of the money you all have already spent back, as well as giving these doctors a well-deserved kick in the groin for malpractice and sheer inhumanity. I also wish to reiterate my idea regarding the feasible transportation of JB to a caring community where he would be seen, medicated, diagnosed and treated properly so that he might one day return to a level of functionality one might consider 'normal.' Until that happens, rest assured that you all have done, and are doing, absolutely the best that you can considering the circumstances.
I wish the most considerable peace for you, your parents, yours and JB's friends, and most of all for JB himself - wherever he is and whatever he's doing at this moment. Don't hesitate to tell him that I - that we - love him.
But the pain, all of your pain. I cannot even fathom.
My best wishes to all of you.
Love,
James
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
James' sister: I am so sorry that he isn't getting any better. 
It really angers me when an EMS said "you can't be in that much pain" - yes you can! Just because you haven't been there yourself, doesn't mean that it's possible!![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
It makes me really frustrated to think about how ignorant medical professionals are, but it's true. I have had doctors prescribe me drugs that I have opted not to take due to a plethora of side effects (like organ damage), I have had doctors prescribe me drugs and then not know what specific class that drug is a part of whereas I did, and I have had doctors refuse to prescribe me drugs without reason or explanation, abruptly dropping me as a patient.
It really angers me when an EMS said "you can't be in that much pain" - yes you can! Just because you haven't been there yourself, doesn't mean that it's possible!
It makes me really frustrated to think about how ignorant medical professionals are, but it's true. I have had doctors prescribe me drugs that I have opted not to take due to a plethora of side effects (like organ damage), I have had doctors prescribe me drugs and then not know what specific class that drug is a part of whereas I did, and I have had doctors refuse to prescribe me drugs without reason or explanation, abruptly dropping me as a patient.
Vaya
Bluelight Crew
It really angers me when an EMS said "you can't be in that much pain" - yes you can! Just because you haven't been there yourself, doesn't mean that it's possible!
Amen. There were times in my life where I underwent trauma/pain that I had not realized could exist in the spectrum of human existence. Nothing like what JB is going through, mind you. But my experiences certainly embolden your words to me.
~ vaya
angela,
so glad the PO was cool. i hope all of our collective energies helped make the situation today better than it could have been. i am relieved that he got to and from the PO with you there, and the PO might be a resource for you. The PO is in law enforcement. You might try to take some time to talk to him about everything. He might have a suggestion. He might have a good recommendation. Maybe he will let JB go out of the area for treatment. Explore all your options with the PO, and make an impression on him that this is life or death. There's no wiggle room anymore. There might be an answer there. Leave no leaf unturned, sister.
I'm worried about his lack of sleep at the moment. I was doing research on sleep because of my particular drug of choice, and I found some information about sleep that astounded me. Sleep deprivation is making his situation worse, if it could get worse, that is. (I like it, personally, because it causes hallucinations. About twice a month I stay awake three days, just so I can enjoy the third day, which is intense. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Your brother and I both come on the same board for the same reason... we need to talk about what chemicals there are, and what they can do.)
For JB, his lack of ability to have restorative REM sleep may be increasing his pain among other things. I was thinking it would be good if he could have some restorative sleep, judging from everything I have read about sleep, or the lack thereof.
Is there anything I can do, Angela? I can pm my cell to you if you want it. We can talk as much as you need to, or as little. I am available and open to you. I have no resources other than my own soul, but it's open to you and your brother.
so glad the PO was cool. i hope all of our collective energies helped make the situation today better than it could have been. i am relieved that he got to and from the PO with you there, and the PO might be a resource for you. The PO is in law enforcement. You might try to take some time to talk to him about everything. He might have a suggestion. He might have a good recommendation. Maybe he will let JB go out of the area for treatment. Explore all your options with the PO, and make an impression on him that this is life or death. There's no wiggle room anymore. There might be an answer there. Leave no leaf unturned, sister.
I'm worried about his lack of sleep at the moment. I was doing research on sleep because of my particular drug of choice, and I found some information about sleep that astounded me. Sleep deprivation is making his situation worse, if it could get worse, that is. (I like it, personally, because it causes hallucinations. About twice a month I stay awake three days, just so I can enjoy the third day, which is intense. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Your brother and I both come on the same board for the same reason... we need to talk about what chemicals there are, and what they can do.)
For JB, his lack of ability to have restorative REM sleep may be increasing his pain among other things. I was thinking it would be good if he could have some restorative sleep, judging from everything I have read about sleep, or the lack thereof.
Is there anything I can do, Angela? I can pm my cell to you if you want it. We can talk as much as you need to, or as little. I am available and open to you. I have no resources other than my own soul, but it's open to you and your brother.
jamesBrown
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2010
- Messages
- 2,711
james was able to eat a mango popsicle today. it was amazing, i could actually tell a difference in him after he ate it. i guess even just a few calories can go a long way in his condition.
thank you all, this could be from your support, and prayers, and wishes, etc.
i appreciate it all. and please dont hesitate to give advice.
i know this seems insignificant but it truly is a miracle to us. when i say he cant eat for weeks, i mean it.
thank you all, this could be from your support, and prayers, and wishes, etc.
i appreciate it all. and please dont hesitate to give advice.
i know this seems insignificant but it truly is a miracle to us. when i say he cant eat for weeks, i mean it.
Thanks so much for the update Angela, I can only imagine how much the events of today have meant to you, with the PO showing such kindness, to James being able to eat the popsicle. I sincerely hope this is the start of more positive signs of improvement.
You and James and your family are all in my thoughts
You and James and your family are all in my thoughts
Hi angela,
First off my heartfelt prayers to james, yourself and your family.
Next off there is no reason whatsoever that any medical worker of anytype. Should have the right to treat another person the way james has been treated. Keep taking notes gathering names and keeping a running list of the dates these utterly human obscenities have occured. You may very well have full grounds for lawsuits.
Next. I went back and read all the symptoms that your brother originally was talking about and I am no dr and this is purely specation but it sounds an awful lot like something that happened to me 3 yrs ago.
It started with lowback pain and would spread down my left left and it caused me to not be able to sit down. At first it was wincing and a week or so latet it turned to yelping and a week later I was reduced to craying moaning and often screamning in pain.
I literally could not even sit on the toilet the pain was so bad. I couldn't stand without hangin onto the wall. I couldn't find a comfortable position for more then a few minutes and then to try to ever turn over I would literally be screaming.
This pain overtook everything from the waist down including both legs and my feet. Even my pubic mound and vulva were completely wracked with pain. To to to a chiropractor my friend litterally put a mattress in the back of her truck as I could not sit at all. Every bump every stopsign I would be howling. My chiro said get to the er. My primary doc saiod get an nri and the hospital refused saying they don't do mris from the er they have to be scheduled.
My daughter picked me up and I was forced to sit in a seat and I screamed blood curtling screams all the way home from the sheer agony. I remember praying out loud screaming for god to jst take me. I couldn't take anymore.
My kids called 911 several times and I wwas rushed to the er. They would give me 5m vic and send me packing. Sorry we don't do mris! When I became so week after no food dehydration and constant cying. One kindly new dr came in and said you need an mri. It turned out I had bilateral sciatica periforms disase.
Ibwas then referred to pain management even with my backgroud of being a junkie and they did take me on. Pm dr said even junkies can have illness and pain. They also knew I was several years clean but yeah there are red flags all over my charts. These guys put me in the hospital and begam 8mg iv diluadid every 3 hours until we got the pain undercontrol and I could het some sleep and rehydrate2d and some food in my body.
We went from there. I am still with them. I have been through various injectins and epidurals and such and some helped and some didn't. I have permenant nerve damge becauae I was blown off for so long. I will always have chronic pain because of it. But it is manageable.
But I felt the helplessness and hopessness that james is feeling. This went on for about 3 months before I lucked into caring and compassionate drs. I can walk again but have to use a cane. I can almost sit througuh a movie. And I can. Function.
I even lost a shitfuck of weight in ther process. When your in that kind of agony you puke if you eat. Its awful.
Anyway sorru for the lengthy post but a goodbdeal of what james listed sounded so familiar to me.
James is blessed to have a loving caring family and you all spund equally as blessed to have him. When he says it feels like a nerve is being pinched. He may very well be right and it could be not just pinched but totally choked. Like I said that several of the things he said set off some alarms and sciatica can be very serious. May be something to look into. In the meantime again sending prayers to you all and wishing a compassionate dr and a speedy recovey for james once they bother to figure out what is going on.
First off my heartfelt prayers to james, yourself and your family.
Next off there is no reason whatsoever that any medical worker of anytype. Should have the right to treat another person the way james has been treated. Keep taking notes gathering names and keeping a running list of the dates these utterly human obscenities have occured. You may very well have full grounds for lawsuits.
Next. I went back and read all the symptoms that your brother originally was talking about and I am no dr and this is purely specation but it sounds an awful lot like something that happened to me 3 yrs ago.
It started with lowback pain and would spread down my left left and it caused me to not be able to sit down. At first it was wincing and a week or so latet it turned to yelping and a week later I was reduced to craying moaning and often screamning in pain.
I literally could not even sit on the toilet the pain was so bad. I couldn't stand without hangin onto the wall. I couldn't find a comfortable position for more then a few minutes and then to try to ever turn over I would literally be screaming.
This pain overtook everything from the waist down including both legs and my feet. Even my pubic mound and vulva were completely wracked with pain. To to to a chiropractor my friend litterally put a mattress in the back of her truck as I could not sit at all. Every bump every stopsign I would be howling. My chiro said get to the er. My primary doc saiod get an nri and the hospital refused saying they don't do mris from the er they have to be scheduled.
My daughter picked me up and I was forced to sit in a seat and I screamed blood curtling screams all the way home from the sheer agony. I remember praying out loud screaming for god to jst take me. I couldn't take anymore.
My kids called 911 several times and I wwas rushed to the er. They would give me 5m vic and send me packing. Sorry we don't do mris! When I became so week after no food dehydration and constant cying. One kindly new dr came in and said you need an mri. It turned out I had bilateral sciatica periforms disase.
Ibwas then referred to pain management even with my backgroud of being a junkie and they did take me on. Pm dr said even junkies can have illness and pain. They also knew I was several years clean but yeah there are red flags all over my charts. These guys put me in the hospital and begam 8mg iv diluadid every 3 hours until we got the pain undercontrol and I could het some sleep and rehydrate2d and some food in my body.
We went from there. I am still with them. I have been through various injectins and epidurals and such and some helped and some didn't. I have permenant nerve damge becauae I was blown off for so long. I will always have chronic pain because of it. But it is manageable.
But I felt the helplessness and hopessness that james is feeling. This went on for about 3 months before I lucked into caring and compassionate drs. I can walk again but have to use a cane. I can almost sit througuh a movie. And I can. Function.
I even lost a shitfuck of weight in ther process. When your in that kind of agony you puke if you eat. Its awful.
Anyway sorru for the lengthy post but a goodbdeal of what james listed sounded so familiar to me.
James is blessed to have a loving caring family and you all spund equally as blessed to have him. When he says it feels like a nerve is being pinched. He may very well be right and it could be not just pinched but totally choked. Like I said that several of the things he said set off some alarms and sciatica can be very serious. May be something to look into. In the meantime again sending prayers to you all and wishing a compassionate dr and a speedy recovey for james once they bother to figure out what is going on.
so, it's mango popsicles FTW? good good. girl you have been through some dark days. ((((hugs))))
*=Regulator=*
Bluelighter
@ Ferrita - thanks for pointing out that just because an individual may have abused drugs in the past makes them no more or less likely than any other person to experience any given medical condition. It's like these Dr's instantly discredit ANY claim from a patient the second they find out they have a history of addiction. Not to mention that's completely ass-backwards because (IMO) the majority of junkies are merely self-medicating some condition (be it physical or psychological).
From the thread, here's my list of ideas of what you could do to help James (no particularly order):
- Get him to a hospital that's not affiliated with any that he's been to so far. If it at all possible, make it a big inner city hospital as they will have much better understanding of both addiction and drugs like Suboxone (what kind for quack has never heard of Suboxone, FFS?). They should have the common decency to realise that even a 'junky' can suffer from severe pain
- See a medical malpractice lawyer for a free consultation and make sure you point out the falsification of records. I checked with my sis, mum and two brother's in law who are all lawyers and they said they would already be sending threatening legal documents to the hospitals your brother has been in. Trust me, the last thing any of these assholes want is to be done for malpractice. It fucks up their indemnity insurance and goes on their permanent record. If they think you even have a 20% chance of taking them on, they'll negotiate.
- Go above the Drs to the hospital administration (this might be part of the medical malpractice deal and you might need to engage a lawyer in any discussions). If you show hospital administration compelling evidence that a) their Dr's have done a terrible job and more importantly b) they have falsified records, they will buckle hard. If you get to this point, try to calmly explain that you DON'T just want Jame's jacked up on pain killers, you want a fucking diagnosis so he can survive this illness
- Try to get a to General Practitioner (family Dr or whatever they're called in the US) and get the whole family in the room (including James) to explain what's happened. In my experience, GP's are so much more about the patient than the symptoms so they should be sympathetic. Don't be scared to march the fuck out if the Dr. says "he's just a junky" and look for another non-asshole Dr.
- In Australia, there is a service called Direct Line which is a 24/7 hotline to help people with drug addiction and co-morbid addiction / physical / psychological conditions. It's a referral service staffed by very experienced nurses who will tell you the best course of action for someone in a given situation. I'm sure there's something like that in the US. Any US BLers know of such a service?
- Finally, the worst scenario; get him some shit off the street so he at least has some relief. If he can stabilise enough to eat a bit a sleep, he'll feel way better.
Don't give up. If this was happening to my brother, sister or mother, I'd be doing the same as you - kicking down doors to help my loved one survive. You've got options, it's just a matter of figuring out what will be most helpful.
Good luck - hope you get through
From the thread, here's my list of ideas of what you could do to help James (no particularly order):
- Get him to a hospital that's not affiliated with any that he's been to so far. If it at all possible, make it a big inner city hospital as they will have much better understanding of both addiction and drugs like Suboxone (what kind for quack has never heard of Suboxone, FFS?). They should have the common decency to realise that even a 'junky' can suffer from severe pain
- See a medical malpractice lawyer for a free consultation and make sure you point out the falsification of records. I checked with my sis, mum and two brother's in law who are all lawyers and they said they would already be sending threatening legal documents to the hospitals your brother has been in. Trust me, the last thing any of these assholes want is to be done for malpractice. It fucks up their indemnity insurance and goes on their permanent record. If they think you even have a 20% chance of taking them on, they'll negotiate.
- Go above the Drs to the hospital administration (this might be part of the medical malpractice deal and you might need to engage a lawyer in any discussions). If you show hospital administration compelling evidence that a) their Dr's have done a terrible job and more importantly b) they have falsified records, they will buckle hard. If you get to this point, try to calmly explain that you DON'T just want Jame's jacked up on pain killers, you want a fucking diagnosis so he can survive this illness
- Try to get a to General Practitioner (family Dr or whatever they're called in the US) and get the whole family in the room (including James) to explain what's happened. In my experience, GP's are so much more about the patient than the symptoms so they should be sympathetic. Don't be scared to march the fuck out if the Dr. says "he's just a junky" and look for another non-asshole Dr.
- In Australia, there is a service called Direct Line which is a 24/7 hotline to help people with drug addiction and co-morbid addiction / physical / psychological conditions. It's a referral service staffed by very experienced nurses who will tell you the best course of action for someone in a given situation. I'm sure there's something like that in the US. Any US BLers know of such a service?
- Finally, the worst scenario; get him some shit off the street so he at least has some relief. If he can stabilise enough to eat a bit a sleep, he'll feel way better.
Don't give up. If this was happening to my brother, sister or mother, I'd be doing the same as you - kicking down doors to help my loved one survive. You've got options, it's just a matter of figuring out what will be most helpful.
Good luck - hope you get through
Hey Angela,
The poster above me has some wonderful things to say. I thought it was thoroughly good and useful. I hope it helps you too. It's another day for you to shoulder. Be blessed and JB, be blessed. I am still and have not stopped thinking about you.
(By the way, my actual name is Denise.)
The poster above me has some wonderful things to say. I thought it was thoroughly good and useful. I hope it helps you too. It's another day for you to shoulder. Be blessed and JB, be blessed. I am still and have not stopped thinking about you.
(By the way, my actual name is Denise.)
Amen to everything regulator said. Excellent advice. And Angela correct me here of I'm wrong. James is off all the opiates and on suboxone right? And he is prescribed klonipin. So he is in compliance with his medsthus there is no way he is in withdrawls. I just want to make sure that's correct so people don't think the pain he is having is because he's withdrawing atthe moment. In fact I think james is a seasoned abuser and has been throrough withdrawl before so he would know if that os what was going on. I just wanted to make sure i understood that.
In the meantime id followup with some of regulators suggestions as time allows and don't forget to be kind to you.
Peace prayers and huge hugs
Tammie
In the meantime id followup with some of regulators suggestions as time allows and don't forget to be kind to you.
Peace prayers and huge hugs
Tammie
slowpoke1967
Bluelighter
again ill say i dont know where you live but talking to the po as mentioned might be able to swing getting him to canada.
If its at all possible please do it.
He will be treeted rite.
I have a drug hystory a mile long and when i have my cholitis attacks which also are so painfull i cant explaine,i get whats needed be it morphine which doesnt realy work i ussualy get demeral every 4 hours on the dot.
If this is not possible im very sorry because i know he would get help here..
Keep on keeping the faith you still have.....
best wishes.
If its at all possible please do it.
He will be treeted rite.
I have a drug hystory a mile long and when i have my cholitis attacks which also are so painfull i cant explaine,i get whats needed be it morphine which doesnt realy work i ussualy get demeral every 4 hours on the dot.
If this is not possible im very sorry because i know he would get help here..
Keep on keeping the faith you still have.....
best wishes.
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