I don't know. I mean, people stay on Subs their whole lives without problems. Not that I want to stay on Sub for the rest of my life. I'm just saying... it might seem like the right way to him, but... yeah. I just don't think Suboxone is something that should be completely in the doctor's control; I feel like both the doctor and the patient should come to an agreement. I know the way my brain works, and I'm sure it's not much different for other addicts. You can't just... force someone to get clean before they're ready.
And who knows... maybe I will stay clean. Maybe I'll have the self control to be a good little D.A.R.E. student and "just say no". If I can relapse just because I'm saying I will, then I can just as easily not relapse by telling myself I'll stay clean. It's just hard to keep a positive mindset about all this when my family is doing things to remind me why life was better when I didn't have to feel anything. But at this point, it's all speculation really. Right now I'm just trying not to worry about it too much and take it one day at a time. I'll deal with the future when it comes.
I haven't heard about those discount card things, but I have heard about that program. I already applied for it a long time ago and was denied. I'll check out those discount things though. Oh and no I don't have somas... someone just suggested I get those. I do have Trams, but I only have 2 left. I've come across websites that sell both, but I'm not sure how legal that is? The last thing I need is police knocking on my door for buying prescription drugs online while I'm going through withdrawals lol. I'd have to check into what the laws are in my state for that. If worse comes to worse, I could find a state where it is legal and have a friend order it for me then mail it to me. Good thing about being in the military is having friends all over the U.S.

He DID say he would give me clonodine however, just that he was concerned about whether it was safe for me to take... and I THINK he said he was going to give me Valium... but I could have just been hearing what I wanted to hear and he actually said something else. I can't be sure, he refused to give me Valium when I was going through the hydro withdrawals so I don't know what would make him change his mind now. But we'll see. Either way, there are a bunch of herbal supplements I'm going to try just in case he falls through... I think Melissa Lemon (?) essential oil was one of them... Valerian root was another... there were like three more that I forgot the name of, but some people swear by them. It can't hurt to try. And if nothing else, then I have two Trams and 8 Vicodin that I can use to taper further if it gets too bad.
And before anyone asks, no I'm not worried about taking Vicodin. At least not so soon after getting off the Subs. I was off the Subs for about a month after having surgery and was on Norco, and all the Norco did was make me sick. I was actually disgusted by them after a while and requested the Trams instead because I couldn't stand taking the Norco. I think it's because there was still Sub in my system, idk. I'm just saying that 8 Vicodin 5/500's won't be a problem judging from past experiences, so no worries.
But... despite my fears, I really do feel confident about this. I mean, making it through the withdrawals. As much as I'd like to say "You're right- I'm a Marine, I should be able to make it through anything", the fact of the matter is that logic doesn't work in this situation. It's hard to explain... but in the Marines, the pain, the fear, etc. was for a good cause... and it was caused my external forces. This situation seems like one that's completely pointless and could have been avoided, not to mention that it was self imposed. It's easy to force yourself to get through something when you have a Drill Instructor or your platoon sergeant screaming in your ear to suck up the pain and deal with it, you're doing it for something other than yourself. It's not so easy when all you have is your own brain, trying it's hardest to convince you to just take one more... one more stupid fucking pill and all the pain will go away. At least for the moment. And really, it's hard NOT to get caught up in the moment when every second feels like an hour lol.
Wow that was a really demotivational speech I just gave myself. Seriously though, I am confident. Somewhat at least. My plan is to just take whatever herbal supplements and prescriptions I can get my hands on and do nothing but watch boring movies and play the Sims. I might be in a world of pain, but at least I can build sick houses for my Sims to live in. And I'll have my snowboard within eyesight the whole entire time for motivational purposes. And I'll have my puppy. And chili cheese fries. That's really all I need.
Oh, and I get where you're coming from when you say you don't trust people who say they're going to quit on this date or that date. The only reason for that is because I still need to get things in order that I'm going to need in order to be prepared. Like, I need to go to my doctor and get whatever prescriptions he's going to give me, give him a list of the supplements I plan on taking just to make sure everything's okay and that there won't be any weird interactions, and then of course I need to actually order said supplements and wait for them to come in the mail, which I can't do until the 1st because that's when my VA check comes in. Trust me, if I already had all of my prescriptions and herbal necessities in front of me and everything was all squared away, I'd see no reason why it shouldn't be today instead of the 8th. But as it is, I don't have everything I need yet, so... it's going to have to wait. Either way, I'm not complaining lol it just gives me more time to prepare mentally. & thanks for all the support guys :D