I've had a few of these terrorizing yet tantalizing experiences lately. I shot iv coke occasionally in my twenties. Well probably more than occasionally. But my problem was more so opiates. The first time I shot coke I was told I would get a bell ringer. I was told by my partner in crime that I would taste it in the back of my throat, hear a ringing noise and vomit and that's exactly what happened to me. There is only one time back then that I remember doing a shot and the whole room spinning and I couldn't stand up for a few minutes. I definitely saw it at the time as less of an overdose more of an intense ringer. But there are also many nights I don't remember. So who knows how many times it actually happened. I recently had the opportunity to start using again after many many years of being clean. The opportunity presented itself for me to buy extremely high quality clean cocaine on the internet. Not even the dark web. Just the Regular old internet. What a time to be alive. I was like I'm going to treat myself because I deserve it. One time a few months ago I was treating myself. I did a shot a shot, got intense flush, intense taste in the back of my throat, and the room started spinning . I had to sit down because couldn't keep myself up. And again in that moment I saw it as as an intense ringer. Maybe not super healthy but not really scary. Okaya little sscary but mostly fun. I was like damn that was sick. A Couple more more times in the last few months Ive trying to replicate it. Problem was I didn't really know how much I put in that shot. I was trying to get there again without overdoing it. And I have had a couple more good ones and have been experiencing the auditory and visual hallucinations like the whispering. And the room spinning. It's so weird. it's scary but I love it. So this one day I dissolved a whole bunch. No idea how much maybe a gram or more. I had no intention of doing it all at once. I absent-mindedly sucked it up all in one syringe. and was like derp I was going to add more water to that and put it into two or three syringes. and I was like oh well I'll just do some of it. Take it slow. My veins were already starting to be a problem at that point. My veins are very thin inaccessible. I was missing a lot. So I didn't think a lot of what was in that would connect. There was one on my hands that I'd been having some luck with but I wasn't sure it would work. It was small but mighty. It had this crusty scab on the outside of it. And the needle just slid right into that Little hole like a glove. And when I pulled back I got that massive gush of red that that I had been praying for and had been elusive. I injected 1/4.. I don't remember how long I waited., a few seconds, but I remember thinking it was long enough. I don't exactly remember exactly what I felt but I was good to go for the next fourth cuz I pulled it back, I pushed it in and that little vein had my my back because that crusty little scab vein held it in place and didn't burst. It was my lucky day. so again I remember thinking it was time to go for the third fourth. And I don't remember what I thought between the third fourth and the fourth fourth, but I must have thought it was cool, because I did it. And don't I remember if it was and intense flush, or intense taste in the back of my throat or what that gave it away but I remember saying out loud to myself oh I'm in trouble. I knew what was about to happen and I grabbed on to the bed and a box of me, or dear life, told myself mentally to hang in there. And ride it out. I don't know what it looked like but I imagine I was shaking violently and I could hear myself breathing very deeply and stresseedly in and out . I don't know how long it lasted. Maybe 10 minutes at the most I. I had prepared my surroundings. the worst that happened was I knocked over a ceramic lamp and crushed the lamp shade. When it started to subside need I realized I overshot the mark a little. As I was getting myself up off the floor . I said to myself I'm done that was crazy. No more of that nonsense. I started trying to research on the internet what A cocaine over dose looks like thinking that was for sure an OD. I Found something that talked about a cocaine seizure. So I was like okay that's what that was. But the the medical blurbs did not ddescribe the uncontrollable shaking and the room spinning. But then I stumbled upon another message board like this one. Where people describe those same experiences. But then I saw two people talk about a train. they talked about seeing train coming and a big flash of light and in that moment thinking they are dead for sure. I'm starting to get the image of a spectrum here. You've got a rush, and then you got a ringer, and a smattering of auditory and visual hallucinations. Then comes room spinning but you're pretty coherent you just can't stand up. After that comes shaking violently and breathing heavily and thinking you could be seriously uunwell. And after that comes the train. I don't ever want to see that train.
